


Ghosts of Times Past

by elvenfair1



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Biting, Dark Past, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Drama, Feral Behavior, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inappropriate Erections, Lactation Kink, Marking, Masturbation, Past Child Abuse, Psychological Breakdown, Psychological Drama, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Roughness, Scratching, Sex, Some really strange shit happens in this story trust me lol, feral sexual behavior, primitive displays of behavior, some kinks I cannot define
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-16 04:44:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 84,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10563882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvenfair1/pseuds/elvenfair1
Summary: This IS a SEQUEL to  "Of the Bloodline" this story won't make any sense,so I advise you to read the other before starting this one ;)





	1. Ghosts of Times Past

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom thought I looked like an Apple. _.nice,_ I however leaned more toward ridiculous..,from behind you really couldn't tell I was pregnant,but from the front.. _*sigh*._.perfectly rounded belly,and yes Tom got what he was hoping for,"Big titties",not that I let him touch the absurd sized melons that had developed..much, _like I really could keep his hands off them._

and I guess all that _praying_  I did..worked,we found out last month I was indeed carrying a girl,I nearly fell off the exam table laughing when the Tech pointed out the "girly parts" on the screen,and Tom seemed a bit squeamish when he saw it,something about _"its not right for a father to be looking at his daughters..wee wee"..._ the Tech assured him that in this case it was fine,I think she got a chuckle out of his reaction too.

we had discussed names,Tom was at a loss,he totally was against the idea of using his mothers name and suggested we use my mom's,so to avoid a possible argument,I used my moms middle name,but Tom insisted my first name be our daughters middle name,thus we came up with Eithne Lilianna Hiddleston,with her first name pronounced "Enya" Tom thought it flowed perfectly.

"Lily!"

I could hear Tom's voice from down  the hallway.

"I'm in the nursery!"

yeah where I've been all morning long,deciding on what color to paint it,from the three cans of paint I had in front of me. _.ugh,this was the shits._

"darling,what _are_ you doing?"

"don't try my already thin patience,..here" I pointed to the cans of paint,"you choose"

Tom walked over and looked into each of the cans,quietly pondering.

"their all shitty"

"what!?"

"well,you asked" he threw his hands up helplessly,"that one is a boring pink" pointing to the can on the left

"that's Primrose" I frowned.

he pointed to the middle can.

"this one will make this room look like a brothel,not a nursery"

"that one is Cerise,and just how the hell would you know what the color scheme of a Brothel is?" uh huh,the arrival of  the cheesy smile,teeth an all. "you're such a whore Hiddleston" 

"ehehehehehehe"

"okay Pimp Daddy,..what about the last can?"

"too light"

groaning,this was a lost cause,all the paint samples I bought were either boring,whorish or too light..fuck it,I want some ice cream.

"Lily...where are you going?"

turning I watched as she passed me by as fast as her waddle would let her.. _waddle,_ yeah note to self, **do not** say that out loud.

"I'm getting something to eat,I wash my hands of that shit for now,you can have at it!"

she called from the hallway,looking down at the repulsive colors...there was no way my daughters room was going to be covered in this puke.

Watching Lily spoon a mouthful of ice cream into her mouth,stopping as she swallowed.

"problem?"

"no...I'm just beginning to think you're going to give birth to a popsicle with as much ice cream you eat..ehehehehehe"

"hey,at least I don't dip fries in it anymore,so quit giving me crap" she waved her spoon at me,"or you'll wear it" 

"grumpy"

"asshole"

"I rest my case" I sighed.

"ppphhhttt"

"its not a contest Lily" frowning now,"I'm not picking on you,I love how you've changed" I was up against her belly now,hands on each side.

"yeah,that's why you call my paint choices whorish and bland,and call our daughter a frozen treat,cause of my weird appetite"

usually Lily wasn't prone to pouting.. _no,that was my skill,_ but seeing her do it more often since her pregnancy progressed,I found it charming.

"well then..will make up sex make you feel better?"

 

I never knew that there were so many chocolate chips in that ice cream of hers,and having spent twenty minutes,cleaning the small spots of chocolate and the crappy sticky green slime that was once the ice cream. _.out of my hair,_ I think I learned something.. _timing was everything._

still busily cleaning myself when I heard a loud sigh.

"boy,what ya gone an done this time?"

looking over only to see Ken shaking his head.

"don't start old man" I warned pointing a finger,knowing he'd give me shit in a heartbeat.

"looks ta me ya put ya foot in ya mouth"

"Ken"

"ya said something about sex again..didn't ya" there was mirth in his tone,and..yeah,he was seconds from laughing. _.goddamn it Ken how do you know?!_

"piss off and go get this wash rag wet again" holding it out to him,walking by me he took it,stifling a chuckle,"not.. _a word"_

Having enough of Ken's ribbing,I went for a shower to wash the sticky mess from my hair and face between Lily's Roller coaster moods and Ken benefiting from them, I sometimes felt like one of those over used dartboards at the Pub's.

I had refrained from going on my daily "runs" as I really didn't need them,and the stress wasn't so bad that I had too,but...I wasn't so sure now,was I being petty?,Dropping my head back,closing my eyes just letting the hot water pour over my face and down my back.

a little smile reached my lips when the familiar touch of two small hands smoothed down each of my sides resting on my hips,and the "bump" of her belly on my bum, the sensation of a pair of soft lips pressed against my back,and began to trail down my spine,arching my back slightly as her lips brushed lightly on my skin tickling it, bringing on a swift arousal.

while her lips teased their way back up,her hands had slid down the front of me on each side,one cupping my balls,the other carefully grasping my cock making long slow strokes,both hands working each what they held,to say the least this was a surprise,a wonderful one at that,I continued to let her have her way with me.

filling the bathroom with the sounds of my own pleasure,she had never spoke,but worked me until I came,regaining myself,I turned to see the contrite but smiling Mum of my baby.

"that was..."

putting a finger to my lips.

 _"sshhh..I know"_ her smile grew.

I guess, _I got_ the the make up sex...hmm,usually that was the other way around,and...I never had anyone make up to . _.me_ with sex before.

 

Watching Lily prepare for work,it amazed me how she managed to look professional even pregnant,today it was as Lily described it,a long light green _,_ A-line cut ,short sleeve blouse,and of course black maternity leggings,though with her small build and her six month belly protruding,what she was wearing..Lily looked like an dainty Olive,though for the sake of my genitals I kept _that_ observation and many others.. to myself.

"find something interesting?"

uh oh..

"just like looking at you" smiling,"how's  Eithne this morning,she awake?"

rubbing her belly carefully,looking down.

"um..a little,though I'm not sure I should of eaten that Roast last night..too many onions" she wrinkled her nose  _"gassy"_

"ehehehehehehe...I'll call Lennox and warn him..and Vera too"

that earned me a middle finger,lovely coming from a mum to be,pursing my lips I made a kissy face with a wink.

"ew..stop" picking up her purse now,"you're nasty enough without doing that"

wiggling my brows,she had yet to know just.. _how_ nasty I could be,I never really have demonstrated my full potential,ehehehehe,but that would have to wait for another..three months,then there was the six weeks to heal..shit,looking at my crotch now I realized I would be spending time taking a lot of.. unnecessary showers.

"will you need me to pick you up?"

"no,Kate offered it's been awhile since we've seen each other anyways"

"then I'll see you tonight" pulling her as close as her belly would allow,kissing her,nuzzling her face with my nose,"I'll miss you both"

 

Vera left me a note assuring me today's schedule was to be light,which was fine,light or heavy,pregnant or not I could handle it,I liked my job.

and it seem today we had a few new patients I needed to enter into our system,of course they came by paper file.. _ugh,oh well._

the first two were simple enough,had them done in less than twenty minutes..but the last one,was different seems this guy had been court ordered to see Lennox.

opening his file,the picture that accompanied it surprised me, to see how young he was,sad really.

 

                                                

 

 

he was handsome too,hope Lennox could help him out,get his life back on track,way too young to be spending his life in and out of trouble.

 _"Eli Shaw"_  murmuring as I studied the picture shaking my head.

setting the file down I went about entering his information into the Computer, he had an appointment set for tomorrow and it was pertinent that I get this done now before today's appointments started pouring in.

An hour or so into work,Lennox came out of his office looking either concerned or deep in thought I wasn't sure.

"need something?"

turning his attention to me,but his expression hadn't changed,it must be about one of his patients,he always took his job seriously and if someone was in great need,he wore it on his face.

"no..but I'm a bit baffled by the flood of referrals I've been receiving from the courts" rubbing at the back of his neck.

"really?..so its not normal for you to get any from them?"

"oh no,I do..but these are from the criminal courts, not family court cases I usually deal with,now if they need a Psychiatrist for a Psych Eval or even a professional opinion in a criminal court case,yes I try to make myself available"

seeing the man looked tired and a bit distressed,I had a suggestion.

"if you want,I think I can resolve this unnecessary caseload? and halt anymore submissions from the criminal courts,I could type up a letter and email it to all the courts you have on file,specifying that you no longer wish to receive patients from them"

Lennox face melted into a small smile.

"you know Lily,that would be..brilliant,keep the appointments already scheduled,but please go forward with your idea..I'll not be taking on anymore criminal cases"

"I'll get right on it Doc"

"you are a god send Lily,I thank you" patting my shoulder.

"you don't have another appointment for another hour an half,why don't you go to that Cafe you like so much,get some tea,then maybe you'll get back in time to catch a bit of a nap"

his smile broadened almost into a smirk.

"like a mother Hen already," he chuckled,"you have enough on your plate Lily with that baby on the way and.. _the one at home._.no need to worry about me too"

I caught his reference right away and laughed,yes..Tom was my Giant toddler indeed.

 

Who would of thought getting into a vehicle,a simple every day task could turn into a circus act.. _fucking hell_ ,just easing my ungainly ass into it took Kate holding the door open,not to mention one of my hands just so my ass would make it to the seat and not the sidewalk.

"ya in?"

looking up my frown couldn't of been more apparent,or my annoyance.

"I swear to Christ,if this kid is the size of a preschooler when I pop..I'm cutting that mans dick off!"

a wry smile appeared on Kate's face.

"I'd pay ta see that..hell" she shut the door,"I be sellin' tickets!"

"an Ken would provide the drinks..you two are sadistic"

hands on hips,standing outside the car,giving me a scolding look.

"we are?..you're the one threatin' ta cut off Tom's manhood...I'm thinkin' ya got ya wires crossed Lily"

"can we go home?,I'm too tired to argue"

I invited Kate for dinner,so we headed to the Cottage,when we got there,I was instantly suspicious,Ken was calmly drinking a cup of coffee and sporting a shit eating grin, Tom however was giddy as a 2 year old on Christmas morning.

"darling your timing is brilliant!" he was practically bouncing on his feet and clapping his hands.

_good night what the hell is with that?_

"he's been acting like this for the last hour,I've been close ta thrown' his arse in the Pigs trough a couple of times" Ken shook his head.

"put a sock in it Ken..now try being useful,get that handkerchief I had,so I can blindfold her"

"handkerchief?...blindfold?..the hell have you been drinking!?" I took a step back.

"probably some of that homemade piss that ol' git MacMillan that lives down the road makes" Kate grumbled most disapprovingly.

"no!" both men said in unison.

"here,use the scarf,cant find the handkerchief" Ken held out one of my silky scarves.

"that's perfect" Tom took it,as he approached me I gave him a dubious look,"what?..its nothing kinky,besides..you know I like using my belt anyways"

gasping I hit him hard across the chest as he barked out his laughter,Ken looked like he knew what that was all about,but wasn't commenting,Kate looked at Ken like she was clueless and was waiting for an explanation.

"I hope our daughter grows up and finds a guy..just like you,maybe.. _even worse!"_

the laughter stopped abruptly.

"not funny"

"wasn't suppose to be,..now,what are you up too?" I demanded.

"its a surprise Lily,please" he held up the scarf.

"fine"

excitedly Tom went about putting the scarf over my eyes,tying it off in the back.

"can you see?"

"no.."

"good,okay,Kate you take one side I'll take the other,Ken you're in the front and we'll guide her"

I knew at one point we were in the hallway cause I bumped into the wall..belly first of course.

_"ah!"_

"Jesus Ken,ya suppose ta make sure she gets there straight away without damages,at this rate this child is going ta born with a goose egg on her bum or head" Kate chided.

"well hell fire woman,what do I know of pregnant women?..my knowledge goes as far as pregnant cows an pigs"

"oh well,that makes me feel so much better" I groaned.

finally we stopped,my body was turned and the hands that had been guiding me,left..I began sniffing.

"I smell paint"

"well that nose of yours is workin'"

turning my head in the direction of his voice.

"gee thanks Ken..you're on a roll"

" woman..ya awful sensitive"

"you have.. _no idea"_ I gave him a toothy smile,more out of warning than of humor.

I felt Tom untie the scarf,once off,I adjusted my vision.

_"oh"_

I couldn't believe it,it was the Nursery..totally completed,the walls had been painted in a beautiful Lavender,bordering the entire ceiling a decorative crown molding,my eyes fell on my favorite part of the room,something designed by Ken himself.

 it was an Arched window nook with diamond leaded glass window, it had been decorated, flanked by small silver sunburst and crescent moon mirror wall plates over a built-in linen skirted bench topped with pastel purple plaid pillows and a lavender velvet floral pillow,it was a quiet place for me to sit with the baby..our own personal space.

the crib was even set up,with the linens and bumper,and the diaphanous curtain hanging from above,draping around the crib itself, next to it against the wall was the matching changing table.

 _"do you like it?"_ Tom whispered in my ear.

slowly turning,I think seeing my watery eyes answered his question,wrapping my arms around him,burying my face into his chest.

"I think she approves" Ken chuckled.

looking over at him I nodded.

"I do" I sniffed back the tears,"the nook is beautiful Ken,I love it"

"he added this too" Tom pointed.

looking in that direction I saw a dark wood finish trundle daybed opposite side of the crib,fully dressed in linens and pillows.

"I figured ya going ta be up a lot with that wee lass,might as well make it easier on ya,so now ya can stay in here with her instead of runnin' back an forth durin' the night" 

"that's perfect,I know I'll be making use of that" I laughed,"you both worked on this all day..didn't you"

"pretty much,and as ya can see..we got that thick soft wall to wall carpet ya wanted..the color they said is called..oatmeal" Ken said as he squatted down running his fingers over the carpet.

I couldn't believe it,the Nursery was done...and everything I had wanted was in it,and Tom actually picked a paint color that was..feminine,I was afraid he  might pick one that would be trashy,although he did think the Cerise sample I had was..whorish,well..it kinda was.

 

Coming out of the bathroom,checking my appearance I noticed Vera taking particular care in what she was looking at on the computer.

her glasses resting at the end of her nose,her lips,barely moving as she was reading something intently.

"you on tumblr again Vera?,don't let Lennox catch you" I chuckled.

"huh?" she looked above the monitor,"oh..no" she gave a wave,"ya know I don't do that social media stuff,but..I just got these transcripts emailed ta us for one of our new patients,funny thing is..you already put his information in here"

"really?..who sent them?" I was curious now.

" High Court of Justiciary"

"they handle criminal cases,I only put in three new patients in the system yesterday,only one of those were court ordered,but not from them" I walked over to the desk.

"that's why I'm a bit confused,why mail the half of the patients transcripts an its half arsed information anyways then..email the rest?" Vera shook her head

"what's the Patients name"

Looking at the screen again,scrolling through,she searched for the name.

"an Eli Shaw...bad news this one is"

I remembered him,but...he was a referral from the criminal courts?,something was screwy here..someone fucked up somewhere along the line.

"really?..just how bad?"

Vera was about to answer when the door to the clinic opened.

"hello darlings,hope I'm not late,..judge will have my bollocks on a chopping block,old wanker that he is" 

it was a cheeky greeting from a cheeky guy, namely... Eli Shaw,hanging lazily from the corner of his mouth,a lollipop. _.lovely,_ this one is going to...

my nose wrinkled,but it was my memory that had the impact upon the scent that unexpectedly overwhelmed my senses.

_Licorice._

 

_To be Continued..._

 

 

_Photos credit/source- https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/13/6a/e1/136ae10700e86fc102347ca353132c72.jpg_


	2. Ghosts of Times Past

_"Lennox..we have a bit of a crisis out here!"_

Vera hadn't even finished her sentence when she burst through his office door,Lennox stood up immediately from behind his desk.

"Vera!?"

"it's Lily..shes gone an locked herself in the women's loo,I can't seem ta get her ta come out..or even why she ran off in there in the first place?..an..we have a patient in the Lobby..from the courts too"

"sign the client in,I'll deal with Lily"

The gentle but repetitive knocking on the bathroom door lured my attention,I knew it wasn't Vera this time.

"Lily darling..it's Lennox,are you unwell?,is it the baby?..do you need me to take you to the A&E?"

no Lennox,I don't need the A&E, you need to figure out why I smelled Licorice coming from your new patient currently in your Lobby.

it could be coincidence,but then again considering he's court ordered to be here to be counseled for a crime I've reasons yet to discover,my instincts tell me...it was for sexual assault.

"I..I don't need a Doctor"

"Lily..what's the matter..please,you have Vera and I worried"

moving closer to the door,my body clearly shaking now,the baby began to stir,looking down I smoothed my hands across my belly.. _easy sweetheart we're going to be fine,soon as that shit is removed from the premises._

"Lennox,..your new patient,in the Lobby...I can't go out there with him present,he... _he smells of..Licorice"_ my voice broke and I began to weep against the door."he's also here by the court,if you check,I just bet its from the  High Court of Justiciary...and his crime was of a..sexual nature"

"alright Lily..darling you just relax,I'm going to check some things out quickly,I'll be right back"

I heard hasty talking between at least two people,then some voices were raised,one was clearly Eli's,the discussion was a bit hurried and didn't sound friendly,my body jumped when I heard a door slam.

_"he's gone darling"_

slowly opening the door just a crack,peering out I saw Lennox smiling warmly as much as he could through the worried expression on his face.

_"was..he?"_

the worry on his face deepened as he looked away briefly,then back to me.

"I'm afraid so Lily,Mister Shaw was indeed..your attacker"

my legs folded and Lennox caught me before I hit the floor as a plethora of emotions slammed into me.

"Vera!..get Ken Hiddleston on the phone,now!"

 

Propped up on the brown vintage leather Chaise lounge in Lennox office,Lennox himself sat tentive next to me as I sipped on a glass of water.

"how you feeling darling..better?"

nodding as I held the glass of water,I was still trying to absorb his words from earlier.

"so,what you said..Eli,he" fumbling with the glass now,"he was the guy,and the Licorice smell?"

"the Lolli he had,seems he fancy's them..a lot" Lennox sighed,"Lily,I had Vera call the courthouse after reading _the rest of_ his transcripts that they so _conveniently_ forgot to email to us until today" he gritted his teeth,"I declined to see him as a patient,on the grounds that the victim named in the court documents,namely you...is under my employment"

how incompetent can a Judicial branch be? as to half ass a felon's information when referring them to Therapy,how is the counselor suppose to do their job with _half.._ of the info? they were lucky they sent the rest of Eli's,what they weren't expecting was...me.

"did they except your refusal?"

"without delay" he smirked,"and for good measure I made sure they were aware of your.. _delicate condition_ should they try to dispute the rejection of their order,not that they could force it, _you are_ the victim listed in the court transcripts after all"

the door to Lennox's office swung open,not violently but it was enough to get our attention,almost staggering in was Ken,wide eyed and somewhat out of breath.

"nearly got meself bloody well killed gettin' here,Lily ya alright Lass?,Vera said it was important I get here an ta say nothin' ta Tom"

quickly making his way over to me he sat,taking one of my hands.

"maybe you should explain Doc"

By the time Lennox was finished explaining I thought Ken was going to go int cardiac arrest,I noticed his touch became more protective on me as Lennox's account of what went down earlier seem to incense him.

"bugger me,.. that sack of mule shite was in this very office?"

"yes,but not anymore...I relieved myself of any responsibility to him,the court was made aware of.. _things"_ Lennox  looked at Ken directly.

"ya was right in not havin' Tom here,it woulda been.." Ken shook his head,"well let's just say I'm not up fer the mess that boy woulda cause just huntin' this guy down", patting my hand and giving it a rub,"an with this wee bundle comin' Lily,Tom has bumped up that protective side of himself...though its best ya tell him when we get home"

"home?" I swung my legs off the Chaise lounge,"but my day just started,I can't go home yet,Tom will really lose his shit if I come home so early and finding out _why"_

"Lily,as your friend...you really should go home and take it easy,this mornings event was to say the least shocking"..I went to protest,however _"but_..as your boss _,I insist_ you go home..now" Lennox had a determined look.

"that's a dirty move" giving my lips a twist,"I'm not made of glass,"I can handle it ya know"

"that I'm sure" Lennox now stood,"but I'll not have Thomas in my office having one of his.. _tantrums_ cause the mum of his child is stressed out and tearing him a new arse"

 "if it make ya feel better,I'll be there when ya tell him" Ken offered.

looking at both men I could see I wasn't going to win this one,heaving an irritated a sigh,damn these men and their archaic outlook on pregnant women.

 

I was thankful when we got home Tom was out,Ken guessed he was still feeding and watering the Cows,which worked in my favor,it gave me time to change my clothes and put on a pot of tea.

"I'm going ta use ya loo while ya get the tea going,though" Ken frowned,"I'm thinkin' somethin' stronger might be in order..then again the last thing Tom needs is whiskey"

with that said he trotted off to the bathroom,agreed..Tom didn't need that,but I sure could...but that was _a no_ for obvious reasons.I thought I heard Tom come in,then I was certain he did,wrinkling my nose the foul odor of Cow crap permeated the entire cottage.

 _"holy hell"_ covering my face with an arm,"did you roll in the shit too?"

jerking his head in my direction,his brows furrowed.

"Lily?"

 before I could say anything,he was in front of me,eyes flitting about,making sure I was alright I'm sure,his hands began probing,I pushed them away as fast as they did.

"Tom..stop,I'm fine, _damn"_

"why are you home?,you were only at work for few hours,Lennox wouldn't send you home unless..." straightening his posture he searched my face again, "something _is_ wrong,but not with the you or the baby"

looking over his shoulder I could see Ken now,a wary look on his face.

"Tom,why don't ya sit down,Lily has somethin' ta tell ya" he gestured to a chair.

At first Tom refused,but at my insistence he finally sat,looking at Ken and I  with uncertainty.

"I really don't know how to go about this...I'm still" shifting nervously now, the affect of having seen in the flesh for the first time since the attack,my rapist..was sinking in," trying to.."

gently patting my leg reassuringly Ken let me know he was there.

"I can do it if ya want?"

Tom watched us scowling now,I'm sure wondering just what in the fuck was going on,putting a hand on Kens arm.

"no..I can do this Ken"

turning my attention back to Tom whose demeanor now had switched from confusion and was now one of unease,leaning forward,listening carefully,his eyes had softened.

"somehow a patient referral was sent to Lennox,but only _half_ of it reached us,yesterday..today the court emailed the rest"

"court referral?" Tom straightened his posture.

"yes,Lennox gets them,you know that..but this one came from the High Court of Justiciary" my stomach began to feel sour, "this particular patient.. _Tom"_ I choked, tears formed an fell immediately _"was my rapist and he was there in the office"_

I never seen him move so fast as I did in that moment when he jumped to his feet,and the rage that was instantaneous as the darkening of his eyes,his fist balled up at his sides

_"the fuck?,why was I not called!?"_

his voice was not his own,I didn't like _this Tom_ and why now I could see Lennox had Vera call Ken instead.

"listen..I didn't even know it was him until..." now I stood,"I smelled _the Licorice_..it was from his Lolli he had when he came into the clinic,Lennox says he fancies them that's why I could smell it so strongly when he attacked me,and at the Pub"

reaching over he held my chin,making sure our eyes held.

"Lennox isn't treating him?"

"no..he made sure of that,he was pissed in fact when he discovered who he was"

"good,otherwise you would be not returning" Tom said firmly,releasing my chin we both now sat again,"I'm curious though...did this sack of shit have a name,the Police never told us and I know Clair obviously gave them one or he wouldn't of showed up in Lennox Clinic per Court order"

"Eli Shaw" I said flatly.

his brows furrowed significantly as he stared at me,tilting his head.

 _"Eli Shaw?_..short, dark blonde hair,blue eyes, about six foot,dare I say even a bit handsome,cheeky too,and he's English?"

how the hell did he know?

"why..yes,but" 

"you know him..don't ya boy" Ken sat back on the sofa arms folded,"maybe even ran with him back in the day?"

Tom looked away and was on his feet now,pacing.

"yes..to both questions" rubbing underneath his chin,"he's..Clair's cousin _not_..one of her _flings"_

now I was on my feet again,pissed and..repulsed,fighting the bile rising in my throat.

 _"you mean to tell me"_ pointing to myself,"that bitch had me violated by one of... _her own relatives!?"_

putting a hand to my belly I made my way to the kitchen as fast as my heavy expectant body would allow,once I reached the sink..I puked.

Tom and Ken were there instantly,one holding my hair aside and rubbing my back,the other preparing a glass of water,

all I could think about was the wretching I was doing in the sink,purging however I could the thoughts of someone actually having planned out my rape using one of their family members.. to carry such a monstrous act.

spitting out the last of the vomit,I took the wet  washrag Ken offered wiping my mouth,Tom looked at me,was it shame or sadness?

"Kitten..I wouldn't of even guessed it would of been him,sure..he had a wild side,so do I..but he" Tom shrugged,"Eli never went to the level where a girl felt he was going too far"

"seems for the right _price._.he'll do anything,probably fucking Lenora was included in the fee, for all we know" my tone harsh as I threw the wash rag into the sink,"and another thing...why was he even there?,he was sentenced,I thought he got five years,yet he waltzed into the clinic being all cheeky,no electronic monitor,no cuffs or member of law enforcement accompanying him"

 _"ya jokin?_..I didn't know that" Ken scowled,"I thought at least someone from the prison escorted him there"

"nope" shaking my head,"walked in like a free man" I said matter of factly.

 _"free man huh?_...I'm making a call"

with that said Tom stalked from the kitchen.

 

"I talked to his Parole officer just an hour ago,and I've been trying to figure out how to say anything to you and Lily ever since"

"Lennox.. _what!?..tell me"_

running a hand recklessly through my hair as I paced quickly outside the Cottage.

"Mister Shaw was sentenced to five years like Lily said...five years _on Parole.._ not in prison, as does Clair,Lenora oddly enough is the only one that is seeing prison time,nearly four years"

 _"the fuck kind of justice is that!?"_ I roared,"my girl was viciously attacked,violated.. our unborn child ripped from her body during said violation and _he..walks!?"_

"Thomas please..I know its asking a lot,but calm yourself,you and I both know what kind of temper you have and what you're capable of,...that isn't who you are anymore"

no..but I can feel _him_..coming back,if not seeping slowly into consciousness.

 _"I think then I need to do something I haven't done for awhile"_ I growled.

there was a short pause before he spoke.

"go for your run Thomas"

_"yeah..I think I will"_

"and Thomas"

"yes Lennox"

"stay away..from _that House"_

 

                                                                  _To be Continued..._


	3. Ghosts of Times Past

Summer rains were one of the best elements of weather to run in,particularly when one was starkers it also made it easier for me to concentrate on cleansing my head of the things I'd rather not have congesting it.

to be more precise, _thoughts of killing a motherfucker I once called friend._

I had passed the forests and Hot springs hours ago, at a dead run I was heading in a direction I knew I had pretty much promised not to go _,fuck it I go where I feel lead._ Stopping on a summit for a breather I surveyed where I had come from,the sky was blackened and flickers of lightning  darted randomly throughout the clouds,illuminating them.

smoothing a hand over my sweat/water laden hair,watching the long jagged streams of light as it occasionally would reach from the sky and dance haphazardly across the land,followed by a low rumble of thunder in the distance.

this...was perfect weather, _maybe the storm on the outside ..will quiet the storm inside of me..._ it worked in the past,however things were _different_ now..I have more to fight for, _this storm_ might not die down so easily.

As the winds started to pick up,the odor of rain and wet stench of earth wafted into my nose,a down pour was soon to come, I needed to find shelter and I knew where to go,not a welcoming place and it never would be...but it was all I had at the moment.

 

The clap of thunder overhead _nearly_ made me pee,okay maybe.. _a trickle_ ,but in my defense, I have a baby sitting on my bladder which doesn't help matters.

 _"by all that's holy!_ , what's got the Almighty's dander up that he gots ta shake the whole goddamn planet?" Ken snapped as he looked upward.

"it seems everyone is in _a mood_..not just an indistinct Deity, I can understand Tom's though" I sighed, "he's been gone a long time now and the weather is for shit an its not looking to get better Ken"

he made his way over to me,sitting down he looked as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if he could bring himself to do so.

"Lily..ya should know...he may not come home tonight"

"Ken,..if I've learned anything about that man,it's when something or someone is  _really_ eating at him,I just let Tom.. _do his thing,_ and with all this shit that suddenly has come up with..Eli, its better that Tom goes on his run than to go an do what I know would be...disastrous"

"he loves ya little girl,like I've never seen" taking my hand giving it a squeeze with a kiss,"an now ya going ta give him a wee girl like ya self...he has more reason ta be on this run hes on now,Tom won't risk losin' either one of ya...an ya just special enough ta understand why he does this nonsense of running..naked no less"

if Ken only know just _how much_ I understood...I still remember what _little_   information Lennox did give me on Tom's childhood or at least on his father,if I had childhood spent with a parent who was a psychopath...I'd do a hell of a lot more than running to deal with shit...I'd probably be institutionalized,or dead.

 _"weeell_ ,..I kinda like the..naked part" I winked.

Ken leisurely fell back against couch snickering,giving a slap to his knee.

"and I'm sure that ginger headed git _,delights_ in knowing this"

leaning back on the couch as well,I looked over at him arching a brow,rubbing my belly in a circular motion.

"and just.. _how_ do you think I got this way..hmm?"

we both erupted in bout of boisterous laughter.

 

Trudging through the slimy mud that was once a road now more of a path trying not to break my ass,I used memory and senses to direct me in the darkness,landmarks weren't as easily seen but I found them nonetheless.

 Rounding the bend of some overgrowth of familiar shrubbery,I knew the one recognizable landmark would be there..the huge rotting old tree stump, _damn_ _did that old decaying debris hold some fucked up memories.._.then again,this whole forest does,not just the dead leavings of nature,there was also the House _..especially..the House._

of course now,like the old tree stump even the House is just dead leavings itself,a tall decomposing unholy structure for what in my mind it represented.. damnation.

nearing the wretched structure,I balked.

 _"the fuck?"_ crouching down as I neared,..a soft flickering glow was coming from inside the House _,"can't be..a transient,this place is too far from....everywhere,my father made sure of that"_

thankful for the wet sloshy earth beneath and the wind around me to silence my approach,still at a crouch I made my way closer,only to stop once more as a shadow obstructed the light briefly through the window.

 _Ghosts?..now that was a ridiculous thought,are you that fucking thick Tom?,_ shaking my head,Ghost don't need light,or give off shadows from it..do they?

Up against the House beside the window above me,I now could clearly hear feet shuffling about inside..definitely _not_..a Ghost,grateful for my height,I was able to peer in just above the ledge of the grimy window.

at first nothing,just what looked to be a small makeshift campfire made out of rocks and leftover items from inside the house,hearing the footsteps again nearing,I quickly lowered myself,when they ceased,I took the chance and looked back up slowly.

 I wish I hadn't,the person's frame silhouetted against the fire sent a flurry if not flashes of memories,that brought on a sickness that swiftly twisted in my stomach.

 _I need to get the fuck out of here cause there is no way in hell this happening,I am not seeing this..._ it can't be, _there's no way._..its a trick of my own mind,yeah that's what it is,all this shit with Eli has really fucked with my head,hence why I went on my run in the first place.

_then why is..HE standing in that shit hole you use to call home?..you know who...its not like you could ever forget the sonofabitch!_

It must been what nearly.. twenty five years?..shit,yeah I think it was,observing my surroundings,it had been that long since I found myself curled up in a cave seeking refuge from the elements and other _effects_ that could inflict damage,Dawn had made its presence,though it could only peek through the still angry clouds,in the distance another cloud but more of a welcoming kind ...steam from the Hot Springs drifting upward,yes I certainly would make use of that.

 

Opening the bedroom door slowly,just a crack I was relieved to see Lily still asleep,wondering if she was pissed off that I hadn't returned last night,couldn't blame her if she was.

carefully sitting on the edge of the bed,watching her sleep,my eyes wandered down to her swollen belly,my mouth gave way to an immense smile,smoothing a hand across it only to be greeted with a light _"thump"_ against my hand.

 _"good morning my little darling"_ I whispered adding a feathery kiss.

Eithne responded by continuing her little activities within her mum's stomach,causing her to shift a bit,hmm it's still a bit early don't think it would be wise to wake up Mummy,especially if she might be. _.in a mood,_ concerning me.

Fresh from a shower,towel drying my chest I entered the bedroom noticing the bed was now empty.

uh oh.

please Kitten,I really needed to purge and to distance myself.. _though what I stumbled upon in doing so pretty much defeated the purpose._

"oh good you're done..I need to pee"

brushing by me quickly,Lily gave a gentle push and disappeared into the loo,shutting the door,well...that wasn't exactly the greeting I was expecting,testing where I stood with her as far as if I was too sleep on the couch tonight or not.. I tapped on the door.

"I can hear you tinkling"

"really Tom?..you go on an overnight run,come home in the early hours to invade my privacy while I'm on the toilet just to tell me you can hear me piss?... _ugh,go away"_

_ehehehehehe,I can picture her rolling her eyes._

when she exited the loo,Lily looked at me her lips were at a twist,arms folded,hmm..yeah I'm seeing that the couch is looking more like where I'll be sleeping tonight.. _.dammit._

"hi baby" giving a little wave.

"uh huh,don't be making it a habit of listening in on me when I'm going to the bathroom,..that's  just a peculiarity among some of yours I won't put up with"

"just so you know...that was the first time,its not something I do..I missed you,just wanted to let you know that" okay it was weak,but I had to try.

"so listening to me pee,then telling me..was your way of doing that?" it was a doubtful look,"there are better ways Tom"

"I love you"

heaving a sigh she shook her head,walking away.

"c'mon let me fix you breakfast before I have to use the bathroom again, knowing you.. you'll just hang outside an tell me you heard me fart"

 _"ehehehehehehe,that's nasty Lily!"_ I called after her.

"take a look in the mirror!" she shot back.

Eating the rather large an yes delicious breakfast before me,Lily I noticed was only eating a muffin with jelly,..something wasn't right.

"you're not eating with me?"

"yes I am" she held up the muffin"see"

"that's hardly a meal,what's wrong?" putting my fork down, "is it the baby?"

"nothings wrong,I'm just not very hungry right now,it does happen you know...just because I look like a cow doesn't mean I have to eat like one"

"you don't look like a cow,you're pregnant,so stop it Lily"

"I feel like one..and I'm not even full term" she cradled her belly,looking over at me,wearing a weak smile."so..did your run help you any?"

my run?..oh yes that..shit,I really need to forget what happened out there,I refuse to believe I saw what I did,it was..was _,damn_ what was that term Lennox used when I was in Therapy.. _a figment of my imagination,_ that's it!!,that is exactly what it was.

"it was not as..productive as I hope" looking towards the kitchen window,"that's why it took so long to come back,I was hoping the longer I was out..that at one point the..urge would go away eventually"

"did it?..the urge I mean,did it go away?"

I remained looking out the window,there was no way I could look her in the eye,to let her see the rage that still lingered there.

"no"

 

I waited until Tom crashed and he did not long after we ate breakfast,once he laid on the bed he was _out_ ,so I took the opportunity to contact Kate to see if maybe she'd like to go into town,I was still feeling out of sorts from my encounter with Eli at Lennox's office,but staying at the Cottage only made me feel like climbing the walls and I refused to feel like a prisoner in my own home.

but before Kate came over I walked up to Ken's place,I really had a need to talk to him,since Tom's return,yes he seemed in good spirits at first,but when I mentioned how his run went...things just kinda went south after that,his demeanor notably so.

"hey little Mum,an how are ya an the wee lass?" 

"uh well,shes fine..mum however feels like a cow" I grimaced.

"well..ya sure don't look like one" he chuckled offering me a glass of juice,

taking it I frowned..men know so little.

"the Doctor says shes about two maybe three pounds that doesn't include my uterus the bag of water shes floating in, the blood and a bunch of other crap I'm sure you'd rather not hear about" giving him a sarcastic smile."isn't gestation grand?"

"eh..no wonder its the woman who bares the fruit" he wrinkled his nose,"sounds like a pain in the arse,somethin' a man would probably bitch about"

"got that right" 

drinking the last of the juice,I sat the glass down.

"so..did Tom ever make it back?"

hmm,change of subject,smart man Ken,of course _baby talk_ I'm sure isn't high on your list.

"yes.. _early_ ,I'd say about five or six a.m "

"that early?" he scratched at his head,"must of got it out of his system earlier than I thought he would"

"not really"

"what?" his eyes narrowing.

"Ken..he's still seeing red about Eli,not that any amount of.. _running_ was going to erase that,maybe calm him a bit,but by no means sate his appetite to... _clean house_ as it were"

"true...there are some things,that this practice he created long ago.. cannot reconcile,I'm not sure what will happen because of it...and it worries me Lily" 

turning his gaze over at me,I don't think I've ever seen him look so troubled,perhaps it was from old fears knowing what Tom was capable of,afraid to see that it may resurface.

or maybe it was something entirely different?..and why now does Lennox words come flooding back?, _."I'm afraid of what he may do..which is what scares me,..I don't know,he could simply get pissed,or go in another direction,one I do not wish to think about"_ and this was concerning Lenora and what she had said to me in the Pub...then in regards to Tom's father, _"if you were to ask me as a professional,I'd simply tell you the man was a Psychopath"_

with this information suddenly dominating my thoughts, my eyes widened as something did occur to me.

_was Ken thinking that somewhere along the line that Tom...would be like his father?,and all it would take was an event that Tom couldn't control to..trigger it?_

_was that even..possible?_

 

_To be Continued..._


	4. Ghosts of Times Past

"I'm glad you called me Thomas..I admit,I was a bit concerned when I encouraged you to go on one of your _"runs"_ which normally I wouldn't be,I find it to be therapeutic,healthy for what best suits you" Lennox sighed "however,the nudity" chuckling now as he shook his head,"that I'll never understand completely"

sitting across from him,I could only nod,not many people did understand _the_ _naked_ aspect of my sometimes long binges of running ,I think maybe Lily does,but I wasn't sure.

"why the concern?"

"to be honest...I'm not sure,whether it was thinking it wouldn't be enough to expunge the feelings of..well I'm assuming,to do harm to Mister Shaw" he was watching me now,in that way he use to when I was a boy,when he thought I was in an unpredictable mood,"or...you would forego the run and just go after him straightaway"

leaning back in the booth we were sitting in,staring at the untouched bottle of Guinness in front of me.

"it wasn't enough..the run that is,and no I didn't go after him either.. _obviously_ or this conversation would be taking place somewhere else"

"and this only proves how much you have matured Thomas,you should be pleased with yourself,the Thomas I knew and from what I've heard,only but a year or so ago.. would of never paid any attention to the consequences,let alone the Laws you would of been breaking"

leaning on the table eyeing him.

 _"that_ Thomas..had nothing to lose,but things have changed,making the stakes higher now and I'll do _anything_ to protect what I have,doesn't that make me even worse?"

"only if you go about it the wrong way" Lennox pointed at me,"don't let that angry/scared boy get in the way Thomas,stand up to him,and show the grown man that you are,..is in control"

here we go with the Therapist mumbo jumbo..fuck.

"hmm,yeah..that angry/scared boy disappeared long ago Lennox why do you think I go running?,...tell me,what do I do when the running no longer becomes,how'd you put it.. _therapeutic?,..._ this bullshit with Eli,..he's on parole for a crime that in Lily's country,he'd at least see some prison time...who's ass is being kissed that's what I want to know?"

"you think he's been shown favoritism?"

"oh _I KNOW_ he has" I snapped,"who does the shit he has done to my Lily and spends no time behind bars?" leaning in further on the table now,"I get caught letting cattle loose and I spend three weeks behind bars and a month probation Lennox,and then there's Clair...is it cause shes pregnant?,so what..she's an accomplice,that witch hired him for Lenora to rape my girl for fucks sakes,...interesting that the two that seem to be shown favor are related,don't you think?"

Lennox sat back,looking at me contemplatively,his Doctor face was showing.

"you've given this some thought,the run you went on...more productive than you probably realize"

"if I have to Lennox...Lily and my baby" now standing up,"will go elsewhere,I won't live anywhere that sonofabitch is running loose, unpunished..so yes..I guess I it was productive now that I think of it"

 

The tickling of his whiskers across the back of my neck was always a weakness,his lips tenderly playing over my skin,and I knew it was coming the instant I felt my hair was gently pulled up to one side.

 _"know that I love you,Lily"_ he whispered.

"of course"

"I'll not let anything,nor anyone hurt you or Eithne"

making a half turn,eyeing him with concern..he was letting this situation with Eli get to him,I could tell it was starting to fester.

"I know that Tom,you're a good man,and this baby and myself won't have to want for protection,that's never crossed my mind" making a full turn, I now saw the determination all over him,"don't let what's going on,and you know what I'm talking about..get to you"

"how can I not Lily?,a person I once called friend...committed a depraved act against you,and took more from you than just your sense of security,and for what?...the fucker is out there,paying no penalty" his jaw clenching.

I needed to calm this potential tempest before it got out of hand,and it became more of the unmanageable  animal I knew he could be.

"Tom,lets not dwell on this anymore,its not healthy for either one of us for many reasons"

reaching up I ran my fingertips through his chin whiskers tenderly,the more I caressed his chin,it seem to soothe him an I watched the anger leave him in one simple sigh of breath,even his shoulders slackened.

 _"how do you do that?"_  

his head dropping back, eyes closed now,to me it resembled a big Lion being placated with loving scratches and rubs under the chin,goodness knows he had the hair on the chin for it.

"call it..a mothers touch,I don't know" I shrugged,"maybe I just know how to quiet the beast within"

_"ehehehehe"_

"that's a better sound to hear out of you"

taking my hand,kissing it,his eyes now met with mine.

"I'll call it _my woman's touch_..you always seem to know how to take the fire out of me when it's necessary,and.. _ignite it.._ " he kissed the top of my hand,sucking on the knuckles before parting,staring at me,"most intensely"

"then I wind up looking like a human Watermelon"  I added jokingly.

"but you are a _beautiful_ Watermelon"

giving him the _"you can't be fucking serious"_ stare,I decided to give him a bad time.

"oh..so you agree..I'm fat" it was mock dirty look,but I don't think he quite caught on.

his eyes widened,realizing he had caught himself in a faux pas,I loved watching his reaction whenever he was . _.busted._

"umm,I _weell_..what mean Kitten is..that is.."

"what's he stumblin' on his words for?" Ken happened to walk in on it "c'mon boy this ought ta be good" 

Tom groaned shaking his head,he knew this was a lost cause.

"piss off Ken"

"evidently Tom agrees that I look like a Watermelon"

throwing his arms up in defeat,Tom was now growling,giving me a silly version of the stink eye,I couldn't help but giggle.

"ya know that's a good way ta find ya self on the couch boy..or worse"

"what part of piss off didn't you get Ken?"

"I dunno,I wasn't payin' attention" he snickered,stealing a glance over to me only to wink.

"remind me to never leave my daughter with you for long periods of time Ken,I have a feeling you'll only turn her against me and she'll acquire a rank potty mouth as well"

"bollocks..she'll acquire _the mouth_ from her father" Ken pointed an accusing finger at Tom,"I bet me farm on that one"

"ehehehehe..maybe,but I'm thinking" he shielded his mouth, _"that honor goes to her mum"_

_"I heard that!"_

Tom looked over just in time to have a throw pillow collide with his face.

 

Here we were at month eight..or as Tom put it _"we are near the home stretch Kitten"_ and according to the Doctor,Eithne is a little over five pounds,but not quite eighteen inches long,Tom thought that was cute in that she was probably going to be short like me. _.damn,here we go._.. _bring on the short jokes._

and the crappy thing wasn't so much that Tom pestered me about how tiny our daughter was going to be...but how BIG I had become,when he thought I wasn't in earshot he'd giggle about how _"lovely an round I was"_ to whoever was around,usually Ken or Kate _..what-an-asshole._

The downside to all of this was...Rory had informed Tom and I that Clair had her baby...a healthy Boy,which she _still_ professed it was Tom's,but of course according to Rory's source looked nothing like Tom which went along with the paternity test that confirmed this.

it really didn't concern us,people who _knew her_ and Tom _,_ knew...it _was not_ Tom's son,and easily brushed off the rumors as soon as they heard them,and was well aware who really was carrying his baby and were enthusiastic about it.

Tom at one point had sat down with me for a _one on one_ about the possibility of Clair who at some point would be in town parading her son around bragging about the child being his,despite the fact people knew differently.

I wasn't  worried,Clair could make a scene..but so could I if pushed hard enough,I would let everyone know just what a desperate _convicted felon_ she was,who with her rapist cousin had their asses kissed so they didn't have to do time...yes,  _I would go that far._

Tom wasn't so keen on that idea, _and he tattled on me!,_ Lennox found out and gently scolded me on  _keeping a stiff upper lip..._ bullshit! _,_ if that slag and her degenerate cousin can roam free with a slap on the hand,and she decides to go around liberally flapping her lip about shit that isn't true about who fathered her child.. _.you can bet your ass I'm going to say something._

 

"Kate..have you seen Lily?"

the white haired woman looked about the room,observing her surroundings.

""I'm thinkin' she be around here somewhere,Lily been bustlin' about as of late" a big smile grew "shes nestin' ya know"

arching a brow giving her a funny look,sometimes this woman came up with the weirdest shit.

"shes what?"

"ah Thomas" patting my cheek lightly as if I were a silly boy,"ya have a lot ta learn,it simply means shes preparin' for the baby..its an old wives tale that goes once a woman begins doin' that..well she'll go into labor not long after"

"Lily has five weeks left before that happens,I doubt Eithne has ideas of arriving just yet" I corrected.

chuckling,Kate shook her head as she now sat down drinking some tea.

"oh my dear Thomas, ya really do have _a lot_ ta learn about babies" setting her cup down,"wee ones show up when _they_ want ta..not necessarily when ya expect them" 

"that I knew,Doctor said as much" joining her now for some tea,"but its best Eithne stays in longer"

"hmm,well we'll see what wee Miss Eithne has ta say about that" Kate winked,"I noticed how our Lily has been,and there is somethin' ta this nestin' business Tom,ya will see"

our conversation was cut short when Lily did suddenly enter the room looking tired,like she had been working.

"well,I dusted the nursery,wiped down the window sills,changed the crib linens,set up and arranged the changing table..all the baby's diapers and wipes accordingly,made up the day bed.. _hmm_ and now I think I'll tackle this living area" her brows furrowed looking around the room,"it needs it"

Kate smirked over her cup as she looked at me... _shit,maybe she was right._

"Lily,the living room is fine,darling why don't ya get out of the house fer awhile..say..go into ta town with me?,I needs ta get me some things anyways" Kate offered,"Tom ya welcome ta join us"

 

I noticed Lily was a bit fidgety,shifting about in the car,I was hoping it wasn't contractions,when I asked about it she only brushed it off as a mixture of the baby sitting on her internal organs and feeling bloated..I had to admit I really did feel awful,her tiny frame carrying all of that weight.

Oddly enough we found ourselves going in separate directions,Kate went to get some groceries,Tom said he wanted to go look into some other shops...after telling him I'd be fine on my own... _make that practically begging him to fuck off,_ he went off on his own.

I found myself going into Rory's Pub.. _damn my appetite_ ,like I don't have enough of a load in front of me without adding to it,but one of his Deli sandwiches sounded really good right now. _  
_

"ah..Miss Lily,ya lookin' like that time is about ta arrive" Rory greeted warmly upon seeing my fat ass waddle slowly towards the bar.

smiling weakly,I gave a wave trying my best to sit on a bar stool...this was a joke,and had to be comical to those watching.

"its not arriving soon enough" I groaned adjusting myself trying to get comfortable on the stool.

"wheres Tom,I half expectin' him ta be here,at least where ya is concerned"

"oh he's here in town,shopping,I chased him off..thought I'd come in here and get a sandwich"

throwing a towel over his shoulder,as he leaned on the bar.

"sure,love..what ya have in mind?"

"breakfast sandwich will do"

"alright, one breakfast sandwich for the mum coming up" he grinned before walking off.

Quietly eating my sandwich,with Rory who I noticed..was advertently watching me as he went about his tasks,a courtesy I'm sure out of his friendship for Tom.

it was when Rory disappeared in the back that his timing couldn't have been the worst,I was in the middle of taking a bite when a voice I was very acquainted with came from.. _beside me._

cheeky and lively in manner...there was _no way_ ,my body froze instantly, _no no no,now wasn't the time for that shit to happen._

"hey Rory!,..where are you mate?" he tapped rapidly on the counter.

 _oh god no,_ slowly looking out of the corner of my eye,he had caught sight of it,propping an elbow on the bar he leaned his head on his hand,looking at me,observing.

_fuck off you parasite,go away._

"don't I know you?"

remaining silent I averted my eyes,staring forward now, _goddamn it Rory get out here..now!_

"yes..I think _I do"_ there was a cheeriness to his tone,he poked my shoulder."you.."

jerking my head towards him,my eyes wide,the anger at his audacity.

 _"you'll do well to keep your fucking hands off me..."_ I hissed, _"you've touched me enough..don't you think?"_

"oh fucking Christ!" it was Rory,before I knew it he was in front of us,"Shaw..you need ta leave"

he pointed to the exit.

"the bloody hell is up with you Rory?..I came in here for a drink"

"and I have the right ta deny ya one,get the fuck outta me Pub, _before I put ya out on ya arse"_ he growled.

it was a brief staring match,before Eli turned on his stool,but not before he looked at me directly.

"yeah,I do remember you darling" he wore a crooked smile,leaning in a little he whispered, _"memory serves me correctly..you were quite a good fuck"_

disgust _wasn't even_ close,the next thing I knew,I had drawn back and cracked him across the cheek with my fist as hard as I could, catching him off balance sending Eli backwards off his bar stool,landing onto the floor, flat on his back where he laid unmoving.

 _"who in the fuck do you think you...oh!"_ doubling over,grabbing at my stomach,I looked up, _"Rory!"_

 

_To be Continued...._


	5. Ghosts of Times Past

It was the sirens that brought me out of the jewelry store,where I had earlier in the month special ordered a gift,everything up to now had been _about the baby_ ,but I wanted something for the Mum,so I had a little white velvet box tucked away in my jacket pocket in it,a dainty sterling silver necklace two conjoined silver lily flowers,one smaller than the other, with 6mm fresh water pearls nestled inside each petal,representing my two girls.

Looking down the street I could see a gathering of people and what looked to be an ambulance an police cars parked by..Rory's Pub?.. _a bit early for a brawl,and it's only Thursday,_ walking a bit further for a closer look I was surprised when I saw a white faced Rory jogging towards me.

_"mate.!..where have ya been?!"_

looking passed him I saw the ambulance make a turn and headed towards me,sirens back on as it sped by, _..why did I suddenly get a sick feeling?_

coming up on me,I searched Rory's face..he didn't look good.

"what's going on?,why is the police and ambu-"

putting both hands up,I shut up instantly,

"Mate" he now pointed towards where the ambulance had went,"that was Lily..she went into Labor"

"WHAT!"

_"woah!"_ he grabbed my arm,"shes fine..all things considered"

"all things..what?..what do you.." narrowing my eyes I saw the police putting someone in the car in cuffs... _ELI!, "that sonofabitch!"_

bolting Rory caught me with his full body.

_"no Tom.!."_ he whispered hurriedly, _"that wanker isn't worth it"_ but I pushed hard against him,trying my damnedest to get past him _,"listen ya hard headed fuck,I've dealt with it,right now ya needs ta get ta the Hospital"_ looking at him his face like stone, _"ya girl needs ya..ya going ta be father..go!"_ he pointed to where the ambulance had went.

 

Last time I was in this very A&E it was a _less than_ desirable situation,now I was pacing the lobby for an entirely different reason,but this time I had Kate with me who I let do the talking with the Nurse,the mood I was in I just may of throttled me a bitch if she got the slightest bit nasty with me,and it wasn't even the same Nurse.

"Tom"

turning around quickly,she approached me smiling.

"is she okay?,is the baby?-"

"Tom..their both alright..shes over at NHS getting prepared for emergency delivery"

_"emergency delivery?"_

"calm ya self..,the baby is early,so they have ta take precautions,c'mon lets go up ta the ward shes on an wait"

Once we had arrived and notified the nursing staff of our relationship to Lily we were directed to the wing where she would be assigned once she was out of delivery,something..sadly I would not be aloud to attend,Kate took great pains in trying to comfort me,I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me..it hurt,Lily and I together made this baby and together we should bring her into the world,but I had learned long ago..there was a lot of things in life that just _.. wasn't fair._

A half hour had past when a older Nurse came bustling her way towards us,beaming ear to ear.

"ya must be Tom and Kate" her smile warm now,"I'm Agnes,but everyone calls me Aggie"

"hello..um..is..is it about Lily,the baby?" I was standing,"are they okay?.." 

dammit this waiting was the shits,and was having my fill of it.

"well" she grinned,"if ya referrin' ta Mum and all five pounds of that precious wee daughter of yours..then yes"

"five pounds?..wait..you mean..shes.."

"aye..just a moment ago,ya Lily _insisted_ someone go an tell ya immediately" she snickered,"fiery cuss she is and that wee lass came into the world announcin' her arrival let me tell ya..not sure if its her mum she got it from..or" she gave me a side long glance with amusement.

Kate was on her feet,smiling a broadly as did the nurse.

"well I'm thinkin' she gets it from a bit of both,this here lad can be a mouthy git when he wants ta be..which is often"

cheerfully both women chuckled, _great_..my child has _just_ been born and already I'm the butt of a joke.

Agnes brought us to Lily's recovery room,and shortly after that she was wheeled in already siting up.

_"kitten"_

 "did you see her?"

the look as was her words,emphatic.

"no..not yet" kissing her, gently she pushed away,her expression a bit on the miffed side,"why not?..didn't _they_ let you?"

she gave the two male nurses who were lowering her to her bed a shitty look.. _woah,mummy mode is on full blast._

_"darling,calm down"_ I whispered trying to quiet her.

"no I won't..you're the father,you should of been brought to see her,the fuck is with that?"

the two Nurses looked at one another,probably wondering if they should speak or just get the hell out?..I vote just get the hell out, _ehehehehehe._

"I believe someone wants ta meet her daddy"

_saved by Aggie._

walking in the nurse made her way to me with what hardly looked like anything bundled in her arms,gently she deposited a pink blanket,in it. _..the tiniest_ most extraordinary and exquisite sight I ever saw...my daughter,Aggie pulled the little stocking cap off Eithne,exposing a descent head of golden brown hair.

I could only stare at the slumbering pink creature in my arms,with her perfect button nose,and lips,slightly chubby cheeks,..looking up at Lily,I was close to tears... _not in front of everyone._

_"we made this"_

giggling,she nodded watching me,Lily seem to enjoy it.

"yes we did Tom"

then the tears did come,as I quietly started to sway her in my arms,never in my lifetime did I think this would happen to me,nor did I believe I deserved too.

"an ya both did a beautiful job" Aggie gave a nod "ifn' ya don't mind me sayin'?"

I didn't mind at all,in fact I totally agreed,but then again.. I was biased,I was becoming consumed with my daughter just staring at her,taking in her head of hair,the subtle wrinkling of her forehead,pursing of the pouty lips she got from her mum and her smell...um..no,that wasn't..no..baby lotion that was not.

looking up at Lily,her face grew concerned.

"what is it..something wrong Tom?" she sat up straighter.

"um..she stinks" I grimaced wrinkling my nose.

I heard a snort from behind me then laughter erupting from not one but two women..no now three,Lily had her head back on the pillow laughing.

"aw _so sweet_ Tom" Lily giggled,"Eithne saved her first poop for you"

lovely,my daughter. _.crapped_ for me and everyone's happy about it.. _naturally,_ looking back at Eithne, her little mouth opened to a yawn. 

"hmm,well,if someone will hand me a nappy an wipes,I'll clean her up before she realizes her little bum is dirty,if she's anything like her mum when she gets pissed..ack"

Lily frowned,but not before sticking her tongue out at me.

"aye,now that's what I like ta hear" Aggie said as she went about getting things set up on the foot of Lily's bed,"not many fathers are willin' ta change a dirty bum,let alone their daughters,ya's a good one Tom" she praised.

I didn't know whether to laugh or just enjoy the sight before me,Eithne was quietly and contently nursing at my breast,Tom however was watching this closely,like he was in awe of this scene taking place before him,and perhaps he was.

"so...what do you think?"

"huh?..oh" looking up at me,"I love her" his tone serious,"shes amazing Lily,I still cannot believe shes ours"

"me neither"smiling as my finger tips lightly played with her hair,"I have so many emotions running through me,hormones I guess" I shrugged,"I just know shes perfect"

"thank you"

looking back at him,his face softened,like he was going to cry again.

"for what?"

"her" glancing back at Eithne,"and for..putting up with me enough to bring such a gift into my life"

"it wasn't easy..but worth it" 

"ehehehehehe...yes,I guess I'm not the easiest man to deal with"

"ya's a big arsehole and I should know"

looking up at the doorway stood Ken grinning,holding a ridiculous amount of balloons and a flower arrangment.

"Ken" I motioned him in,preparing to show him Eithne.

_"Lily?"_ Tom tossed a blanket over the baby,"did you forget your manners?"

_"oh my god Tom,_ like I'm going sit here with my boob hanging out for Ken to see"

Ken's eyes widened at that remark.

"um ya,not interested in seein' _that"_

pulling the covers back,taking precautions that my breast was a "no show" I gently detatch Eithne from my nipple,which oddly enough proved to be a bit difficult,little critter had no intentions of letting go.

"uh.. _ack,_ c'mon" damn that shit hurts.

"problem?"

looking up over the cover at Tom,frowning.

"your daughter is having issues with being separated from her food source"

"ehehehehehe,she likes the tit"

_"hmm,so does someone else I know"_ I mumbled.

once removed,it took only seconds and Eithne let me know just how she felt about that,it started out as a pitiful sniffling and grew into a wail.. _Jesus Christ she has some lungs._

Tom's eyes enlarged,his mouth slightly agape.

"wow. _.shes pissed"_

 

First day home and Tom like to have driven me mad, he hovered over Eithne and I like we were made of fine china,I was close to clocking him,but I settled for just giving his chin whiskers a descent tug.

_"ow fuck!"_

"chill the hell out.. _dad"_ I scolded,"or next time.. it'll be your dick"

looking down at his crotch then back up at me,he gave a lopsided frown.

"normally I'd take that as a challenge,but somehow... _I'm not_ up for this one"

"you're getting smarter" grinning as I walked away.

"I guess,.. _ever think I just like my dick more!"_ he called after me.

Ken walked in with the rest of my things from the hospital,I hadn't realized how much crap I acquired.

"this is the last of it" he peered around a large flower arrangement of pink roses, hydrangea, freesia and other mixed seasonal flowers lying in a white metal, moss-lined life sized baby carriage. "damn shrink couldn't just send ya pink roses,had ta out do everyone..old git"

snickering,I had to admit,it was.. _. extravagant_ ,but I figured he was just very proud and happy for us,especially Tom.

"thanks Ken,..why don't you have a seat I'll make us some tea"

"oh lass,don't trouble ya self,I can do it" smiling as he looked at Eithne sleeping in my arms.

"I'd let her do it" Tom warned as his head peered from the kitchen,"she already yanked my beard and threatened my dick,hard telling what she would do to you"

Ken snickered,biting his lip.

"well,ya probably had it coming..besides,that prick of yers has already gotten a workout,puttin' it ta rest wouldn't hurt it none"

attempting to stifle a laugh that came out as a sputter,startling Eithne,her little arms shot up,fists waving about stiffly,eyes opened wide and....

_"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"_

shit.

Tom took this opportunity to be a wanker,walking over taking the fussy baby from me,cradling her in his arms.

_"oooh,what's the matter darling?"_ he cooed in a baby voice, _"did mummy piss you off?,that wasn't very nice..was it?_

_dickhead._

"lest you forget _..daddy,_ I'm the parent with _the goods"_ giving my boobs a slight shake,"if you really think you have a chance of swaying her to your side.. _good luck"_

turning his back to me Tom looked over his shoulder at me with a raised brow.

"I'll make a daddy's girl out of her yet.. _with or without tits"_

rolling my eyes I headed for the kitchen,even as a father he was still such a child.

"still want some tea Ken?"

"aye sounds good,and on ya way back ya might want ta bring an extra nappy for the big baby ya left in here"

my laughter could be heard from the kitchen,and some rather disgruntled remarks coming from the living area I knew had to be from Tom.

Lying on the bed I watched as Lily quietly with facination traced a fingertip over Eithne's tiny lips as she slept soundly,motherhood suited her,she was loving,protectived,attentive all those things a mum should be.

"Kitten"

_"mmm?"_

she never took her eyes off the baby... _ehehehehe,_ I think I have competition,oh well I don't mind.

"uh..I have something for you"

looking up with a tilt of her head,curiously her eyes narrowed.

"what is it?"

"well,I was hoping to give it to you before Eithne was born,but.." looking at down at the baby as she stirred a bit, I smiled,"this is much better I think"

reaching behind me,I then presented her with the small white velvet box,Lily stared at it,then looked over at me.

"Tom?"

"just open it"

taking the box,she slowly opened it,her eyes widened a bit,looking back at me.

"two Lilies"

"they represent you and the baby,the one that is smaller than the other,that's Eithne,the Pearls I was told are Known for protection and their calming effect, they can balance one's karma, strengthen relationships, and keep children safe and is also said to symbolize the purity, generosity, integrity, and loyalty of its wearer"

"you put a lot of thought into this Tom..its beautiful" her eyes were brimming," I..I don't know what to say" her voice began to crack.

taking her by the chin,kissing her lightly on the mouth,parting only inches from her face.

_"you gave me Eithne...that says I love you and..more"_

 

_To be Continued_

Meet  Eithne...(Pronounced _Enya)_

__

_Photo credit/source- https://img0.etsystatic.com/129/0/5145222/il_340x270.922825176_jyrl.jpg_


	6. Ghosts of Times Past

Waking up I noticed there was a slight chill,I also noticed I was alone...Tom's side of the bed was empty,rolling on my back a grin spread across my face,I bet my inheritance he was curled up on the daybed in the Nursery with a certain little bundle.

yawning I sleepily made my way to the Nursery,once there I discovered it was empty,and the daybed untouched...what the?

concerned I walked out into the living area where the only thing to be heard was the crackling of a roaring fire in the woodstove,looking out a window I discovered why the need for the fire...Snow.

"oh boy"

but the cottage was quiet,looking around thoughtfully,wondering just where in the hell my child and her father were,then an idea hit it me..oh _hell_ no!..he wasn't thick enough to take her out in the snow..was he?..groaning, _I knew he was._

Dressed up for the weather,I headed outside,but I didn't have to go far,Tom was.. _sitting_ in the snow holding Eithne who thankfully was dressed in a quilted snowsuit with the hood up,he was ....building a little snowman. _.oh my god._

"your ass will freeze to the ground ya know"

jerking his head around and up,a sudden toothy smile appeared.

"I'm building a snowman with Eithne!"

god he was too cute at this moment,and at the same time my heart physically ached...something told me his childhood had been  _so_ shitty that he was going to reconcile that by making Eithne's as incredible an full as possible,starting.. _now,_ paying no mind that she was only days old.

"I see..and how does our Daughter feel about that?"looking down at Eithne whose face I could barely see,the faux white fur around the hood framing her face,obscured it,raising a brow I knew how Eithne must feel by now "cause she seems fascinated daddy"

looking down at her then up at me,he started pleading his case.

"earlier she was enjoying it Lily,I think she even smiled"

 _"it was gas_ ,I can assure you,once you come in the house just check her nappy and you'll see what I mean"

scowling at me as if I was full of it,he lifted Eithne up and of all things placed her butt just inches above his face, _sniffing._

"no"

"layers of clothing can sometimes hide it,trust me"

We went back inside just in time,the flurries of snow had gotten thicker and the chill,bitter.. by now Eithne had been changed and was currently nursing,I took advantage of the nook in the Nursery Ken had made and grabbed a  book,relaxed as she went about it.

"thought I might find ya two in here"

looking over to see Kate who was standing in the doorway,gesturing for her to come in,she did so.

"what are you doing out in this crappy weather?,its not fit for traveling of any kind"

taking a seat next to me,her attention naturally went to the baby.

"for that wee bundle I'll trek through whatever shite the Scottish weather has ta throw at me,besides its not that bad, not really stickin further down the road where I'm at,just wait until next month'"

Eithne managed to unintentionally separate herself from my nipple, I was just in time to watch her have a bit of skirmish with it _*snort*_ eyes closed,but her little head was bobbing about,mouth open,I saw it as a matter of _she was_   _in hopes that nipple and little hole under the nose would meet,_ so far no success and her little face soon scrunched up,turned red, picking her up as I knew those pair of lungs were about to be put to good use.

_"oh no no no missy"_

her eyes opened slightly,her fit thwarted,I handed her over to Kate, who started walking around the Nursery baby talking,cooing to Eithne,and managing to get some babbling and gurgles out of her.

"how'd you do that?" feeling a bit left out.

"do what?"

"get my Daughter to respond to you,I try..an she just whimpers,as I see it I'm just the Lady with the boobs,as for Tom...she just stares blankly at him"

"eh..not sure,guess cause she sees ya often,figures ya just a means ta an end,as fer Tom?...sometimes even I stare at him blankly meself" she snickered.

_funny Kate._

"well, _that_ explains everything" the sarcasm was clear,folding my arms.

"ya know...since ya had the wee lass ya been house bound Lily,why don't ya get out once an awhile..like today"

 _really.._ of all days.

"if you haven't noticed.. _it's snowing_ Kate,not exactly picnic weather,or the kind to take a newborn out in"

"ppfftt. _.if ya hadn't noticed.._.it stopped an the sun startin' ta peek outta the clouds" she gave a nod towards the window.

glancing over,it was in fact clearing up outside. _.great_ ,now she was really going to give me shit.

"okay so it stopped...but there still is snow outside,its cold,and the snow could start up again"

 _there._.I plead my case and it was solid.

"and ya such a paranoid new mum,ya gots a long list of rubbish already ta throw at me" she scolded,"so ya can stow it let's get going,lunch is on me"

goddamn woman,and I thought I was stubborn.

 

When we entered Town I knew the note I left for Tom would not sit well with him,and upon my return I would be dealing with all levels of _pissy._

looking to my right I noticed we had parked in front of Rory's Pub,that's when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder,what was Kate up too?

"I'm sure ya must be feelin' all sorts of trepidation Lily,but...last I was here Rory was beside himself with worry,thinkin' ya never come back"

last time I was here I was confronted with my rapist throwing me into early labor,trepidation?. _.ppfft_ ,that was putting it lightly.

"you planned this you sneaky ol' biddy,ever since you showed up at the house"

Kate shrugged,looking not at all sorry.

"can ya blame me?,I know a lot a shite happened last ya was here,but ya can't live in fear of this place,an....well seeing ya an Eithne would make the man feel worlds better"

staring at each other for a moment knowing we both were too stubborn to give in,it was in the blood we shared,it was a no win situation.. _.fuck._

_"fine"_

Kate found us a booth,and I decided while we waited for our order to arrive I would go over to the Bar where I knew Rory was and introduce him to Eithne and let him know all was well.

Rory had his back to me,cleaning some glasses,I waited about oh I'd say about five minutes or so and was about to clear my throat to get his attention,but Eithne had other plans.

it seems it was "Boob o'clock" and the whimpering began,then the fitful "hiccup" crying as I called it,ensued.

the man couldn't turn around quick enough,forehead creased,mouth opened.

"Lily girl,an..is..is that?"

"yeah..an like her father,if Eithne doesn't get what she requires..she pitches a damn fit"

shaking his head as he leaned on the bar with one arm to get a better look.

"demandin' little cuss like her father is she?"

pulling the blanket back so he could see.

"yes,but Tom disagrees. _.naturally"_

"well,isn't she a lovely wee lass,an that hair" he snickered,"ya thank the maker she look nothin' like her father"

"hmm,I don't know" removing the blanket now entirely,setting Eithne on her bottom on the bar,"I'm thinking the coppery hair may turn dark red like his,maybe even be tall like him?"

poking the tip of her tongue out,she blinked not sure what to make of her new surroundings.

"wow,I had no idea just _how wee_ she really was"

"shes a preemie,so yeah"

our conversation was going well when the most _god awful_ sound came from Eithne's butt, wrinkling my nose I knew instantly what it was and it wasn't entirely gas,needless to say I was a cross between mortified and grossed out.

Rory looked as he was about lose it,stifling a laugh,covering my face with one hand as I still was holding Eithne up with the other.

_"oh my god,I'm so sorry Rory"_

_"fer what?..shes a baby,they do that Lily"_

_"yeah,but she basically crapped on your Bar"_

throwing his head back he laughed now,glad he thought it was funny,I didn't,leaning in he whispered again.

_"well Lily,I think we may of found somethin' she got from her father"_

this time we both laughed.

"okay maybe she did get _that_..from Tom,but before her aroma permeates the Pub I'm going to changes her,so if you'll excuse me while I take her to the loo"

Exiting the restroom,with a clean a seemingly livelier infant, _she should be, it was a particularly nasty load she had filled her nappy with,I was surprised Eithne could poop that much._ I was about to round a corner when I was greeted by a rather tall older gentleman,well more like we almost bumped into each other. _  
_

"oh,pardon me lass" he gave a nod.

"that's alright,I should of paid attention"

I began to continue on when..

"my..that's a wee babe you have there,I should of been the one watching where I was going"

looking back to him,he seemed. _.familiar,_ was it his eyes?,shape of face?,or just his height?,or maybe I've just been here so long every tall man was beginning to remind me of someone?..geez.

"yes she is,only a week old"

"reminds me of one of mine..though" looking down he nodded silently,"they are..no more"

_oh no..he must of lost his kids._

"I'm..sorry"

"eh..well it was a long time ago,and they were young,nothing I could do about it" he looked back to me smiling weakly,"it's still nice to see wee ones in the world,warms this stodgy old mans heart"

I felt sad and weird at the same time,my heart went out to him for his loss,but it was such a personal thing to be shared so suddenly with a stranger,probably just a lonely old guy and seeing Eithne stirred a memory.

"well,I'll let you be on your way,I'm sorry to bother you darling" he gave yet another polite nod and headed in another direction.

As I sat down in the booth,Kate was looking out the window watching something intently.

"who was that?"

"who?"

"that man" she pointed out the window,the look on her face wasn't pleasant.

"oh him,don't know,we just ran into each other when I came out of the restroom,he seemed kinda familiar though,I've seen him before"

"familiar?,ya seen him before?" she looked over at me,"where,when?"

"hell I don't know where or when..whats with the third degree Kate?"

_Jesus,what a turn around in mood._

"its nothin', sorry bout' that Lily" 

her eyes wandered back towards the window where the tall man was adjusting his scarf before he looked both ways to cross the street.

 

Lily was planning on an arguement when we returned,figuring Tom would have his dander up having taken Eithne into town,but that wasn't the case,he actually was glad of it,to see Lily get out of the house too.

I was actually thankful to see Ken was there when we arrived,I needed to speak with him urgently,what I had saw in town caught me unawares an unsettled me greatly,for one thing it was.. _impossible._

_"Ken..I needs a word,in fact I need several"_

handing me a cup of tea,he tilted his head.

"ya look a bit..skittish,whats goin' on with ya woman?"

 taking a seat across from me,I looked around to be sure we were alone,then back to him.

"when Lily an I were at Rory's Pub,Lily literally ran into a man coming out of the lady's loo,they chatted a bit and he went on his way"

"ya,and..?"

heaving a sigh,I looked at him directly,I knew what I was about to sat next may give the poor man a stroke.

"Ken...tell me,did they ever find Tom's father?"

my timing couldn't of been more off,he was mid-sip of his tea when he spit it out,coughing.

 _"the hell ya askin' me that shite fer?!"_ he said hurriedly in a whisper.

leaning in on the table,I knew what I saw,and with my cousin an her baby involved,I wasn't backing off.

"cause that man talkin' ta Lily looked like him Ken,ya fergit" I pointed at him," I knew that bastard too,he tried his... _charm.._ on me a fair few times,he looked the same..just older,the thing of it is,I'm not clear on just what happen ta him" I squinted my eyes,"after the...deaths, vague news inbetween an then Tom being brought here ta you,everything went hush hush"

he was quiet for a moment,thinking I'm sure,then he spoke.

"he was never found,just the bodies" he looked away,"hell they thought Tom was dead too,buried somewhere,even maybe at the bottom of that lake where I first saw him,but..his father" he shook his head,"their was an actual manhunt fer him,turned up nothin'"

"so..the authorities,they thought he was dead?"

"no..not until Tom was...fifteen,that's when he legally was granted his inheritance,cause as far as the courts were concerned at the time,that monster of a father of his _was_ dead" Ken sighed,"an now ya tellin' me this bloke ya saw today..looks just like him?"

"ya..and here's somethin' that'll really get ya riled...Lily's _seen him before,_ but she can't rightly remember when..or where. _.I don't like this Ken"_

"what,Lily's seen _him.._ before?" Ken leaned back in his chair,head dropping back as well, his eyes squeezed shut,"I needs ta call Rory an ask him if this bloke has been in his Pub as of late,or if it was cause of Lily?"

"so ya believe me?"

looking back at me.

"Kate,ya never lied ta me before,an why would ya lie about _this"_ he pointed his index finger hard onto the table,"like I said,they never did find that deranged sack of shite,who's ta say he didn't go into hidin' an after all these years he's decided come out?"

"question is.. _why now Ken?.."_

 

_To be Continued..._


	7. Ghosts of Times Past

The snow had been short lived and what was on the ground did melt,but the weather however remained crappy,chilly wind and consistently cloudy, _blah._

and now Tom and I were into week 4 of parenthood,yeah Eithne was now officially a month old,and more alert which we really did enjoy,she responded to each of our voices and Tom found this to be his newest fondness about her.

but during these past weeks I also had noticed a peculiarity in Kate and Ken's behaviors,bringing this to Tom's attention he only brushed it off,saying Kate was being Kate as for his Uncle, _"Ken's an old fart what did you expect Kitten?"_

yeah that was always Tom's excuse concerning Ken,play _the old fart_ card,but I wasn't so sure and I knew Ken wasn't _that old,_ so I knew something was not right,and thought about cornering the two of them when Ken made his morning Coffee visits at Kate's,but Tom just _had_ to ruin that by throwing his dirty mind into it, _"darling..you did say Ken goes over there more than usual,maybe they're shagging"_

_thanks for the visual Tom...asshole._

Now I'm left wondering what the hell is going on?...and I don't like not knowing especially when all I felt was apprehension.

"Tom I need to go into town and run some errands,could you watch the baby,I really don't want her out in the cold air"

it was a dumbass question,I was standing in the doorway of our bedroom,and he was lying on his side on the bed.. _reading_ to her,Eithne seem to like it,I guess as far as infants go that's what she was expressing,of course to me it sounded like she was making little raspberries.

"sure Kitten" he looked up,"I'm reading the Three little Pigs to her"

"I liked that story too. _.when I was four years old.._ not four weeks" I teased.

he stuck his tongue out at me,making a face at the same time, _well wasn't that..precious._

"go shopping mummy,we'll be fine" he winked,giving Eithne's belly a rub."won't we Roo?"

 shaking my head,I turned to leave, _Roo.._ Tom's nickname for Eithne,cause when he holds her up under her arms,she bounces on her feet,he says it reminds him of the Winnie the Pooh character,I swear, _these names_..I'm Kitten his daughter is Roo..I need to find one for him..other than asshole that is.

While driving towards town,losing myself in the tune coming from the radio,I had looked to my left as I passed by what I knew to be Kate's place,only to discover Ken's truck wasn't the only vehicle there...a very familiar dark blue sedan as well.

 _"what the fuck is Lennox doing there?"_ I murmured.

if I wasn't already suspicious about Ken and Kate's behavior I'd think nothing of it,but as it was I could barely contain my curiosity when those two were in my presence not to ask them what the hell was going on with them,and now..I see Lennox's car at Kate's along with Ken,what gives?

On my drive back which was about forty five minutes from when I had left the house,I made sure to look over at Kate's..Ken and Lennox were still there.. _.alright,_ at some point I need to confront one of them,I don't like this unnerved feeling that was coming over me.

 

I hadn't even realized Lily was back home until...

_crash_

"fuck!!"

quickly making my way from the nursery,careful not to wake the baby,I found myself tip toeing as I approached the kitchen,standing there staring at the floor that looked like a mini crime scene,Lily  with hands planted on her hips,scowling at the broken glass bottle of Red Wine.

"kitten?"

jerking her head up,which made me take a step back,damn that woman could look incredibly evil sometimes..shit.

 _"yes?"_ she hissed,quirking a brow as if daring me to give her any shit.

"you alright?..let me clean this up"

 _"aaarrrrgghhh"_ stamping one of her feet,"I can't believe _I did that"_ throwing her hands up.

"darling I know you're angry,why don't you hit something like a pillow"

pulling her lips severely to one side told me she thought it was a shit idea.

"a pillow?..no,c'mere,let me pull your chin whiskers"

"Lily..no" putting a hand up,then I gave her a cheesy smile,"but if you want to give _my dick_ a firm tug..." if anything,I was only trying to defuse the tiny bomb in front of me by giving her options.

I barely dodged the two,rather large onions she pitched at me.

 _"you wouldn't like it.. if I did"_ she snapped, _"lets just say Eithne will be an only child"_

 _"dammit woman,_ what has you on edge?,its only a bottle of wine" I now _cautiously_ went about cleaning up the mess,"you've been awful tense lately,don't think I haven't noticed"

"so what are you going to blame it on.. _hormones_ I suppose" giving me an accusing look.

throwing the glass away,I stared at her,she went from angry to hostile..walking up to her until we were flush with one another,her eyes were slits as she gazed upward. _.now whats with that?_

"I'm thinking _whatever._.is causing this it needs to be dealt with,.. _kitten"_

Sitting quietly on the edge of the bed,I had to admit after I unceremoniously dumped her ass there,I was..impressed she hadn't said a word.

lets see how quiet she remains after I do. _..this_...without warning,I  reached out to the collar of her shirt an gave it a fierce yank,off it went _somewhere in the room,_ she had maybe a slight in response to that,but nothing I was expecting,hmm going to be stubborn are we?

effortlessly with one curled finger I tugged her bra off,flinging it off to the side...my eyes greedily took in the now milk engorged mounds,yes..I would be enjoying those _and the contents within,_ whether she knew it or not.

having removed her pants without protest _,she knew better by now_ ,Lily was on full display for me,I noticed she had even opened her legs up for me to reveal a _very_ wet quim,my little kitty...was undeniably randy,wetting my lips,trying to decide where to start.

kneeling before her,I ran my hands up each of her inner legs,up to her thighs,spreading her wider,watching as she leaned back,propping herself up on her hands, _I see._. _the little vixen wants this,_ placing my head between her legs,I heard a soft _sigh._

anticipation...yes I knew Lily was feeling that,but was I in a giving mood?,or a taking one?..I guess we'll just have to see,one thing I did know,it had been a  long time since my cock was buried in her soft walls,balls deep,feeling them grabbing at my cock repeatedly,pulling the release out of me.

dragging my tongue _painfully_ slow across her lips,then dipping the tip deep through her slicken folds snaking its way through occasionally flicking at her swollen clit,her throaty whimper from above only pleased and encouraged me to tease her more.

 _"nnnooo..mmoore"_ her breathy moan implored.

more?. _.alright,_ opening my mouth wide,now sucking on her sex,randomly tugging on her clit,her hips squirming side to side,I placed my hands on her hips,pinning her in place as I hungrily went about licking.

knowing she was.. _right there_ ,I stopped,slowly crawling up over her she watched me,breathing heavily,it was my turn to make this something she wouldn't ever forget,Lily's eyes widened as my tongue laved across one her already pebbled nipples which I noticed to my delight a bit of milk was leaking from.

latching onto it,sucking immediately I was surprised when the milk squirted into my mouth,it was sweet and I found it to my liking, Lily seemed to find it agreeable as well,her back arching,pushing herself into it,moaning.

my hand slowly smoothing its way down her belly,over her mound,into her folds,rubbing,causing her hips to buck,two of my fingers,slid inside her,gasping  my name I continued suckling on her fervently.

working her hole with my fingers,I sated myself licking and suckling at her breast,all the while riding up against her hip with my cock using my precum as lubrication,I managed to steal a look,Lily's eyes were rolling,as she was panting.

her walls clamped down on my fingers as I began to drive them faster within her,a cry like a never heard made its way from her as her whole body arched trembling,then collapsed.

climbing on top I wasn't quite done yet,hiking one of her legs up I was about to slide my cock in, watching me with labored breath,a grin full of arousal grew on her face.

 _"oh yes Thomas"_ moistening her lips.

_"oh yes..what Kitten?"_

_"fuck me"_

hovering over her seeing her _still_  randy as ever,god I hadn't  really seen her like this.. _it was fucking incredible._

_"I plan to give you a proper shagging darling,no worries there"_

discreetly having putting a condom on, _as Lily couldn't use birth control until she quit nursing,_ I then without any gentleman decorum,thrusted myself into her without anything but a rise of her hips taking me to the hilt...and that grin of arousal having turned to a toothy feline one to greet me. _..goddamn._

Exiting the loo after having had a shower,I stood by the bed towel drying my hair looking at the naked woman sprawled on it fast asleep with a sated smile on her lips,I couldn't help but smile myself,we basically wrecked one another and had I not thought of that condom _I was certain_ Eithne would be a big sister in the next nine months...

but what really amazed me was _how_ wanton Lily was,she didn't understand by the things she was doing/saying just how much I wanted to..needed to. _.own her,_ by far this afternoons.. _play_ ,was most pleasurable,we were going to have to take _this level_ of inhibition she displayed.. out into the forest sometime,something about being out among the flora an fauna engaging in sex was...indescribable.

just gazing upon her post-coital stirred me..s _hit I need to get dressed and check on the baby,before I crawl back on this bed and fuck this woman into consciousness and straight into the mattress.._ "Daddy mode" on..now.

walking out of the door I took one more look at her... _so wee,stunning,intelligent and after what I saw and experienced in this bedroom, with a little more encouragement, Lily could prove to be a shameless wild minx...a perfect mixture of  sensible meets primitive._

 

Watching Kate rocking Eithne in her arms as she looked upon her adoringly,cooing softly to her,I thought about bringing up some questions while she was in a good mood.

"so..um,things are going well around here,I mean..you're okay,right?"

looking up Kate gave me a strange look,cocking her head.

"of course they are,love..why ya askin'?"

right,okay Lily..nows the time to just..put it out there, _no beating around the bush,_ looking up then back to her.

"Kate,ever since we went to the Pub for lunch,well you've been acting..out of sorts,an then Ken followed suit,its been going on for awhile now,then yesterday on my way to town I saw Lennox's car here..what's going on?"

she stilled her movements with the baby,eyeing me..pondering,what was there to think about? it was a simple question.

"ya gots yerself a keen eye ya do Lily,pickin' up on these things,but it do ya no good,its best ya just don't go asking darling,an go about ya business as usual"

narrowing my eyes,..when did she decide to get all cryptic? and where the hell did that come from?..oh wait,I think I know.

"I smell Lennox in that line of shit you just fed me"

sighing she looked at me imploringly..no it was a distressed face she wore.

"child,please..no more questions,I just want ta enjoy you the wee one here,not ta argue"

this was getting me nowhere,however I knew if I was to get any kind of answers I was going to have to go to the source of who was behind Kate dancing around the subject,..Lennox.

 

Vera insisted on keeping watch with the baby while I spoke with Lennox,even when I told her I could take her with me into the office the old woman literally chased me off.

so here I sat in the all too familiar office of my boss waiting for him to arrive back from lunch,this visit should be interesting,cause I have no idea what will transpire.

"Lily" his warm greeting came from behind,turning around,he was smiling as he removed his hat and coat."a pleasant surprise,and in the lobby too,was greeted by a lovely wee bundle that my receptionist refused to share with me" he made a mock frown "testy old bird I'm afraid"

"yeah,wouldn't even let me bring her in here" I shrugged.

sitting behind his desk he chuckled softly leaning in.

"probably thinks I'll analyze her"

I couldn't help but smirk at that one,sometimes his sense of humor was spot on.

"maybe"

clasping his hands on his desk,giving me his undivided attention.

"so needless to say,I am surprised to see you here,are you thinking of cutting your maternity leave short?,cause you only have a week left"

"no..I'm here for other reasons,and hopefully some answers,cause quite frankly.. _I'm tired_ of being treated like a child"

my forwardness seem to have caught him off guard,leaning back in his large chair,looking at me like he was I knew he was being "Dr.Lennox"

"what has happened to make you feel this way Lily?"

"I'm pretty sure you know,that's why you were at Kate's house yesterday,an Ken was there too..tell me Doc,what is going on?"

I swear the man turned into a statue right in front of me,..

"Lily.."

I knew that tone, _placating_ and to me, _fucking annoying,_ putting a hand up I was having none of it.

"stop..its not going to work this time,Lennox..shit has been..strange with Kate an Ken ever since Kate an I went to lunch at a Pub,and she saw this guy..older,he bumped into me when I came out of the bathroom after changing Eithne,he was apologetic,we exchanged a few words and he went on his way,but after that..Kate went all.. _weird"_        

"you.. _talked_ to this man?..what did he say?" Lennox suddenly took interest which I thought was odd.

"um..well,he commented on how small Eithne was,said she reminded him of one of his,but they were no more,I assumed his was speaking of children he lost,told him I was sorry,he said it was a long time ago,and they were young,nothing he could do about it" I shrugged.

Lennox was frowning now,the creases in his forehead deepened.

"Kate says you found him familiar,that you've seen him before"

"oh..so you _did_ talk about this,I had a feeling this may have had something to with her odd behavior" I stood up,"you all know who that guy was don't you,its someone of importance"

"we do..and we _think_ he is,still not sure,I'm looking into it"

 _"well"_ I threw my hands up,"who the hell could he possibly be!"

Lennox closed his eyes,opening them slowly,fixing them on me.

"Tom's father"

 

                                                                  _To be Continued..._


	8. Ghosts of Times Past

I heard that wrong,that. _.isn't possible_ ,Tom's father is dead,just like the rest of his family..isn't he?,he was a madman according to Lennox,a murderer, _but he was dead,that's what I was told._

there was so much about Tom I didn't know as it was,I was beginning to speculate now...just _how much_ Tom didn't know himself,staring at the man across the desk I also wondered..had he been completely honest with Tom?

"you're telling me.." I spoke cautiously,"the man I conversed with in the Pub,who was nothing but polite an apologetic with me, was in all likelihood..Tom's dad?" shaking my head slowly,"is this the shit you're trying to convince me of,he's dead.."

Lennox's face was impassive,not sure if that creeped me out or not?

"Lily..I'm not sure,but its a strong possibility" frowning again,but more intensely,"Tom's to know _nothing_..about this,am I clear?"

"before you go throw warnings at me Doc,I need more information..cause this shit about Tom's life gets more extraordinary every time I turn around,my understanding is that the man is dead..nuttier than a fruitcake when he was alive,and something tells me" I swallowed forcing myself to look at Lennox, "he's the reason why Tom's sisters.. are dead,his mother even"

rubbing his fingers across his mouth,Lennox

"you've given this some thought..a lot of thought"

"not really,with the bits an pieces of information provided by yourself,Ken and Tom  I acquired over time,I just did the math,what I don't understand if the man I met,the one you're referring to...why if he's Tom's father,hasn't he approached Tom?"

"that would be _more than_ an unwelcome if not devastating encounter,pray Lily...that never comes to pass,you just may lose the man you now know,.. _he would_ snap and its also why I'm looking into it,you see...Tom was told his father was dead when in fact,he was never found" turning around fully now,"there was quite an organized search for him,lasted..oh I would say a solid month,in that time the authorities were searching for Tom as well...after coming up empty handed on both accounts,they figured his father killed Tom an disposed of him some place where his body couldn't be found,as for his father,.." he shrugged,"they just gave up thinking he succumbed to the wilds of Scotland or the elements"

the severity of the topic to which we were speaking was..surreal,grasping the notion of it all was almost too much,Tom's past was beginning to formulate right before me,through Lennox's words and what I had already knew.

_"Christ..._ I think _I'm_ going to need a shrink before all is said an done" rubbing at my sinuses now.

"you an me both" he sighed.

 

I found that all the shit that Lennox had I had discussed was pushed to the back of my mind as soon as I got home an laid eyes on Tom bathing our daughter in the kitchen sink.

he was just as wet as her,bubbles here an there on his body,giggling and cooing as she would respond to him with her streams of squeals,babbling and a occasional raspberry would slip out,and if that weren't enough,with what little hair Eithne had..Tom made tiny soapy horns that were sticking up on each side of her head. _.real cute Tom._

the man was in heaven with his duty at hand and I for one was enjoying the scene before me,if someone had told me that several months ago I would be where I am now,witnessing this,I would of thought them crazy.

Eithne released yet another series of her "raspberries" making her father laugh,intrigued with her fathers reaction,she stopped the noises and stared up at him.

"someones fascinated,and I like what you've done with her hair,I think you found your calling Tom..as a hairdresser"

looking over at me,instantly revealing a toothy smile.

_"ehehehehehe_...it's cute,she seems to like it"

shaking my head as I walked over to them,Eithne began to wiggle when she heard me.

"Tom..shes an infant,shes oblivious to it" Eithne's bottom lip popped out,I knew what was coming, _"its the lady with the boobs,and I'm hungry!"_ looking at her grinning,"time for the rinse, huh sweet pea"

Cradling the now _very_ clean smelling infant,as she nursed quietly,eyes closed,one of her small chubby hands resting atop my breast,it was then I noticed I had an audience,..Tom.

"you're intrigued by this,aren't you?"

his face was mere inches from Eithne's observing her,his eyes wandered upward meeting mine.

"it's..incredible,at least to me,how she gets her nutrition from. _.that"_

"you're a unusual guy Tom" shaking my head,grinning,"but I knew that from the get go,and don't think while I was pregnant it didn't cross my mind that you at some point wouldn't be curious about the whole Nursing thing,cause it did"

smirking he reached over giving my unused breast a gentle squeeze.

"then I go and take it to another level"

"ah well.. _.I didn't mind that"_ winking.

_"good"_ he whispered,his lips now grazing the shell of my ear, _"cause I rather enjoyed it myself,an will likely indulge in that particular activity a few more times"_

I wished I had my cell nearby,as I laid on the bed reading,looking off to my side,also lying on his back sleeping was Tom,with Eithne slumbering on her stomach draped on his chest,legs an arms out,it was definitely a Kodak moment.

and why now of all the moments the abhorrent thoughts crept back into my head about what Lennox and I had discussed,I guess it was seeing Tom and our child in such a peaceful,tender, _normal_ setting that must of triggered it.

_and I'll be damned_ if Tom's past was going to fuck it up,if in fact this person is who Lennox thinks he is,I'll be the first in line to let this sick sonofabitch know he has no place in Tom's life,he's done enough damage and deserves to rot in a cell that he has long evaded.

my thoughts were cut short by the tiny grunting noises coming from Eithne,smiling as I watched as her lips would pucker,twisting,her nose scrunching,then she pushed her little butt up,I prayed that wasn't a sign that gas would ensue,then she relaxed her body,a yawn.

never waking himself,inadvertently Tom's hand gently placed itself on her back, she quit stirring and out she went again, _the security in a fathers touch,_ it was then I realized I had been crying,when a tear had dropped on my arm.

people had always saw the crass and wild side of Tom,myself included,and I found that in some ways attractive,but that was me,but it was _this_..the quiet interaction of him as a father with his daughter instinctively,loving,and protective...I wish others could see.

 

It was Lily's first day back to work and oddly enough she was willing to let me keep Eithne here with me,I thought for sure she would be taking the baby with her,that was the plan,Lennox an Vera even made accommodations at the office for Lily so she could.

though I did notice a bit of separation anxiety on her part before she left,constantly preening Eithne,asking me if I had enough of this or that,did I know where certain things were in case the baby got sick,I pretty much had to chase her out of the house,chuckling the whole time.

I think Lily left the baby here because she figured that she would be distracted if Eithne was there,and on her first day back the _focus_ on her job would be her primary concern.

"so boy..how goes ya first time without mum around?"

Ken handed me a cup of coffee wearing one of his smartass smirks.

"it's good,why..were you expecting to find me huddled in a corner shaking an pissing myself, as my daughter lay screaming in her crib?"

snickering now as he held his own cup of coffee.

"ta be honest no..more like covered in baby shite head ta toe, an Eithne who also be covered in her own shite with ya  holdin her up by her nappy wonderin' what the hell ta do with her?"

"piss off Ken,when it comes to Eithne I'm not _that_  incompetent"

_old git must think I'm a bloody moron._

"actually I've noticed that,..a good father ya are Tom, _real good_ ,I'm proud of ya boy"

_okay,I stand corrected_..but,there's something else going on behind those words,obscured..yet behind those eyes I saw something. _.more_ ,eyes always seem to give a person away and in Ken's case,it was almost transparent.. _almost_.

"Ken..is something amiss?"

"what?..no..no,everythin's good" he cleared his throat,then looked into his coffee cup wrinkling his nose"damn what kind of coffee is this?..taste like pig shite when ya get ta drinkin' it"

_uh huh,diversion_...something _was_ going on,and it was going to be like pulling teeth to get anything out of the old git..dammit.

"you made the coffee and its your favorite brand.." leaning forward with my hands clasped together,"you want try again Ken,or are we going to turn this into a guessing game?"

twisting his lips into a frown I knew this was going to be a battle of wills.

"I told ya there's nothin' wrong Tom, an I meant it,don't be diggin' at me"

crusty old fart,I knew better.

"if _you_ say so.." taking a sip of my coffee pretending to drop the subject.

giving me the stink eye I knew was coming I continued to ignore him,looking off at nothing in particular.

" fer grown man an now a father yas become even a bigger dickhead than before, ya know that don't ya?"

my gaze wandered back to him looking nonchalant,giving a shrug.

"I hadn't noticed"

rising to his feet I figured I really got his trousers in a bunch now..ehehehehehe.

"fucks sakes boy I told ya _there's nothin' wrong!"_ throwing his hands up as he turned from me,"what ya want from me?"

"then why are you practically..what is that Lily calls it?..oh yeah, _blowing a nut_ if nothings wrong?"

"I'm not..ya just gettin' me all riled up like ya use ta as a boy when ya thought ya had the upper hand" he pointed at me with conviction.

leaning back in my chair,folding my arms.

"has this anything to do with why Lily saw Lennox over at Kate's awhile back?..you were there too so don't play stupid"

I didn't think the man could get any paler,but in that instant that's just what he did.

"where ya gettin' these notions?..can't people visit one another without ya bein' all suspicious?" his tone was defensive which raised some flags in my mind.

_"really._.when was the last time you three got together for a cuppa? a widow a bachelor farmer and a shrink" I now stood up,"the more I think on it,the more I realize why Lily's demeanor on the whole thing was spot on..the fuck is going on Ken?"

"ya neednt' ta pry,ya already gettin' me in a spot a trouble talkin' as much as I am" his face hardened,eyes seeming to crackle with an irritability I didn't understand.

"the hell does that even mean?,you've told me nothing..I just picked up on the change in your body language,the evasiveness in your conversation an the way you said I was a good father"

"speakin' of which..I'm done with _this_ conversation" he retorted.

and without another word he stalked out of the house not slamming the door,but it was enough to wake Eithne.

 

I kept getting pouty,borderline looks of disapproval from Vera,I guess she wasn't too happy when I showed up with no baby in my arms,even after I explained that I just needed to concentrate on my work the first day back with out the perpetual "boob breaks" necessary to feed Eithne.

though I did admit to myself I missed my little bundle,that and the very noticeable engorgement of my breasts making it painfully aware,I guess I would have to bring her tomorrow,there was no way I could endure carrying these ungodly sized milk boulders around all day again without some relief.

"Lily..may I see you in my office?"

looking up over my shoulder from the computer,Lennox was peering from his office door.

"sure,I'll be right there"

Closing the door behind me,but facing Lennox I could see the man didn't look particularly..pleased, _well shit,now what?_

"Lily..we may have a possible...problem"

taking a seat,I tried running every possible scenario through my head of _what_..that problem could be.

"could you elaborate?"

closing his eyes,pinching his sinuses,he spoke quietly.

"I received a call from Ken about ten minutes ago...seems Tom has become _inquisitive,_ to the point where he almost dragged out information out of his Uncle I just as soon he didn't"

"information about this guy that might be his father..right?" I knew it had to be about that,"cause as it is I hate keeping what you've told me from Tom,but I also know how.. _delicate_ his mind is concerning that part of his past"

his eyes opened,but fingers remained in the bridge of his nose.

"yes Lily and I know it bothers you,but you're keeping a man who's _still_ healing, from letting that wounded _little boy_ inside resurfacing in a destructive way"

"I know" nodding slowly,dreading ever having to meet this _"little boy"_ I heard about,living inside my Tom the _profoundly_ hurting part of him.

"anyways..I don't know what you're going to walk into when you get home?,just be forewarned,Tom could be acting just fine,then again if he lets what transpired between him and Ken eat at him..it could be a different Tom altogether,anxious,irritable,prone to all kinds of mood swings,he may even go for one his _runs"_

"I can deal with him going on a run,I understand why he does it..it's the mood swing part you're talking about,I've only seen it a few times,but it wasn't...bad,not like you're suggesting,so I'd rather he went running"

staring at me point blank now,Lennox face was like a rock.. _jesus!_

"and so do I,cause Lily,if you experienced Tom's mood swings _full_ potential like Ken an I have...you'll be the one running"

 

                                                                                                            _To be Continued..._


	9. Ghosts of Times Past

It wasn't _a Tom_ that Lennox thought I may walk in on as soon as I got home,in fact he seem to be his regular self,delighted to see me giving me a rather delicious full on kiss that I must admit,I wished lingered a bit longer.

and a more than eager infant that greeted me by rutting her little face back an forth into my boobs grunting and whimpering *sigh* _I feel so loved._

_"ehehehehehe,_ somebody missed mummy"

"yeah,I guess nothing beats the real deal,.. _ow!"_ looking down the little shit had clamped down hard on my nipple,giving Tom a pained look as I adjusted her _,"damn"_

Tom hissed looking remorseful.

"you alright darling?"

"uh..yeah,I take it she didn't like the bottles despite the breast milk I pumped for her?"

"not at first,fussed a bit..but after I rubbed the nipple across her lips letting the milk dribble on them to taste, she seem to get the idea"

finally happy with her final position,Eithne went about nursing quietly without mauling my nipple any further.

"I think tomorrow I'll take her to work with me,I rather like my nipple,plus I think Vera will quit speaking to me if I show up without her again"

gently running the back of his fingers across my cheek Tom giving me a loving look.

"and..you missed her.. _didn't you kitten?"_

"that's a given,but Lennox an Vera were looking forward to seeing her there"

"well,other than being threaten with a permanent snubbing from a dried up old secretary..how was your first day back?"

placing my now sleeping child in her portable bassinet,and adjusting my bra, I sat next to him nestling my head onto his chest.

"it went well,kinda slow actually"

failing to mention the conversation with my boss that was the _only_ highlight of my day,and now wondering if Tom would get around to mentioning anything that was related to it.

"how was yours...you and Eithne have fun?" looking up at him,"or did anyone come over thinking you couldn't handle things by yourself and gave you shit about it?" I couldn't help but snicker.

"we did..took her with me to feed the cows an pigs,just put her in that baby sling carrier thingie and she was set,though I don't think she was keen on the smell of the pigs,got a bit fussy and made raspberries..ehehehehehe"

_oh gawd..my poor baby!_

"Tom really?..around the pigs,those stinky damn things,I can't say as I blame her"

"well..I wanted to show her where mummy an daddy had there first kiss"

sitting up raising both brows, I gave him a _"you got to be fucking kidding"_ look.

"you what?" 

"well actually I showed her the water trough,told her I pushed you in an you pulled me in too and that's where we kissed" he was smiling brilliantly.

folding my arms I leaned back.

"so basically you told our daughter what an asshole you were an that I kissed you anyways"

he stared at me for a moment then shrugged.

"I guess"

"you guess?..that's exactly what it was Tom,and you shared that with an infant" shaking my head,"you still haven't answered my other question,anyone pester you about being unable to care for her?"

"yeah,Ken came over giving me shit,but that's Ken for you"

_I was fishing for information so I prodded on._

"I'm sure he came over with every intention of giving you a good ribbing,but he knows you're capable"

"he does,and...more"

_more?..more what?_

"what's that suppose to mean?"

abruptly he pushed himself off the couch walking towards the front door.

_"secrets"_ the door shut behind him.

and there it was...it had been simmering in him the whole time, _anxious,irritable,prone to all kinds of mood swings_ "Tom",just like Lennox predicted,and I'm pretty sure at this moment he was  on his way off on one of his runs.

_Run..or not to run?._.fuck!,this isn't something I should be thinking about right now,I have a family now,Lily and my child are counting on me to...keep my wits about me.

but here I am pacing back an forth like a lunatic in a pasture talking to myself,dammit if it had been for my inherent ability to _pick up_ on certain things about people,then I'd be in..a _better place._

however that _"itch","drive"_ whatever one wanted to call it,that rises in me,burning,coiling needed to be dealt with,stopping my mad stride,looking over my shoulder at the cottage,containing the most precious lives.

then looking towards the north of the darkening skies of the Highlands...unfortunately that's where my mind went,it was filled with the same darkness,and I needed to know why? so I could rid myself of it.

if only Ken would of just..talked to me..why was he acting so _off_ and tight lipped?.. _what's going on?_

Taking survey of the lake before me,determining whether I should move onward towards the summit of the hill,last time it proved to be rather bizarre..filling me with an unease I hadn't felt since I was a boy. _  
_

the memory of that night when I went to _the house_ to seek shelter...it came back like an assault _,what looked to be a small makeshift campfire made out of rocks and leftover items from inside the house,hearing the footsteps again nearing,I quickly lowered myself,when they ceased,I took the chance and looked back up slowly,I wish I hadn't,the person's frame silhouetted against the fire,_ _I need to get the fuck out of here cause there is no way in hell this happening,I am not seeing this..._ _it can't be,_ _there's no way._.. _its a trick of my own mind._

but what really came at me sideways was... _then why are you seeing "him" standing in that shit hole you use to call home?..you know who...its not like you could ever forget the sonofabitch!._  

that _silhouette_  ...was my father.

_"fucking goddamn it,no.no no NO!!"_ shouting into the air loud enough that my voice echoed through the small valley enough to stir up some birds who took flight,squawking their displeasure.

but..how?,that shit for nothing of a man _was dead_..wasn't he?,that was what I was told,the Police even said so,and no word was heard from him since I was ten or so,not even sight of him..until now.

my skin prickled and a full body shudder came over me,shrugging off a shiver...I suddenly became fully aware of something...shit, _that's why_ Ken was acting strange,he knows too!,that means Lennox,Kate and..oh god,closing my eyes.. _possibly Lily knows too._

_NO...if that motherfucker..is alive,I need to protect her and Eithne..at all costs,..I need to go back home._

Peering through the front door I only cracked open,it was quiet an no one was the living area,and far as I could tell not in the Kitchen either,making my way down the hall I saw the soft glow of Eithne's night light from the Nursery ,so I headed down there.

heaving a sigh of relief upon seeing Lily an Eithne balled up together on the daybed asleep,it seemed though Eithne may of been dreaming,she would grunt,then her arm would randomly pop up stiffly waving her little fist then drop.

crawling in behind Lily I wrapped myself about her,intertwining our legs,she stirred only slightly,murmuring,I kissed her lightly on the back of the head.

_"ssshhh Kitten..its okay,I'm home"_

 

It was the persistent mewl of a very pissy baby that woke me,opening one eye,I saw Eithne on her stomach half draped across her father's  _who I had no idea up until now was lying next to me,_ chest,rubbing her face in,it was evident she was desperately searching for sustenance and getting nowhere.

picking her up she let out a pathetic wail.

_"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"_

sitting upright quickly Tom's head spun in every direction.

_"wha..where..huh?"_

placing a hand on his shoulder,giving it a squeeze.

"easy there daddy..shes fine..pissed off,but fine" directing her to her meal,she eagerly went about it,wincing as the child wasn't as gentle as she used to be,"damn,if she keeps being sadistic about this,its the bottle for her"

rubbing his eyes,Tom looked down,watching her nurse,smoothing a hand carefully down the back of her head.

"and hows mum?" he yawned.

"good,and you?"

leaning in until our foreheads touched,his lips ever so lightly touched the tip of my nose,kissing it.

"the same"

I was skeptical,after last nights little event it gave me good reason.

"really?"

"yes" pulling his head back cocking a ginger brow,"you're not buying it though"

"no..should I?" 

"I didn't go on a run..I wanted too,but" he laid back down," I thought it'd be better if I just stayed here an,well..dealt with it"

he must be kidding.

"it?..what exactly is.. _it?"_

"would you be upset if I said that right now..I can't tell you?,it's not something I'm ready to talk about"

removing Eithne from my breast,I went about as quietly as possible putting her in her crib,covering her up,I made my way back to Tom.

he looked up at me,I was guessing not sure what was going through my mind..he really didn't want to know,for one thing I had grown tired of the " _it's not something I'm ready to talk about"_ excuse, he an I have been through some shit together,an now have a child.

and as of late I was in possession of info about a man who could possibly be his father who's suppose to be dead,yet I was sworn to secrecy cause his former shrink thinks Tom will lose his shit,and now...people think its possible Tom is suspicious of this and that's why I think he stormed out last night.

"not ready,or..like always you just refuse to talk to me?"

I don't think he was expecting that,and why I came to that conclusion?..the dirty look I got as he bounded out of the bed and walked out of the room, _oh no you don't Thomas Hiddleston!..not this time._

right on his heels,this matter was going to be discussed and warnings from Lennox be damned,I'm tired of this shit,as Tom rounded the corner into the living area before me.

_"is this about your father?"_

stopping in the hallway,waiting..I knew it wouldn't be long,and it wasn't..his  head popped around the corner,scowling 

"and.. _.what_ do you know of him?" eyes narrowing.

"I know he was nuttier than a fruitcake,or so I'm told"

stepping into the hall,somehow he appeared ominous,maybe it was the way he stood,the look on his face,whatever it was I didn't like it.

_"my father...was a disgusting sadistic sack of shit Lily,an you'll do well to never speak of him again"_ he stuck a finger of warning at me, _"is this understood?"_

I've heard this all before,the warnings,the threats _...so done._

"what if..its too late for that?" standing my ground I glared just as hard as him,"you can't always protect me from the ugliness of the world Tom, whether its words or people,whatever form it takes,its part of life"

giving his head a tilt slowly,forehead wrinkling,peering at me questioningly.

"was..that some sort of.. _dig_ ,at my lack of ability to defend you when you needed me the most?..like when a man who I thought was a friend..violated you"

_oh-my-god,he can't be serious?,we've gone over this._

"I cannot believe you went _there_ Tom,..no,my attack has nothing to do with what I said,quit turning this around,this is about your father and why you never talk about him with me _,I"_ pointing to myself "have to hear it from other people,I'm well aware of what a monster he was"

pulling his head back,eyeing me as if I grew another head,suddenly through his body language he was becoming different,someone I hardly knew,to say the least it was unsettling to witness.

"you.. _.know?"_

_"yes.._ and I'm also pretty sure he's the reason your sisters and mother are deceased,how you survived..that much I've not been told,nor have I figured out"

"FUCK!"

the intensity and timbre in which his shout delivered,literally backed me into the wall,and before I could pull myself together...he was gone.

 

My lungs were screaming,the pain was almost unbearable,but the images racing through my head past an present all obscured,all had voices I knew one thing..I had to put distance between myself and...civilization.

stripping myself of clothes along the way as I approached the familiar row of tall trees that indicated the forest was straight ahead,I blindly headed towards them,it was my refuge _,my peace_...the one thing I had lost back there.. at the cottage.

_Lily._

 

_To be Continued..._


	10. Ghosts of Times Past

Pulling up to the cottage I noticed immediately something was not right,for one thing the front door was open and poking my head out the truck window I was made aware that it was..eerily silent.

slowly making my way towards the door I swore I heard something,but wasn't sure at first,turning an ear trying to tune in on the sound,it was soft...muffled even,but as I advanced I realized it was..sobbing.. _a woman's sobbing._

heading towards the hallway I nearly tripped,when I saw it was Lily,knees drawn up to her face,shaking like a leaf..what the?

_"Lily girl?"_

kneeling beside her,she clearly was distraught,but why?,looking up her face ruddy,and saturated with tears.

_"oh Ken!"_ she sniffed falling literally into my arms sobbing harder than I heard when I first walked in.

 

"What all did she tell you Ken?"

blowing a sigh as I ran a hand through my hair,trying to recall everything Lily had said it was hard to make heads or tells from the hysterical babbling's,what I did know was..it was about Tom an it didn't end well..but I'd do my best.

"Lennox...not sure how ta put it in order?,so I'll just tell ya how I see it...I think Tom knows about this man maybe bein' his father...I believe the boy done went off the grid" my eyes met up with Lennox's _"right in front of Lily,_ that's why the girl's in sorry shape she is"

a quick intake of air through his nostrils as Lennox squeezed his eyes shut,rubbing his hands on his legs.

_"damn"_ he whispered.

When Lennox an I entered the bedroom we both balked at the sight before us,Lily curled up on the bed still snufflin' a bit,Kate sitting at her side gently stroking her hair,looking up at us with a pained look on her face.

_"she be sayin' nothin' poor thing just trembles an cries"_

Lennox made the first move and sat opposite of Lily on the edge of the bed.

"Lily..Lily,darling can you please look at me?"

slowly uncoiling herself,Lily looked up,eyes swollen from the toll that the crying she had done,her bottom lip trembling.

_"I..I'm sorry"_ she croaked, _"I..I sh..shoulda..st..stopped"_

_"stopped what,darling?..tell me"_ Lennox soothed handing her a handkerchief.

taking the handkerchief she slowly pushed herself upright,Kate guided her.

"I..I _pushed_ him" her eyes watering,"I only wanted some answers Lennox..I..I just grew..tired of the..concealment about..his life,I confronted him about his father...he.. _he lost it,I mean just..flipped out"_

"confronted him?..just _what_ exactly did you say about his father?"

she looked like a child about to be rebuked,her eyes lowering,wringing her fingers together.

"that..I knew his father  was crazy and..he's the reason his sister's and mother were deceased,how he survived I didn't know?,...yes I know I lied about that last part"

Lennox rubbed his chin,sighing.

"Lily..I understand the need for answers,but I warned you,it could be unsafe to ask him about that" placing a hand atop her nervous ones,"darling my question now is..are you alright?"

slowly shaking her head,a single tear made its way down her cheek.

_"no_..Tom's out there,alone..angry,hurting,confused and its _my_ fault,an something tells me he won't be coming back...because it _was me_ that slighted him"

we were briefly interrupted when Kate came in carrying a wide awake bundle in her arms,cooing at it,.. _when did she leave the room?_

"went ta check on her,the wee thing was just occupyin' herself,no cryin' so I thought I'd feed her with one of them bottles ya left fer Tom in the fridge,so shes fed"

Lily wiped her eyes with her hands,outstretching her arms,Kate gently deposited the baby in them,Eithne released a tiny squeal of what I assumed was delight, upon seeing her mum which brought out the first smile on Lily's face since I got here.

 

I was to blame,and I felt it in its entirety,consuming my every thought,I desperately wanted the truth but I hadn't fully realized the cost,and at the same time I was angry with Tom.. _.if he would of just trusted me with this ugly secret..the whole secret._

knowing what the next step was and that it would worry and possibly piss off some people,I put it into action,..I was going to fix what I had broke,..though I knew Tom in certain ways.. was already broken,I did further damage an now it was up to me to repair that which I had done and maybe help restore the parts that had remained neglected.

Making sure Eithne's needs were taken care of,several bottles of breast milk in the fridge,and cans of powdered formula that was an equivalent to supplement, should the bottles run out,and I included that information in the note I left on the coffee table next to the couch that Kate was currently napping on.

I know I fucked up. _.immensely_ ,and I was going to rectify this by any means I deem workable,for Tom...for our daughter,and knowing a certain group of people I just left behind will be put off by my actions..so be it.

Noticing how Braun handled himself as we headed toward the forest I guess I should of figured the old draft horse knew this route by heart,I didn't even need to direct him to where I was heading,he simply started going towards the Highlands.

keeping on high alert as we entered the forest,from the sights to the sounds,I made sure that Tom's old haunts were covered,but sadly there was no sign that he had been there,my next spot to check was _our_ personal place,the hot spring,surely he would of stopped by there at some point.

Sliding off the huge mount,tying him up,I carefully made my approach towards the familiar rise of steam ahead of me,Looking down I tried to make out any fresh footprints and seeing none,sighing my frustration I was at least hoping to see that much evidence that he was or had been around.

after an hour of checking the surrounding area and coming up empty,I chose to take advantage of the hot spring and clean off the sweat and weariness my body had collected,slowly sinking into the heated water,submerging up to my neck.

closing my eyes then holding my breath I went under the water, once under I just let myself float a bit,letting the heat of the water draw what tension it could from my body.

rising out of the water with a slight rush,slicking my hair back,wiping the water from my nose,and eyes,once regaining my focus the gasp that escaped me faintly echoed.

the capacity to speak failed me,sitting across from me in the spring..Tom,stolid-like,..the part of me that wanted to throw myself into his arms,held fast. _.not a good idea._

gauging the situation,the unease was as tangible as the silence between us,we simply stared at one another,but of the two of us..his being disquieting. _  
_

should I say something?..do I dare?..just what the fuck is going on right now?. _.say something Tom.  
_

then he did move,submerging himself slowly,then popping back up slicking his hair back,his dark gaze found me again...I really must of unleashed a side of him that had been hidden,cause this _"muted but pestilent"_ aire he was exuding was beginning to scare the shit out of me.

maybe going after him wasn't such a good idea,perhaps I should of waited for Lennox to come up with an idea,then again,I was responsible for this shit..I needed to deal with it.

_"Tom.."_

lightening speed wasn't the word for it,he was on me before I knew it,firm grasp on my jaw,a warning finger held just inches in front of my eyes.

_"shut-it"_ he growled.

never taking my eyes off him,swallowing hard,I did as he said,something in the way he made his request told me it was best that I did.

lowering his other hand,Tom hadn't released my jaw yet,he just kept an even gaze with me.

finally letting go of my face,his hand slid down my throat,resting flat just above my breasts,still his eyes remained locked on mine.

_just fucking talk to me already!..,I'm sorry goddamn it,I love you please forgive me._

again with no warning,he was on me,but this time...it took on a ravenous nature,his mouth had painfully latched onto mine,forcing a muffled squeal out of me,his body pushed me up against the side of the spring.

pulling his head away abruptly,he never spoke,nor broke eye contact,placing a hand inbetween my breasts slowly sliding across my right one, his thumb began to rub tortuous circles about the nipple.

as the rest of his fingers squeezed firmly at my  breast,my lips parted lightly only to allow an almost inaudible whimper out, and while those fingers were busy,Tom found a better use of his other ones. 

they were already moving inside my warm walls, I hadn't noticed that I had become a saturated mess,removing his fingers, his cock wasn't being shy about wanting in,rutting up an down my folds,purposely hitting my clit with his tip,teasing me.

_what was this all about?,was this part of his..purging?..or something else?..._ figuring I should just go with it,unless it got..weird.. _yeah right,define weird Lily._

Tom picked up his pace making sure the tip of his cock kept hitting my clit with each gentle thrust making me gasp,my panting began to become uneven.

_he knew_ I was close,that's why he stopped, spun me around,almost forcing my face into the earth that edged the spring and discourteously pushed his cock up inside me until he was fully seated emitting a guttural sound of satisfaction.

 moving slow at first,Tom's motions quickened,pushing my ass up to meet his thrusts, a high pitched squeal like I never heard escaped me,it had triggered Tom's orgasm,moving in unison until we both were depleted.

feeling his body's weight and the hot labored puffs of his breath on my back,I remained still... _now what?do we just relax and have casual conversation now?..I hardly think so.,_ _guess I'll give it a shot._

the weight of his body lifted,turning around I watched as he had his back to me,casually splashing himself with water...well...it seems that impulsive feral act got _something_ out of his system.. _.fucking hell._

_"I'm..sorry"_

his head turned slightly toward me.

"sorry" he scooped some water now pouring it on his chest,"sorry?...I'm not sure I understand"

"for what I said..bringing things up,that...hurt you"

fully facing me now,frowning,eyebrows knitted together..gawd he looked nefarious right now,hovering over me,looking the way he did.

"hurt me?..is _that_ what you think you did?"

composing myself,I tried to find the words,but it seemed my vocabulary was failing me.

"Tom..I know I did,please..I never meant too"

"go home Lily"

finding my footing and a bit of ire as his words stung, I stood up,glaring hotly.

"why?..I came out here looking _for you_ ,cause _I love you,_ and I did find you" his eyes darkened again _"what!?_..you think you can just go all caveman an fuck me like one then its. _.go home Lily?_..bullshit Tom!"

"go home Lily..Eithne needs you"

with no further words he effortlessly climbed out of the spring,as he started to walk away.

_"Eithne needs you too,don't be a bastard about this!"_

stopping in his tracks,back to me.

"she doesn't need me..you're  both better off without me"

before I could say or do anything he bolted,disappearing into the forest,he was that quick,I listened to his footfalls pounding the earth,the cracking of the sticks and what not and shrubbery in the distance as he moved further away.

 

Quietly sitting slightly hunched over,feeling dejected as I moved with the gait of my mount who obviously his way home,wondering what the fuck do I do now?,I went after him..and indeed found him,but...he rejected me,he rejected our daughter.

The fog was a bit thick but I could just make out three forms coming towards me,as they came closer,they were clearer,three people on horses,one of them waved to me.

"Lily"

Braun like me recognized the voice and planted all fours.. _smart horse,_ Pulling his own mount along side me Ken searched my face,what he could see of it,my gaze focused on Brauns large head before me.

"hes gone...he denied me an Eithne an told me to go home..hes not coming back"

_"he lied"_ slowly looking over at him,an oddly enough,Ken had a small smile on his face,"he is going through some shite lass,an he's only protecting ya an that wee babe by sayin' things that are hurtful ta run ya off"

"well..it worked"

 

                                                    _To be Continued..._


	11. Ghosts of Times Past

Several weeks had gone by, making it 2 months and the last anyone had seen of Tom was me,when we had our unstately,harsh bout of sex and then he dismissed me... _I still have yet to figure what the fuck that was all about?_ ,Even after Ken an a small group of his close friends went out daily canvasing practically every inch of the Highlands possible,they came up empty.

I almost resigned myself to an uncertain fact that Tom might never be coming back... and it made me heartsick, the only thing that kept me from totally bottoming out emotionally.. Eithne, she was a constant reminder that I had a reason to focus and _go on_ , as it were.

"darling.. penny for your thoughts?"

slowly looking away from the computer monitor, to the concerned face of my Boss,  Lennox, I managed a small sigh.

"someone asked me that once before.. but I can't recall what my response was, so I guess I'll just say.. its nothing really,sorry I was off task"

"Lily... I know you were thinking about Tom, as you have been everyday since he left.. you love him, its only natural"

tilting my head, I eyed the Psychiatrist who had become more than just my boss,..a friend.

"I'm not so sure as of late,.. he's hurt me, and whether he knows it or not, he's hurt his daughter.. she looks for him you know, Eithne maybe an infant, _but she knows,_ there's something.. wrong..missing, and that angers me far more than him hurting me.. _he left her"_ only now did I realize the hot tears dripping down my cheeks.

he could only stand there looking helpless.

_"I know darling..I know"._

 

_"ppphhtt"_

looking to where the noise came from, only to see, Eithne holding her feet,tongue poking out.

"well..that was ladylike"

 _"ppphhtt"_ this was accompanied with a gurgling smile.

raising a brow I leaned on my fist looking at her as she squirmed about.

"I'm just glad that's not a real fart young lady. _.so not_ dealing with those"

the squirming stopped as if she were actually listening, then a squeal pierced the air, and she was back to her random kicking of the legs,waving of the arms.

"I see ya girls are havin' a bit of a conversation"

I forgot Kate was going to drop by,looking over my shoulder, she walked up beside me.

"hey..ya, seems Eithne has accomplished..gibberish, or fart speech, not quite sure?"

scooping up the wiggling infant, Kate held her up,making faces,weird noises and cooing.. Eithne on the other hand stared at her as if she was a bubble off.

"um..don't think shes into it"

Kate looked over at me, frowning with a shrug.

"eh... ta each is own, maybe..."

another fart noise,but.... this one _was real_.

pulling my lips in,stifling my laughter, I watched the plethora of facial expressions cross Kate's face, looking over at me as she still held Eithne .

_"by all that's holy!..did that come out of her arse?"_

_"yes"_ I squeaked, still trying to refrain from laughing.

"ack..jeesus!..the lass has a rank odor ta her" now handing Eithne over to me.

"she tends too,when she craps Kate" taking the smelly child from her.

preparing to change Eithne's nappy, Kate came up from behind me.

"Lily..I ran into Lissa this mornin'.. we gots ta talkin', beings things are what they have been.. ya ever think about just going' out an just..havin' a bit a fun?"

 _great_ , people are talking..that's all I needed, I mean I figured they were, Tom was always fodder for the  gossip mill in this county, always has been, but now.. Eithne and myself were brought into the mix, that only furthered my anger for him.

"my thoughts of fun don't exist, taking care of my child,and myself are first Kate, so no.. and don't go lecturing me on shutting down and not having fun, Tom made a choice months ago.. now I'm making my own..he put me in this position and if that sonofabitch ever has the balls to show up..I'll tell him just how much I feel about it, .. _if I don't shove his balls down his throat first"_ I growled.

turning around with a freshly diapered baby, my look couldn't of been more resolute, Kate's face dropped,sighing.

"okay..ya have ya rights ta be pissed at the man, just so ya don't go an get bitter, young,beautiful lass ya are, with a beautiful wee baby.. don't let this take ya down, ya here me" she was wagging a finger at me now.

"yes Kate.. I won't"

 

"This isn't goin' ta get any better, an I's gettin' worried"

"I did all I could Kate, _that boy_...is gone," Ken scratched at his head, heaving a worried sigh before taking a sip of his coffee, "I don't bloody well know where he could of gotten ta"

"and ya been checking all them places?" I pressed, eager for _anything,_ maybe I'd have something to tell Lily,give her some hope.

"ya..every other day, even have me mates usin' their best huntin' dogs ta trace his scent.. not _a damn_ thing, I'm gettin' anxious that feckin' git may of left the country"

 _"what?"_ I couldn't see Tom doing that, "there'd be no call fer that Ken.. ya say he's tryin' ta protect Lily an the baby from  a man we suspect maybe his dad, yet no ones seen this man since Lily had at the pub.. its quite suspicious, all of it"

"it is, an I have me ideas.. not good ones either, I just hope that ginger headed git didn't go lookin' fer that man Lily saw" Kens eyes met mine, "if he did Kate..it won't play well, an that be why Tom hasn't come back... he knows he can't"

oh dear lord, he wasn't suggesting Tom would of?..no.

"Ken..yer not saying.."

he nodding, looking gravely at his cup of coffee.

"he couldn't come back Kate, knowing he had a mans blood on his hands... _literally."_

I didn't mask the alarm I felt,covering my mouth with my hand.

"Lennox know any of this?,beings _he was_ his Doctor"

Ken straightened in his chair nodding.

"all of it since all this shite blew up,he's doin' what he can, right now his main concern is fer Lily an that wee lass Tom left behind" gritting his teeth, "it was one thing ta take off fer bit ta protect them, but it's been a few months an...nothin', I dunno whether ta be scared or..spend the rest of me life lookin' fer his skinny arse fer the sole purpose of findin' him just so as I can beat him meself"

lowering my head,pinching my sinuses, _Christ... this whole bleedin' mess has gotten out of hand,_ I felt Ken patting my other hand,looking over to him,he was smiling weakly.

"no worries darling, we's get through this, you,me,Lily an wee Eithne... just needin' ta stick ta together,that's all"

"sounds good an all Ken..but its me Lily girl I worries about" oh bugger where are these tears coming from?,"she puts on a good face, but I sees it" wiping the tears now, "shes stays strong fer that babe,but shes fadin', heart sick"

"I sees it too Kate, every time I goes an pays a visit or I sees her headin' fer work.." sighing he added, "I wish I had some news fer her..anythin'"

 

 _Finally a breather_ ,  and decided to go for a Horseback ride,Kate's offer to watch Eithne couldn't of came at a better time, I thought I was going to loose my fucking mind, it had been weeks since I had my "mini melt down" in front of Kate, and in that time I felt like my world more than ever was going off its Axel.

little things.. _weird things_ were happening,for example I was awoken to sounds of my daughter..gurgling and _giggling,_ it must of been between two or three in the morning, naturally I got up to investigate.

in doing so like the clumsy dip I can be,I ended up rolling out of bed with a _thud_ , after recovering from that,I made my way down the hall to the Nursery,flicking on the light I approached the crib seeing little hands erratically waving about from above the railings.

upon seeing me she smiled, cooing her nonsense,drooling,seeing all was well, I went to take a step back,that's when I saw it. _.smudges_.. _mud_ on the crib rails an some on the bumpers too,not a lot but enough to draw my attention.

then if that weren't enough, one morning I woke up,ready to make coffee, I must of passed the coffee table at least three different times,but is was when I sat to drink my coffee I saw it.. _.a flower_ , an no ordinary flower. _.a Lily._

but what really got to me, the night I woke once again, it was the smell that filled the room _...the smell of wet earth,_ and _rain, the tang of sweat,human sweat!.. I knew these scents.._.but,it couldn't be,it was just a distortion of a disordered mind...right?

SO..yeah,Kate's arrival couldn't of been better,and now here on my favorite Horse,Harper and she seemed glad to see me and even eager to get out of the Stables, _poor girl it had been quite awhile since her an I went riding._

I guess I hadn't been paying attention,and Harper naturally took the route most familiar to her,. _.the Forest,_ it was when we were only a ways in did I notice this..shit, I _did not_ want to be here, taking the reins I urged my mount to turn around,however she wasn't responding. _.what the hell?._..gently digging my heels into her sides clicking my tongue...nothing.

"seriously Harper,the first time we came out here,you about shit down your legs,everything freaked you out,couldn't wait to leave,..now _you want_ to stay?"

emitting a low rumble,the Mare shook her head,nickering.. _.I guess I'm not the only one going bonkers around here,seems even the livestock is crackers too,_ fuck it...I'm in no mood to argue with twelve hundred pound horse who has decided to act like a Mule.

"let's go then, _pain in the ass"_ I mumbled.

The deeper we got into the Forest,Harper's senses weren't the only ones that had heightened, my ears were alert to every noise,eyes keen to my surroundings, _oh wouldn't I give right now to have Tom unceremoniously just jump out of the underbrush and pull me off Harper..._ so once I collected myself I can kick what I'm sure would be his naked, skinny muddy ass!.

but knowing that bastard,he'd think it was fucking foreplay... _argh._

It seemed like it took forever to leave the Forest before I reached the all familiar secluded Lake,and damn if it wasn't loaded with Waterfowl,Ducks and Geese alike,noisy too.

scanning over the scenery before me,I sat quietly on my mount who was just as vigilant as I was,holding her head high,nostrils twitching ,goading her onward we walked along the shoreline.

Finding a descent patch of beach,I dismounted letting Harper graze,I continued my scrutiny of the large body of water and its inhabitants.

something in the distance though had caught my eye,a disturbance of birds,either lifting off out of the water our squawking  irritably, perhaps a Fox looking for a meal?,or some Deer getting a morning drink?,placing a hand a above my eyes,shielding the light out,I narrowed them for a better look.

The Birds continued there flighty disgruntlement,that's when I heard it..distinctly, _splashing_ and this wasn't your normal sounding splashing of an animal, jogging a ways down the shoreline I went to investigate.

what I saw.. _what I thought I saw_ couldn't of been,.. _.someone_ was...swimming in the Lake,paying no mind I started walking into the water,hissing at the coolness of it,but proceeded.Getting closer I noticed something instantly,whoever it was,they were pale and... _oh..God..._ naked.

My attempts to get closer became desperate,and the Water slowed me down,so it was more like I was trudging through thick mud.As I neared I it was made clear... as the person rose from the water,giving the head a shake,then slicking their hair back.

"TOM!"

jerking his head in my direction,he looked puzzled for a moment, quickening my strides through the water such as it was,I was crying now, _you sonofabitch,_ it was agony but relief in those words, as I neared, he never moved,just watching me closely.

I was only few feet from him,anxious to touch him,feel his warmth again,to hear his voice,and a million other things that I couldn't put into words, _once last step and I was there._

and with what energy I had left in me I threw myself into him,wrapping my arms _so tightly_ around his waist I actually heard him grunt,the tears flowed freely,the sobbing heavy,rubbing my face side to side into the skin of his chest cooled by the water.

he seemed hesitant to respond at first,but then I felt hands stroking my hair,lightly.

_"Lily?"_

there was question in his voice when he spoke,... _oh God,had he been out here too long?,his mind slipping as it tended to do..,_ slowly looking up,my eyes widened the look I got in return wasn't from a man I knew, it was more.

_Feral._

 

_To be Continued..._


	12. Ghosts of Times Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A HEADS UP" depending on what you may consider "unacceptable" this Chapter is filled with various and plenty of sexual activity,among some "questionable behavior" on Tom's part and if you've been reading Tom and Lily's story since "Of the Bloodline" I really don't need to explain,but for those who might need a "refresher" on some things, Tom is an eccentric man having suffered a childhood trauma,living on his own in the wild for some time,so therefore he can be "primitive" if his mind snaps or...he's left to his own devices,so PLEASE take this in mind when you read this Chapter also "READ THE TAGS PLZ"....Thank You.

His face looked hardened,his stare. _.cold,_  his whiskers had grown,they hadn't seem to have been groomed,much like his hair, I went to move,that's when I felt a firm grasp on the back of my neck,holding me in place.

swallowing hard,I could only stare at him in return, _now what?._..does he even recognize me?,he said my name..but does he comprehend?..so many fucking questions and I wasn't sure what I was dealing with.. _or who._

Pulling me upright, our gazes never wavered, Tom's eyes flickered,a hand rose from beside me,taking me by the chin.

"what are you doing here?"

 _finally,_ he decides to make conversation,though the tone was filled with suspicion.

"um..I..I was horseback riding."

releasing my chin,he leaned in on me,his nose buried in my neck,he inhaled deeply..smelling,his nose trailed its way down,across my collarbone dipping down to. _.oh hell._

nudging himself between my breasts,I froze,letting him just. _.do his thing_ ,whatever the fuck that was?,stopping Tom pushed his nose into my left breast,give a soft snort,pulling his head back, giving me this weird look and then.

the sound of buttons being torn and pitting the water as they landed, yeah he had torn my blouse open,exposing my pink satin covered,milk laden mounds..going back to what he was doing,but this time,his nose while it was sniffing,rubbed against the flesh,bumping my nipple,giving me a jolt... _stop it Lily,this isn't the time to be getting turned on._

if this probing wasn't enough the next thing he did was enough to send me over,his mouth found the covered nub and sucked hard,then let go,his head raised up,eyes level with mine.

"Eithne"

there was no question this time,he had associated my lactation to an infant..triggering his memory. _.I hope,_ standing up fully,again staring at me,some of the coldness seem to have withdrawn from his eyes.

_"yes Tom..our Daughter"_

I yiped as he,without warning took me by the waist and swung me up over his shoulder,heading for the nearby shoreline,great.. _what the fuck?,_ this primitive presentation he had going on,I just hoped it would run its course soon.

 

Once on the shore he set me on my feet,discreetly I tried to cover myself with the remnants of what was once my shirt,Tom in all his naked majesty stood in front of me,once again seeming to study my person.

"go home Lily"

"go home?..no,you've got to be kidding" advancing on him foregoing my modesty, "I came out here for just a ride and found _you_ , if I go home asshole,you're coming with me"

tilting his head at my sudden aggression.

"you don't belong here"

"and neither do you, _dammit Tom_...I need you,Eithne does too,she misses her father"

taking the end of my hair,he began to twist it aimlessly around a finger.

"I miss you both too,but.."

I wanted nothing more than grab him by jewels if I had to,and drag him home, I missed him,needed him..the way we use to be _,maybe that's what I had to do_..show him..if not a small taste..of how it use to be, gawd this was all so weird.

"Tom...would you like me to remind you of how it was?, to show you _how we are together_..come home,be a father to our child,and..let me be your woman.. _please"_

I hadn't realized it,but I was now pressed up against him,my look imploring.

it was Tom's turn to advance on me,and he did,backing me up the beach until we reached an incline,and he purposely tripped me up,falling backwards,I no sooner was on the ground,and he was all over me, mouth devouring any of my exposed flesh, _god its been so long_.. I submitted to him without a second thought.

pushing my hips up,wanting what I knew he'd probably take in a harsh fashion more so than he'd normal go about it..but I didn't care and he made good on it,tearing off my clothes,until I was naked beneath him,my eyes zeroed in on the determined erection,fluid already leaking from the swollen purpling tip.

 _"take me"_ I whimpered.

nodding,but the hungry look he wore told me volumes... _hang on!_

 

Next thing I knew he had knelt down before me, placing his hands on my knees,lowering his head,he began nipping up my legs,sending shivers up to my belly,coiling.

the look on his face was unlike I ever seen on him, _feverish_ , moving closer to me,looking up over my breasts as he lifted his head once again, eyes hooded, mouth open,.. _oh hell he is in a feral state of mind,_ observing what he was doing, trembling, Tom lowered his head between my legs I could feel the hot puffs of breath on my sex, then...  he lapped at it eagerly, even tugged gently on one of my lips, groaning, growling, my hips bucked as I gasped.

Lapping turned to suckling, my gasps turned to moaning, then as suddenly as he assaulted my cunt, he stopped, flipping me over without any amount of gentleness to it, and without any warning he brutally shoved his cock into me.

_"kjhgfdfghjkjhgfdfgh!..fuuuck!"_

holding me firmly Tom savagely drove into me to the hilt over an over, there was nothing gentle or loving about it, I felt like I was being split in two.

And if that weren't enough, he pushed me further into the earth  making sure my ass was up, leaned over and bent my head down and sunk his teeth into the back of my neck, not letting go, I was immobile now.

 _Goddamn it_  !,if I didn't know him as well as I did I would think he wasn't fucking me,but an _unhealthy_ demonstration of...coupling with me!, _taking me from behind so forcefully, holding me in place with his teeth!, similar to animals!_

His hips moved like pistons as he was working my cunt at a mad velocity, his balls slapping my ass, releasing my neck I found that I was becoming aroused, my walls were responding to the pounding they were receiving, and I began panting, pushing my ass up into him, even trying to move with him, but that was ridiculous _Tom had the control here.  
_

feeling his cock beginning to spasm sent my body off and my walls convulsed, throwing my head back I wailed as the most powerful orgasm crash over me, Tom joined in, his was a loud howl, as he pushed his cock deep into me, grasping each of my ass cheeks, digging his nails into my flesh.

Collapsing onto my stomach, I felt Tom take me by my hips an gently turn me over, his fingers lightly dusting my body off of the dirt an tiny pebbles that had stuck to my now sweaty skin,then dragged a finger down my body as if inspecting it, when he reached my folds he leaned down parting my legs an made long calculated licks on my clit and folds.

The more I watched him I began to wonder.. _was he_.. _cleaning me?,_ covering my face with a hand, this was some weird shit _,what the fuck has happened to you in your absence Tom?_

 

Submerged to my neck in the cool water, eyes closed I knew this was a great idea, as it was I barely could walk as it was,well _it had_ been awhile after all, but my respite was short lived when Tom decided he was going to join me.

climbing over the top of me I was leery as to what he was up to, lowering himself into the water, I moved to sit up, but he stopped me, and sonofabitch if I wasn't right.. _round two,_ pressing himself down on me, he hiked one my legs up and gingerly slid his cock inside my already aching core, hissing my discomfort, I gave him a dirty look.

Slowly he moved inside me, but there was more, hovering over me his mouth found a nipple and then commenced suckling, I felt the sensation of milk coming out,we had engaged into this before,and both enjoyed it,but...this wordless _out in the middle of bum fuck Egypt sex ,_ was not something I was use to,the forest was one thing.

I was about to break the silence in this endeavor,the harder he suckled the faster his hips moved, and dammit, my body was responding , My hips undulated with his movements, I even began speaking, wanting more.

" _fuuuck..yes..please..Tom...more!"_

whether he was listening or not, he seemed to react to my breathy plea's, lifting my ass up with one arm his hips ground in deeper, making me yell my approval.

he suckled zealously, tugging at times on my nipple, it seemed as my arousal grew my milk supply did too, this pleased him, releasing my nipple at one point his head arched back, eyes closed.

_"uuhh..unf..fuck!"_

_he was there,_ so I encouraged him.

_"yes Tom, cum.. cum!"_

raising my hips above the water, I could feel his seed hot and explosive as the last time, filling me up as we cried out.

 

 _Spent_ wasn't the word, I laid naked on my back on the sand as did Tom, but he was on his side, staring at me, something _had_ changed in him.. with us, these carnal acts made it so,the way he looked at me was not like how a he use to looked at me after a passionate bout of sex, but.. _I wasn't sure what to call it_.

We had managed to make our way back to Harper who had been happily grazing,undistrurbed,so we left her that way,Tom went about building a small fire,this was surreal,here we were after months of separation, having found him by pure luck,we now sat butt naked on the shore of a Lake after reuniting in a _ahem,_ well in the way I knew Tom would find acceptable.

it was a good twenty or so minutes, before I saw Tom after had disappeared in to some Tree's _probably had to pee,_ but when I did... I knew something was up and it wasn't just his cock.

 _and it was,_ proudly bobbing side to side like an up ended pendulum as he slowly approached me.. uh oh, his face read like a book.

it had been nearly three months, no nursing which he was making up for upon me finding him,.. but, and from the look of that determined erection and in his eyes.. there was _more_ need to be.. sated.

his eyes never left me,licking his lips... should I actually run this time?, after such a hiatus from physical activities I had a feeling Tom's sex drive..was going to be tempestuous at best.

having some knowledge about his past and the animal-like qualities he had taken on as a boy,I knew it had stayed with him tucked away as he got older and now being alone as long as he had only triggered that primitive side,so I could only figure Tom knowing we were together,had a baby,he saw me _as his,_ and would treat me as such until the more domesticated Tom came through.

but until then,since there was a long _time off_  between us..Tom would want to re-stake his claim on me, ensuring any male in a 100 mile radius.. would know I was his,and if that meant fucking me until I was reduced to crawling, then I'm sure he could accommodate that,.. shit, I wasn't up for this primitive stuff.

and so it begins...having walked up to me,he reached out and gave one of my breasts a slap, nothing painful but enough to make me look at him in a manner that wasn't in his favor.. _.petulant move fucker._

"do it again and I'll slap your balls so hard they'll wrap around your neck"

the indignant look he gave me was almost comical if I wasn't serious,lowering his head, narrowing his eyes at me, I could tell this was going to possibly get.. painful.

Sitting down by the fire,trying my best not to get rocks and sand in my ass, unexpectedly he took his cock in hand and... put it in my face, looking at it, then up at him, he waved it at me an grunted... now he wants a blowjob?, _and whats with the fucking grunting?..he was talking earlier._

so what do I do?.. give in to it or risk having him possibly holding me down while he shoves that  down my throat?

Sitting on my knees taking his cock by the hilt,then stroking it slowly, his hand placed atop my head I ran the tip of my tongue over the tip of his dick, snaking it around the head giving a hard suck, Tom's hips jolted as he groaned, soon I had him in my mouth, his hand entangled in my hair, hips moving languidly.

the noises he was making as he pretty much was fucking my mouth actually had me getting aroused, I had been teasing his balls the whole time, and he had been keen too it,when his cock started pulsing and his howling began I knew, hot seed shot down my throat in ropes but I continued sucking on him until he was finished,he pretty much crumpled to his knees, breathing heavily, _well that's three for you..give it rest..but I was lying to myself,_  I wiped my mouth and stood up.

Tom grasped my ankle firmly, looking down, he was already looking up at me, slowly sitting up on his knees, I could feel his hand dipping up between my legs.I wasn't going to fight it, I actually wanted this, pushing me gently back down into the soft sand, Tom spread my legs,putting them over his shoulders,then buried his face in my cunt.

Tom was ravenous, lapping, licking as usual, but when he heard me whine, he slid me to the edge of his lap, turned me over, I raised my ass up, and.. without any decorum pushed himself inside me.

Holding me under my chin, his hips moved at a rate of speed that _I knew_ it going to leave bruises on my ass,pounding was putting it mildly, this bastard was on a mission.We both reached orgasm together, but Tom wouldn't stop, he just kept hammering into me,grunting, groaning, you name it whatever beastly noise a man could make ..he did, at one point Tom did stop, only to turn me over, hoist my ass up and  once again was inside, pounding into me fiercely until I almost couldn't take any more.

managing to get some sleep, napping in each others arms by the fire,how long I wasn't sure, but once I  woke fully I noticed Tom was standing next to Harper reins in hand.

"time to go home"

 _oh so you can still speak,_ I was about to protest when he climbed upon Harper,then outstretched his hand,did he?..was he?

...coming home.

 

Wrapped in a saddle blanket,due to that lack of clothing,hell I was just as bare as Tom was,I sat in front of him as we rode toward home...God does that ever sound good, _but not as much as it felt good._

We didn't drop Harper off at Kate's,instead put her up in the secondary Barn near the Cottage,Once in the Cottage I took a quick shower while Tom explored our bedroom,I had opted to bathe on my own due to the fact that had he joined me,I knew I'd wind up with a dick in me.

walking out of the bathroom, I headed towards the dresser, Tom was sitting on the bed as I passed by, there was a look on his face,..I should of known.

_smack_

_"ow.._ dammit Thomas!"covering the now stricken breast, _"that stung"_

  once again he slapped my boob, _the hell is with that anyways?  
_

_"ehehehehehe"_

"want me to do that to your balls?.. _.hmm?"_ the laughter stopped instantly,he looked contrite. _..not_ ,it was mischief all over this bastards face,"you've _marked me_ enough" pointing to my butt.

leaning sideways,Tom squinted his eyes, inspecting the black and blue bruises that were scattered,hips, and butt, a please smile reached his lips as he ran his finger tips gently across them.

 _"my Lily"_   he murmured with admiration.

"yes..your Lily, and if those aren't proof _,this"_ pulling my hair aside, "will definitely get the point across"

Tom now stood, examining the the swollen bite mark, he attempted to touch that too,but I pushed his hand away.

"no no. _.that one_..hurts,and I think you even drew blood"

I heard him disappear into the bathroom, rummaging around,moments later he came out.

"here" I felt a cool gooey sensation on my neck..salve, Tom with feather-like gentleness applied it,when he was done he proceeded to braid my damp hair.. _hes never done that before_ ,I didn't even know he could make a braid,finished with it,he draped it down the front of me."so it won't get into the medicine"

turning around, looking up at him,his act of tenderness moved me.

_"thank you"_

"you may have a scar..you know?"

"yeah,...but that's okay"

 

Finally getting Tom into the shower I got dressed, tidied up the house, started up dinner, when I discovered I had a visitor.

I was just coming from the Hallway when Ken poked his head in from the front door. _.oh man_ ,urging him to come in,he did.

"hey darling, how goes things?"

"oh, I'm good"

"brought ya some homemade bread" he held up a basket,"baked it this mornin',it's...."

his dialogue was cut short when a pair of boxer briefs came flying from the bedroom and landed half on my shoulder.

covering my face with a hand, _Christ,Tom!..you uncultivated Jackass, your timing is shit._

removing my hand,I saw that Ken was giving me a blank stare,now what do I say?,I was hoping to let him an Kate know about Tom..tomorrow.

"um Lily..ya have some boxers danglin' off ya shoulder"

"I realize that..um"

before I could finish,Tom waltzed out,completely starkers..

"not wearing those" he pointed to the briefs.

looking up at him annoyed, heaving a sigh of irritance.

 _"no shit"_ I gritted out.

"Tom?"

both looking to Ken, who was to say the least was..shocked,setting the Basket down he studied Tom as if he were seeing a Ghost.

"yeah, I was hoping to bring him by tomorrow, let him _settle"_

 _"settle?"_ Ken transferred his curious look to me, "what ya mean?"

taking the briefs off my shoulder slapping Tom with them, frowning at me he easily tossed them over his shoulder,giving me a _"what are you going to do about it?"_ look.

"stay" I ordered,holding a finger up to him.

"not a dog" he scoffed.

_beg to differ Thomas,sometimes you're more animal than man,like right now._

"Ken, he's not..altogether _..himself"_

"I figured, but how?...I mean ta say..." Tom abruptly interrupted our conversation by casually walking by,Ken looked away as he passed him, "feckin' show off that much hasn't change,prancin' around with his dangly bits fer all ta see..git anyways"

"true enough,but Ken, he's..well, _different_ this time, how do I say this?,he's.. _gone native"_

_"how native?"_

"well..um," _shit Lily just go for it,_ "we had _a reunion_ of sorts,and well", sliding my sweats slightly off my hip,exposing the bruises, Ken's mouth gaped open,"an I'll not show you the rest,those will be keeping me from sitting for awhile"

_"bloody hell"_

"not to get too personal,hes left bruises before..just not to this extent,and..it gets worse" moving my braid,I showed him the bite, "he's never done _that_ before"

 _"Christ Lily_ , by the looks of it he was down right...brutal, he practically mauled you"

"you could say that, but at the time..." god this was fucking embarrassing, "I was enjoying myself too much to care"

approaching me,Ken took both my hands in his,looking at me much like a father would.

"Lily, I knows the way young people are when they get,well...randy,I wasn't always this dried up ol'git ya see right now,but. _.there's a limit,_ ya can't be lettin' Tom do as he pleases or do it as aggressive as he pleases cause that's were his mind is right now or just because ya feel he may leave,or that it'll encourage him to .. _come around_ ,either"

I know what he was saying, but I wasn't doing it for any of those reasons,.. I just wanted to feel my man's _touch_ again,was that so bad?, yes the bruises were ugly and my muscles ached, the bite was unexpected.

but.. _I would do it all over again...well minus the bite._

 

_To be Continued..._


	13. Ghosts of Times Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "Heads up" from the last Chapter,goes for this one as well,I promise future chapters won't be so "alarming" like this one and the previous one,I apologize for my Muses "going places" :P

"No Tom..you have to put on some clothes"

staring at the naked indignant man sitting at the foot of the bed,arms folded tightly,giving me the crappiest look, _grumpy ass_.

"no"

"ugh..c'mon,Kate is bringing Eithne back today,I don't need you frolicking about naked"

he snorted,dropping his arms.

"I don't frolic"

 _"you won't be doing much of anything_ if you don't at least wear this" handing him a pair of his grey sweats."cause I'm about to kick your skinny ass"

he stood up now,we were flush against one another,trying to intimidate me with his height... _*snort*_

"speaking of asses,I ought to give that one of yours a slap" giving a lick to his bottom lip.

"I think you've left enough bruises on it,so..no"

"oh it isn't about marking you,I've done that" reaching around grasping the back of my neck firmly,tilting my head back, _"it's the pleasure in it..."_ his tone husky.

 _uh oh,better head this off,_ the passion in which he was exuding at this moment is just bad timing,otherwise. _.nevermind._

"not now,our daughter will be here any minute,so put your sex drive on neutral,and your dick away"

frowning at me,I reached back removing his hand from my neck, and backed away,giving a roll of the eyes...he was holding his dick, _why am I not surprised._

"later then?" he looked hopeful.

 " _Tom"_

"fine" he huffed, grabbing the sweats like a peevish teenager, walking away.

big baby.

 

Kate's arrival was eventful in that once she entered the house,she warily looked around,now certain Ken had told her about Tom,but Eithne was having none of it,the moment she heard me,the whimpering began.

that brought Daddy out,his head peering around from the hallway,concern on his face.

"Eithne?"

turning around fully,I held her out, when he cautiously approached her,Eithne let out a delighted squeal,Tom's eyes widened, _yes,shes grown, nearly four months old Tom...and you've missed the last three._

"she knows her Daddy" I smiled.

Kate and I stood just outside of the kitchen with our tea,watching Tom as he sat on the floor seemingly mesmerized by the infant sitting before him,waving her arms,babbling.

"shes sitting up Lily,an still _so tiny"_

"yeah,and she tries to say Momma, but it's more like _ba..ba!"_

leaning as far forward as her body would allow,Eithne started patting on Tom's hand,he watched her curiously,then for the first time,he picked her up,holding her up in front of him.

"Eithne"

_"ppphhhtttt..aaaaaaaa!"_

_oh boy_ she was excited now,her legs bicycling quickly,holding her close to him now I was amazed at the interaction,Eithne,calmed down, nuzzling at her fathers neck,making her _noises_ ,Tom gently rubbed he back swaying slowly side to side,she seem to ball up,as if cuddling.

 _"ehehehehehe,_ shes tickling me"

"she missed her daddy"

Tom's face dropped,looking contrite,he nodded,unable to meet my gaze.

"um..I'm going to take her to the nursery an play"

and he did just that.

Kate put a hand on my shoulder as we watched him leave,whispering to me.

_"its Tom..but not,ya get me meaning?"_

_"absolutely"_

 

Sitting in the kitchen eating biscuits with our tea,Kate wasted no time.

"Ken said Tom was...in an another _head space_ ,not sure what kind,but he was certain Tom had never acted like this before when he's snapped"

"yeah,Tom is more...primitive,gradually though he's more articulate,but just when I think he's coming back...his nature becomes raw again,hell I practically promised him..sex just to get him dressed, and not to give you TMI,it isn't like it use to be,that too has become primitive,he prefers nudity by the way,so careful on when you come over"

Kate took my hand,squeezing gently.

"love,don't let him hurt you,he's not himself..I know ya love that gangly git,ya have _more_ than proved that,just becareful..."

"Ken told you..about the bite an bruises..didn't he"

nodding,the disquiet in her eyes said it all.

"he's worried too Lily,what if Tom really hurts you when yas..intimate?,I'm assumin' hes only assertive then"

"yes,any other time he acts like a cross between controlling and a bratty kid" I shrugged, "but he does respect some things, ever since our last _,ahem_..encounter I haven't let him touch me in that way,though he pouts about it,he doesn't force anything"

 

It was a staring contest of sorts,between myself and this wee person,as we sat on the floor,the toy I had given her was of some interest,but I seem to be more. _..fascinating._

she indeed had grown, last I saw of her,Eithne was much tinier and usually suckling at Lily's breast,constant hunger it seemedand now my mind wanders,. _.hunger.._ that's what registered in my mind when Lily found me,but why was that?,..fuck,this fog my brain goes in out of...

 _because shes your Woman,_ my mind spoke... _that's why,no one else's..you needed to prove that to yourself and to her,_ and Lily didn't fight it,any of it,she was.. _._ obedient, _and_   _you like that,better when she doesn't resist,but a good scrap is also beneficial._

Looking down,I noticed Eithne managed to fall back on her pillow and was sucking on her fist,smoothing my hand across the dark red hair she had accumulated,playing with the tiny ringlets that were forming at the back of her neck... _like me._

_"you tired,little love?"_

her eyelids were growing heavy,and the suckling on her fist,slowed,carefully scooping her up,cooing, I laid her in the crib,covering her up,gazing upon Eithne as she yawned,.. _I still cannot believe Lily an I made this,so beautiful and perfect._

_unlike me._

 

 _The fuck is wrong with me?..why am I like this?_...pacing the darkened house,Lily asleep in bed,I was currently walking off an...erection,for some reason night time is when my drive really kicks in,and this was the third night in a row I have to walk off _these urges._

Morning greeted me with my eyes sleepily blinking, that's when I noticed..Eithne, she wasn't lying beside me,quickly looking up,my eyes widened,standing over me in just her pajama bottoms,Lily and cradled in her arms Eithne who was suckling at her breast.

"couldn't sleep I take it"

"no"

shit,I couldn't take my eyes off the scene before me,especially the unused breast,full,rounded and.. _.you like what you see,take it,_ god no not that fecking voice again!

"is something wrong?"

yes,I'm having a depraved thought right now Lily.. _.damn this felt shitty._

"maybe" _there was no maybe,_ my cock was rock hard under this blanket," it's...just at night I have these feelings"

"what kind?,tell me" Lily rocked the baby as she fed.

"Lily,every night..I..I want to take you,like I did at the Lake,but I fight it..its not normal,I know this now"

frowning she tilted her head.

"tell me whats.. _not normal"_

_alright if she really wanted to know._

"Lily..right now,I would love nothing more than to latch onto that other breast"

"um..well not with Eithne on the other one,that's... "

"wrong,but..I know its wrong,I won't"

quietly she stared at me, then walked over to the crib,detaching the baby,lying her down,walking over to me she outstretched her hand.

_"come on"_

Eyes closed  quietly I laid on my side beside her, nipple in my mouth suckling,flicking,a finger working her folds,losing myself in her panting,gasping,and whispering plea's to me, _the plan was to make her a wanton mess...it seems to be working so far._

raising my hands I motioned for her to come to me, taking her by the hips until she straddled my face her pussy was positioned right over my face, grasping her hips, pulling her down my tongue began swiping across her sex from hole to clit. _  
_

Saturated wasn't the word, my face was covered in the evidence of just how wet Lily was, I concentrated on the loud slurping sounds I was making,greedily feasting, my body began to shudder along with hers because of it.

stopping, I slid from beneath her, positioning her on all fours, widening her legs,I found myself staring at her _forbidden_ hole, _maybe later Tom_ , So I gradually sunk down inside of her core until I was fully seated, my hand wound itself in her thick sable hair until it pulled Lily's head back, while I rode her languidly.

 _"oooooh ttoo..Toooom.... Yeess"_ her moan soft,yet ragged.

I began to grind, almost losing my shit instantly, noises escaping my mouth were nothing more than lust fueled gibberish, _I fucking loved this, loved her,_  already I felt my seed running down the back of her legs.this was new, _I've never came without orgasm_ ,not that it wasn't building.

anchoring Lily in place, rutting now chanting  and grunting _"mine"._. cock stiffing,spasming,cumming already and it made her do the same, but I continued on working her beautiful  hole until we both had no more energy to keep it up.

or so she thought,releasing her hair I turned her around pushing her to the flat of her back.Lying my tongue flat swiping upwards,mouth enveloping her clit,..suckling on it like it were a nipple.

_"uuuuh..oh!..Tom"_

Looking up, our eyes met, and without a word, I slid two fingers in her, thrusting them in and out of her, while teasing her clit with my tongue.

_"yes Tom.. Yes!..faster please"_

And faster I got, fingers and tongue, it was almost too much, with her writhing about now, belting out a scream she came all over the place, no...she.. _squirted!_ , shes never done that before, I was practically fisting Lily as her orgasms rolled into her over and over,I never stopped until she begged me too.

Lifting my face..aw gawd, was I mess, but I couldn't be more pleased, toothy smile and all.. _Yes Tom you satisfied your woman, she screamed because of you, squirted because of you...she belongs to you.._.all mine,due to the mess she made,I only felt it right to do some cleaning, so I busily lapped and suckled and I tried not to make Lily cum, though I saw her thighs quivered with restraint.

coming down from her sexual high,I broached the question.

"darling,one of these times I want your..ass"

rolling on her side,peering through strands of hair hanging her face.

 _"you can have all of me Tom"_ she whispered hoarsely.

Damn,he didn't waste time,barely able to think and he asks me that?,but I really didn't mind...if that's what he wanted,I think the shape his mind is in, Tom saw that all of my holes needed to be claimed,he just better be gentle, _none of this animal like behavior._

 

As the night approached,I found Tom _in a mood_ of sorts, he ushered me back in the bedroom, where I laid on my side, him facing me once again, suckling at my more than heavy breasts, fucking me while he did it, leg draped over my hip for leverage,pumping eagerly into me.

we held one another tightly his mouth an tongue excitedly suckled my tit, drinking blissfully what my breast offered, _god what was with the nursing kink as of late?_ , hips twisted and grounding my ever soaking core, I panted my want to him he answered it wordlessly our orgasms rolled through us over and over we never stopped, just remained joined, continuing our sex play.

he wasn't kidding about wanting to take me at night,his appetite voracious...at one point we made eye contact that's when I realized, _you aren't dealing with Domestic Tom,..._ whats he up too?.. _more weird shit,what do you think Lily?_

Our activities went beyond the bed,at one point he pushed me up the against the wall, and slowly stuck his finger in my ass.. yeah, and it didn't stop there, he fingered it even added another finger working my asshole like a pro, _I knew_ the bastard was getting off on it, _I had my own reservations._

he had both my arms pinned behind me, pressing me into the wall the unmistakable sensation of his cock was sliding back an forth between my ass crack,using our cum as lube

With his thigh flush with my ass,cock buried in my crack, his rutting  between my butt cheeks was so strong now our bodies were jerking about in unison.

 _"aaah..uuuuuuuh"_ the man was blissed out, intoxicated by this act he was performing.

I was hoping he would cum soon, but what I hadn't realized was he had been cumming this whole time, but just kept at it, I only knew this when I felt a continuous onslaught of seed trickling from my ass and down the back of my legs.. _Oh gawd, what if he doesn't stop?_

his grunts were getting garbled, and he would try to push his cock deeper, _it couldn't go deeper,_ well it could,but I wasn't up to having any of that,not in the state of mind he was in,Tom's hips now where snapping upward, his cock pulsing/spurting his issue and yet he showed no signs of relenting, and then if this shit wasn't twisted enough, I found myself moving my hips in time with him, my own finger toying with an aching clit.

yes, I was starting to enjoy this fierce if not unusual conduct we both were engaged it, soon my ass was moving along with his, my finger furiously working my clit.

The wail that erupted from me surpassed _any_ of his, and with two sharp thrusts Tom, held my hips expelling his seed once again,his whole body,shuddering, slippery with sweat.

 _something clearly had changed in him_.. with us, these carnal and somewhat unconventional acts made it so,the way he looked at me was not like how a man looked at woman during and after a passionate bout of sex,I couldn't even begin to define it, the manner in which he went at me tonight was lecherous.

This went on all night, when morning had arrived,Tom was  asleep,  I was lying on my side,with Tom still inside me, _really?,we must of feel asleep right after,_ I  was beyond limp,sore didn't even begin to cover it,and I'd  be unable to fight back even if I wanted too should he wake and want to go at it again.

Pulling away slowly, he stirred enough that his cock disengaged, wincing as I slid out of bed, okay note to self. _.this shit isn't happening every night,I don't care if these "feelings" of his are powerful._

I literally was so sore I was sitting in the bathtub to take a shower,careful not to irritate the tender parts of me,carefully I unfolded my legs,gritting my teeth when the shower curtain was thrown open,I didn't even have the strength to yell in surprise.

Tom stood there,his face melted into a very rueful expression as he knelt by the tub.

" _aw darling,..I"_ squeezing his eyes shut,head lowered _"I should of never came back"_

_Domestic Tom was back,leaving the darker one behind in the blackness of the night_

_...waiting for him._

 

_To be Continued..._


	14. Ghosts of Times Past

Walking into work I wasn't sure how to go about it,I just knew that Lennox  and I needed to have a chat,as it was he didn't even know Tom was home now,this could get interesting..or not.

Sitting in front of his desk,Lennox handed me a cup of tea before he went and sat behind it,he seem to be in good spirits.

"I take it the few days from work has been fruitful"

yes and no.

"it was..eventful" wearing a weak smile,"a reason why I needed to talk to you"

"okay,Lily did something unpleasant happen?,you look tense"

 setting my tea down, I got up and started to pace the room,Lennox watched me carefully.

"um..well,let's see.."

he put a hand up,stopping me.

"forgive me,but alls well with Baby,is she okay? I assume shes with Kate since you didn't bring her today"

looking over at him,guess I'll just cut to the chase,maybe it'll be less difficult.

"Eithne's fine,and no shes not with Kate...her father is watching her"

I never seen that man move so quickly,he was already away from his desk and coming towards me.

"Lily..when did this happen?"

"actually it happened two days into the respite you gave me, I went horseback riding,just to get out of the house,I was walking along that Lake where Ken first saw Tom...that's where I found him,swimming/bathing "

"Lily.. _how is he?"_ this was the shrink talking now.

"ah..I'd say a bit on the barbaric side,he has his rational moments,but he insists on being naked in the house" I groaned,"though I've managed to get him to wear sweats at least"

Lennox now sat in a chair,never taking his eyes off me.

"barbaric with rational moments?" he nodded,"that doesn't sound too...balanced,two behaviors that contradict one another,is one more prominent than the other?"

shit...

"yes,but only towards the evening,Tom notices it himself,he uh..well" clearing my throat, "gets amorous shall we say.. _very_ amorous"

my body was still recovering after three days,walking has gotten easier _*sigh*_

"Tom has always been a sensual creature, with a craving for the fleshy things when it concerns women,but I have a feeling he has broaden his activities as of late,am I right?"

"sorta, its his libido,its heightened significantly,like I said towards the evening is when it kicks in,Tom is actually concerned about it,that.." how do I say this?,looking away nervously.

"he's hurt you,unintentionally,but it happened,he's worried that'll happen again,but with a more damning outcome"

meeting his gaze I nodded _,he gets it,_

"he thinks he should of never came back Lennox,he was frightened _the day after,_ seeing me"

Lennox sat quietly,being thoughtful,I could practically hear the gears in his head.

"you think he'd object to a visit?,it may be easier if I come over,than for him to come here"

"I couldn't say" giving a shrug,"maybe he'll talk to you beings you both have known each other for a long time,and you having been his Doctor"

"then I'll do just that,drop by"

something else was on my mind,bugging me.

"Lennox...have you heard anything about that man I saw at the Pub?,I want to take Tom into town,help that rational side of him to grow,hopefully push the uncivilized part out,but I'm afraid too,I don't want to chance Tom seeing this guy"

"no,and I did contact your friend Rory who owns the Pub,he'll call me if/when this person shows up again,but so far...nothing,though I'm beginning to wonder Lily, this man if he's Tom's father,perhaps _he knew_ who you were,and saw you with Kate and it only confirmed his suspicions,so he's..hiding"

"well Kate was certain it was him,totally was acting weird when I got in the car,but I hadn't realized it until she finally told me later"

pouring himself more tea,he heaved a troubled sigh.

"she told me too,I even thought about going to the Pub myself,but I have a feeling if hes who we think he is, _he'll know_ who I am,when Tom was found it was in all the newspapers,my name is some of those articles,and a picture or two"

finally able to sit,I took a seat across from him.

"that's possible,but Lennox..how would he know who I was?"

"I'm assuming he's been around the area for awhile,there's a good chance he's been watching Tom,all he had to do was find Ken's place and everyone pretty much knows everybody in that town,it wouldn't be hard,that and he knows Kate and where she lives,that's probably where he saw Tom and you"

"he knows Kate?" she never told me that.

Lennox crossed his legs,clearing his throat.

"um,how do I put this?...let's put it this way,you know Tom's past with women,well where do you think he got it from?,Tom's father had a bit of a reputation of being a womanizer,married or not,and Kate back in the day was  a Barmaid at one of the Pubs, seems Tom's father was trying his hand at..well"

"you're kidding,she didn't..." I did not want to think about it.

"no..she in her indelicate way told him she wasn't interested,she knew what he was all about"

 _you mean Kate called him a wanker before telling him to piss off_..I could see that.

 

"So how was work?,Lennox try to analyze you..ehehehehe"

looking over my shoulder,I couldn't help but smile,Eithne was asleep,draped over Tom's shoulder,he cradle her butt.

"no he didn't,and work was boring as hell,spent most of my time revising patient records,how was your day?"

gently bouncing Eithne as he looked down at her.

"she kept me busy,shes managed to learn how to roll,it was funny,then I took her out to see the cows and pigs,she seem to like it,though I think shes not overly fond of pigs"

"neither am I,so I can't say I blame her,smelly bastards"

"ehehehehehe,especially _their drinking water"_

he was reffering to when he dumped my ass in the pigs water, resulting in our first kiss.. _gawd that was nasty stuff,the kiss..mmm yeah._

"funny Tom, that was mean"

approaching me,running a finger down my cheek.

"it was,but you dared me, if I remember right Lily..after dunking me in that crap,that was when I was hooked,tasting your pretty mouth for the first time"

"and here we are a year later and we have a daughter" patting lightly on Eithne's butt.

"yeah, we are a family..my family" his voice lowered,"thank you Lily"

"for what?" taking his hand giving a peck.

"for everything,..I mean look at me, I'm fucking mental Lily, I should of been locked up,even now I question myself"

sliding an arm around him,resting my head on his chest,I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair.

"we'll get through this Tom,we always seem too,trudge through shit,and we still are here,just know I love you and I won't give up, _and just so you know._..locking you up would be the worst thing to happen"

"I'm not so sure anymore,but having my girls" he gave me a squeeze,"makes me want to better myself as a man"

 

I was surprised when I had told Tom I invited Lennox over for Dinner,he actually was keen to it,so much so he took another shower and..wait for it... _.he wore clothes!,_ actual clothes as in black jeans and a long sleeve charcoal grey sweater that had a zipper up by the collar,even trimmed up his goatee,then he went about bathing Eithne and dressed her up as well.

Eithne wore a sweater as well,pink with little dark blue hearts all over it,and dark blue stretch pants,and he even combed her hair,putting a little pink Bow tie clip in it,he was being a dad, _was he coming around?,_ I hope this was a sign.

When Lennox did arrive,Tom was still in the nursery doing some "touch ups" on Eithne.. _touch ups_ as in Eithne was not cool with the hair clip and insisted on yanking it out,tossing it on the floor with a firm _"BAH!",_ Tom even resorted to putting the clip in his hair showing our daughter how pretty it was,trying to sway her...she wasn't buying it.

"Lily,I'm convinced Eithne is you all over, its taken me a half hour to get her to not..rip that clip out taking her own hair with it,shes stubborn,like you"

Lennox stood up from where he had been sitting,his eyes studying the man before him holding the slightly fussy baby.

"Thomas" he smiled warmly.

"oh hey,Lennox" he held Eithne up,with her hair clip precariously dangling from her hair,"I tried..shes not quite enthusiastic about accessories"

chuckling,Lennox nodded,reaching over tickling Eithne under her chin,she gave him a cheerful wave of her arms and _"ooohhh..aaaaaa"_ then gurgling.

"and how are you little miss?,giving daddy grief are we?" he cooed.

"you have no idea" Tom rolled his eyes.

"wait until shes a teenager Thomas,grief is only the beginning,enjoy her now,when shes gets into her teens, you'll go from that guy who puts things in my hair I don't like to an asshole"

walking into the room,grinning.

"he's right Tom,I watched my friends do it,complete little witches to their dad's"

"well that's not right,I just want to make sure my baby is safe,loved,well groomed and all that is good for her" his brows furrowed," so you're telling me it only gets worse,and she'll eventually turn into a snotty little shit?"

Lennox and I laughed at the curious look on Tom's face,turning Eithne around he looked at her.

_"pppphhhttt"_

giving her a disapproving look.

"that's not a proper thing for a little lady to do" Eithne did it again, "fine.. _pppphhhhttt!"_

she belted out a squeal,kicking her feet wildly,Tom looked around her at us,with a raised brow.

"she doesn't give a shit Dad,almost four months old she shouldn't have too" I snickered.

After Dinner,we all settled in the Living room,minus Eithne who feel asleep halfway through our meal,I was waiting for Lennox to _get to the matters at hand,_ see what was really going on with Tom,it didn't take long.

"so Thomas,..I was going to ask how things were since your return,which by the way I'm curious about why you left too"

draping an arm around me,I snuggled in closer. _.I'm here Tom,_ taking a hold of his other hand,shifting his body,the first sign that he was anxious,but when he spoke..it was not what I expected.

"I'm...unsound Lennox"

"why do you say that?,have you done something erroneous?" 

I don't know how Lennox does it,just casually asking someone "so did you fuck up?" even the tone of his voice was..relaxed,without implying anything.

Tom's arm tightened about my shoulder.

_"I hurt Lily"_

this Lennox knew,without the crude details.

"did you now?,how so"

Tom looked at me,there was so much going on behind those azure eyes,but it was the distress I saw clearly in them,giving him a nod for him to proceed,he did.

"well first of all I..I bit her _hard_ ,on the back of the neck,I mean love bites are one thing,but shes going to have a scar Lennox" removing his arm from me now,"show him Lily"

pulling my hair aside I turned lowering my head ,Lennox came over,inspecting it closer,gently moving my hair,I knew it was ugly,some of the divots where Tom's teeth had broke the skin were scabbed up.

"my..that is a serious bite,looks to be healing well,keeping it clean I assume"

"Lennox,its appalling..." running both hands roughly through his hair.

"why did you do it,at least why so impassioned a bite?"

pacing the floor,waving his arms about as he just poured it out.

"we were..being intimate,and I don't know,its like I blacked out,but not..shit,I was aware of what I was doing,I wanted to do it I was so fucking aroused..so damn determined to mark her" he gave me that remorseful look again,"and when we came back here...it started,always in the evenings, _wanting her,_ I had to refrain giving in to that urge...anyways,I told Lily and one night..gawd, I went at her so voraciously,it went on _for hours_ Lennox, and she let me..never complaining..but by morning I  had pretty much crippled her,she could barely move"

"Territorial"

Tom and I looked at  one another then the shrink.

"what?"

"Tom in some animal species..mating/sex is form of being territorial,you were defending what you felt belong to you..Lily,yes its barbaric,but it is you we are talking about Thomas, the dissertation I could do on you alone as my subject" smiling he shook his head, "as I was saying,mating, place of dwelling and where you eat, territory is a place within which all your activities occur with Lily, Tom...you know how your mind...wanders"

Tom nodded, we all knew.

"you mean totally go off the grid" he grumbled.

"something like that, anyways..when _the Tom_ everyone knows disappears..you revert to a more animal-like way of things, I preclude that unattended to wild boy I met all those years ago, may have something to do why its _so easy_ for you to do so"

"so what you're saying is, cause of how his mind wanders it naturally goes to his..primitive side,mind and body?,that's where this _urge_ he gets, is from" 

"yes, that's it"

Tom squatted in front of him.

"you couldn't of narrowed it down,without the college course you just had us take?"

"you know me Thomas,anytime I can turn to my book learning to explain things" he chuckled,"sorry about the long winded explanation"

"it was..clinical" Tom now sat next me,"for few I thought I was a kid again,and you were rambling on in that analytical crap"

It was when Lennox was leaving,Tom excused himself to attend to the wailing child in her nursery, _nice timing my child._

we were standing at the front door,Lennox turned,facing me with a troubled look on his face.

"Lily...if you need anything,please call"

"uh,yeah..want to clarify what you mean and where its coming from?"

"for one thing,that bite on your neck...granted I'm relieved that Thomas acknowledges how violent he was with you and is remorseful,but I think this whole thing with the stranger possibly being his father is unlocking _all kinds_ of hell in that boys mind"

 

Watching as Lennox was about to get in his car,I stepped out,I needed a word.

"Lennox"

"Thomas..what are you doing out here?"

"I over heard part of your discussion with Lily,you maybe right about some of those things you said..but I know something you all aren't privy too"

genuinely interested,he leaned on the cars opened door,listening.

"and what is that Thomas?"

 _"that stranger._.he's my father,I saw him myself" 

Lennox straightened,eyeing me curiously.

"you're certain?"

"he's been staying at..  _the house"_

"Thomas,..you've not approached him have you?"

giving a snort,I shook my head.

 "no,but the day Lily found me...that night I had plans to go and burn down the house with him in it,destroy him like he did my mum,sisters...me,the shitty thing of it is...I wished he had killed me too, _I hate_ what I've become,because of that sonofabitch"

"do not sell yourself short, you've survived a heinous life,witnessing such atrocities that most people couldn't fathom let alone survive themselves"

"nice words Lennox,but we both know.. _.I'm not normal"_

 

_To be Continued..._


	15. Ghosts of Times Past

It was a staring contest and the Infant propped up in the corner of the couch didn't seem intended on losing,her big blue eyes fixed on me,with her tiny tongue poked out of her equally tiny lips, I matched her by sticking out my tongue.

_"aaaa"_

so I repeated what she did.

"aaaa!"

_"pphhtt!"_

well that was..rude.

"ppppphhhhtttt!"

ooppss..I sprayed spit on her,shit..Lily would be pissed if she saw that as I quickly tried wiping Eithne's face.

waving her little arms randomly I picked her up.

"it was an accident"

one of her little hands caught on my chin whiskers,tugging as Eithne happily babbled her nonsense,then she made the rude noise again,but it didn't come from her mouth and it was accompanied with a. _.smell_ ,wrinkling my nose I held her away from me.

"my child..that.. _ew"_ either she pooped or it was her worst fart to date,and it only got worse, "LILY!"

coming from the hallway with some dirty laundry,Lily looked at me concerned.

"what?"

"um..I think,well..the baby smells like crap"

rolling her eyes she groaned.

"Tom, shes an infant,they do that,get a nappy an wipes and clean her up"

narrowing my eyes at her,she really didn't expect me to do that..did she?

"Lily"

_"Tom"_

I guess she did.

 _oh my god!_..this is fucking foul _,no Eithne!_..what part of nappy changing does it require the child putting their hands in the shit?. _.aw man..no!..ew!.._ and yet here I am fending my daughter off as her little  hands wildly went about between her legs playing in her poop,totally entertained by this.

 wrinkling my nose trying to capture her little crap covered hands with a wipe..unsucessfully I might add,while she squealed happily.

 _"Eithne..please.._ Lily!"

in a matter of seconds she was in the doorway of the nursery instantly laughing.

"oh geez, the hell Tom"

"oh sure blame me" looking over my shoulder,while holding Eithne by her ankles trying to avoid the poop,"shes the one with the shit not me"

 _"ahahahahaha!._.well the point is to clean it,not let her get in it,or for you to wear it"

"funny,I was,but she insists on playing in it no matter what I do"

walking over,Lily took Eithne's ankles from me and some wipes.

"what are you doing little girl?" she cooed in a silly tone,"that's _nasty poo poo"_

Eithne gurgled with a laugh,while Lily like a pro managed to wipe her down in no time,frowning I felt like a tit.

"sure..make it look easy" I threw up my hands,"here I am with spots of baby poop all over my hands and wrists"

"you'll get the hang of it,just takes practice,like everything else concerning her...think when I first breast fed her was easy?"

"well.. _yeah"_

giving a snort she shook her head.

"may of looked that way,but it hurt like hell for awhile" then she pointed at me,"and now I have _you_ hanging off my tit too..you and your weird fetishes"

"what?..it tastes good,and I don't linger more than a minute" I defended.

 _"primitive fucker"_ she smirked.

"I like your titties" offering her a toothy smile.

"yeah,well between you an Eithne you both are chaffing _my girls"_

reaching over giving one of Lily's "girls" a subtle squeeze.

"I'll get some cream for them,Ken uses some on the cows _and_ sows when they have calves and piglets"

oh wow,now the look I got from that statement,I think my dick just disappeared.

 

Climbing out of the shower I was met by Tom who had been trimming his goatee, handing me a towel his eyes fell on my ridiculously sized breasts maxed with milk.

"ehehehehe...looks like Eithne is due for a feeding"

 _"uh huh..you don't have to tell me"_ I groaned as I went about drying them.

making a half turn,he gave a repetitive back an forth playful pat to one of them,making it jiggle about.

"hey!,want me to do that to your balls Hiddleston?" this must of been my hundredth threat to his boys.

sliding his sweats down,exposing himself.

"if it'll make you feel better?"

"I swear to Christ you must of slipped and bumped your head on a stump or something while you were gone in the last three months, _no man_ in his right mind drops his pants and offers up his balls for sacrifice"

"for you... _anything"_ it was one of his cheesy smiles.

keeping eye contact with him I reached under,giving his _..boys_ a bit of a _pat_ ,grinning,his eyes widened significantly, not expecting that move.

"mmmm,I think they've gotten bigger" and I sauntered out into the bedroom swaying my hips,grinning the whole time.

 _"hey!..they have not_ ,my dick has though _..see!"_ he called after me.

I knew better than to turn around.

 _"not!._.going there Tom"

 

"You look rested"

craning my neck around to see Lennox walking into the Clinic I cocked a brow.

"is _that_ what you call it?"

"well,your color is back,the twinkle has returned to your eyes,and you hold your head up higher"

"your shrink is showing"

dropping his head back he laughed.

"I suppose it is"

"and I don't know if you'd call it.. _rested_ ,lately its like living with a adolescent boy"

 "oh?"

"yeah,just this morning..he made fun of my breasts cause they were engorged,then went about batting them around,so I threatened to do the same to his testicles"

Lennox hung up his coat,looking over his shoulder,grinning.

"let me guess,he offered to let you do the same to his. _.Lads"_

"bingo" holding up a finger indicating he was correct.

 chuckling as he shook his head .

"I think he may of had motive Lily,as _you know_ Tom is a man who leans towards the bodily appetites"

"hmm, yes..and  as you guessed I made the mistake of telling him I'd do the same thing to his.. _Lads_ as he did to my breasts...so the git exposed himself,and I did the unlikely" I folded my arms wearing a self satisfying smile.

"oh Lily.. _no"_

"oh yes Doc.. _I did,.._ of course it didn't really phase him,so I commented that I thought his testicles have.. _grown_ ,he was offended,..thought if anything,his penis grew" I couldn't help but laugh now,and Lennox actually joined in at this point.

When lunch time rolled around,Lennox invited me to join him at the Cafe he always went to just down the street,I went gladly,it had been awhile since I had.

"so, other than this mornings..humorous episode,how are things with Tom?,have they settle down?,I know he had some concerns last I was there"

"yes, he's toned down his..venereal acts,in fact he barely touches me"

which was true,the bruises have since healed,but the bite on the back of my neck as we both knew had indeed become an obvious scar,and has affected Tom.

"I feared this would happen, when I saw that bite..and I'm assuming its regarding that"

I nodded.

"its is"

"does he still have trouble at night with his sleeping patterns?"

"a bit" I winced,this was still uncomfortable to discuss even if Lennox knew us as well as he did,"I try..that is,I offer to alleviate his.. _dilemma"_

"does he respond to your offer?"

"he appreciates it when I do ask,but..no"

 "I believe, he fears he'll hurt you worse than he has"

"yes" I sighed, "I thought about that too,I even asked him if that was his concern...he just got pissy and went out into the front room to sleep,or in the Nursery"

placing a hand of comfort on mine,Lennox

"darling,he's _trying_..trying to tap into that.. _tamer_ side of himself,he knows its there and knows its the acceptable behavior,let him try at his pace...if it starts to cause problems...let me know"

 

I wasn't sure if the fact that I kept returning to this Office annoyed me or not?..it wasn't like I was here for professional reasons,but I did have some questions...and I needed someone to talk too

shit.

"I can't honestly say I'm not surprised to see you here..cause I am"

"you are?"

wow,for once I had the old shrink.

"yes,please Thomas,have a seat" he gestured to a chair,"I take it Lily doesn't know you're here"

"uh..no,her and Kate took the baby to the Doctor for a checkup she was due for"

"I see,is there something bothering you in particular? or did you get bored and just wanted to hang out and have a spot of tea with your old Psychiatrist?" he sat back in his chair,with his fingers interlaced in his lap, smirking.

cheeky old fart.

"funny..but I have chores back at home that would more fun than hanging out with my old shrink and having tea with him"

Lennox chuckled,nodding.

"alright Thomas,tell me..whats going on then?"

"I'm worried"

"about?...."

 "myself..I..I don't know if I'll hurt Lily..anymore"

"you mean when you are..intimate?,or all the time?"

this was shit,talking to Lennox should be easy,he knows everything about me,but.. _.sigh._

 _"intimately_ "  I murmured looking away I felt like tit now.

"have you been intimate as of late?"

rubbing my hands across the tops of my legs.

"not really, I mean..I'm playful with her,but it never ends up being sex,I just don't want to hurt her again"

"I see,tell me Thomas,if you don't mind..what do you do that is playful?"

he would ask.. _great._

"um,I don't know tickle her,be suggestive" I shrugged

 leaning on his desk,oh hell hes about to get all analytical on me.

"Thomas..what else?"

"well..there is this _one thing"_ god I don't want to go there,"but.." looking away I was not sure how to go about saying anything.

"go on,I'm not here to judge you..feel free to speak,it goes no further than this room"

looking back to him,swallowing hard.

"um..well, sometimes I don't even realize I do it,other times I do,but...when Lily an I are sleeping together, I.. I like suckling on her breasts and sometimes fall asleep doing so" wincing I looked at Lennox, "its a kink of mine I guess?"

 the man was smiling..what?

"Tom...its more common than you think,and I find comfort _that you_ find comfort and or release in such an act"

"well, Lily doesn't mind and sometimes...it added to the sex when we were having it..is that weird?" suddenly I did feel weird asking that.

"no Tom, all kinds of sexual activity which includes the woman's milk happens more than you think, after a woman gives birth, since many women experience a let-down reflex when sexually aroused, is pretty common"

"so..I'm not.. _a freak?"_

smiling he reached over patting my arm.

"no..by no means _are you that"_

heaving a huge sigh,I rubbed at my chin whiskers,Lennox noticed my relief,smiling vividly. _  
_

"you've no idea how much of a load has been lifted..I felt so _vile,_ Lennox"

"unnecessary,glad I could help"

"yeah..but like I said when we last spoke..I'm just not normal,and what we just talked about,it only made me feel even more so"

 Lennox reclined in his chair,his who facial expression changed.

"speaking of which,you haven't gone back to that house or seen..your father..have you Thomas?"

"no,I didn't like what I. _.almost_ became when I did..I'm still,not myself Lennox and it bothers me,what I did to Lily is proof alone what I can be"

"tell me Thomas. _.do you know_ what you can be?"

quickly rising to my feet,leaning onto his desk with my hands,looking him in the eye.

"yes, I've heard it called the Beast within..for me that means, an inhumanly cruel, violent, or depraved person,and that's not someone that should be in loose in the general populace Lennox"

giving me a sidelong glance,almost thoughtful.

"no Thomas..they should not"

 

                                                                            _To be Continued..._


	16. Ghosts of Times Past

"That went well,didn't it?"

holding Eithne up in front of me,told me my question was inconsequential and she could care less,she looked quite unamused..hmm,alright,I was only referring to her Doctor appointment and she was,as archaic as it sounded "fit as a fiddle" or so the Doctor said.

"okay missy,don't know about you,but I'm hungry,I say we go see Rory for a bite to eat,besides its been awhile since he's seen you,and its just you and I with Kate deciding to go and visiting friends since we're in Town"

_"pppphhhtt"_

rolling my eyes as I wrinkled my nose.

"you really need to work on that..fart noises _is not_ a form of speech Eithne"

 

Having found a place to park,and now lifting Eithne out of the car, her face suddenly lit up an squealed,she began to babble as I put her over my shoulder.

"oh so _you can_ make more noises than raspberries,that's a relief"

it was when I heard someone behind me, interacting with Eithne, a masculine voice,I also picked up on a spicy scent,narrowing my eyes I discerned it was an older English accent.Turning around I pushed myself back against the car suppressing a scream _..him_

 _the same blue eyes,face,height,well defined cheek bones,even his hair with its gray/white waves an curls, styled the same.._ this time I took more of a mental and visual inventory,he was an older version of Tom right down to the large hands and elegant fingers... _elegant fingers that only moments ago had been playing with my daughters fingers as if it were nothing._

"I'm sorry darling,I didn't mean to frighten you,but I thought I remembered you from last time you were here at this Pub"he glanced at Eithne smiling warmly"however she was but a wee thing then"

now what?..this definitely was Tom's father there was no denying it,and here I was with my child standing only inches from him..a Psycho, who murdered his family with the exception of his only son who didn't escape totally unscathed,his mentality was always in question,now _this_ man man who for years was presumed..dead,how was it he always found me an no one else?,I wasn't part of the grisly past he created.

"wha,..what do you want?"

he could see my demeanor was different from last we met,his eyes squinted..studying me,lifting his chin I saw those eyes change their color right before me,it was enough to make my skin prickle.

"just curious as to how things were going?, hadn't seen you in Town much"

what,is this bastard keeping tabs on me?,I want to run.. _.I need to run._

"um..things are fine"

"and your man..is he well?"

I froze..he was asking about Tom,he knew he survived, _fuck_ was he going to try and hurt him?,me?..our daughter?..oh god.

"ye..yes..um..look,I need to go" quickly I brushed by him,holding Eithne close ,I practically ran into the Pub.

Once inside I backed myself against the wall holding Eithne firmly to me,my heart pounding in my chest, _please please don't follow me you monster,_ she stirred about making her soft noises,holding her up in front of me.

_"you alright button?,momma's sorry,didn't mean to scare you"_

It was about thirty minutes but I breathed easier when I saw Lennox walk through the door and we made eye contact.

"sorry I would of been here sooner,but I had a bit of an obstacle to deal with before I could leave" taking a seat across from me.

"I'm sorry,did I interrupt you with a patient?"

"uh..no,not really,a former patient" he smiled,"Tom"

I didn't expect that and suddenly I was worried,Tom just didn't up and decide to visit Lennox...unless.

"oh?"

"he just wanted to talk Lily and somehow by the looks of you.. you need me more than he did,and you didn't sound well on the phone either"

looking at Eithne who slept next to me,then back to Lennox,I heaved a sigh thats when the tears poured out.

 _"Lennox..he's here,in Town,I was getting the baby out of the car and he was right behind me"_ I spoke hurriedly.

 putting a hand on mine as they were trembling almost uncontrollably,squeezing,trying to calm me.

 _"sshh,hey hey"_ he whispered, _"he?..he who?"_

"Tom's dad..he's here in Town,he asked about me,how I was doing,and..and asked about Tom.. his exact words were _and your man..is he well?"_

his eyes enlarged,straightening his posture,staring hard at me,the unease was clear.

"Lily..are you"

 _"Dammit Lennox..it was him!"_ I snapped, "he was right here" I put a hand in front of my face, "it was like looking at a much older,but well preserved version of Tom..he..he has _his eyes"_

 "alright Lily, _please_..calm yourself," stroking his chin he looked out the window thoughtfully.

"I'm worried about Tom, his father knows hes alive,he knows Eithne is his daughter..he knows _everything"_ the panic in my voice was near hysterics, _"Lennox..he touched my baby"_ tears welled up.

 _"little girl calm down_ ,I understand your panic" he sighed, _"now_..pick up Eithne, we need to get Ken,Tom and Kate and meet up..now. _.are you hearing me?"_

I nodded, but was terrified,I really didn't want to go back out those doors.

 

Sitting in Kate's kitchen,it's been a long time since I sat in here,Lennox was on his cell talking to someone, I already had tea and coffee ready,the one thing going through my head was Tom.. _he was going to loose his shit_ , and the more I thought about it the more I was losing my own shit.

getting up I began to pace the kitchen frantically,chewing on my fingernail,Lennox entered the kitchen slipping his cell in his coat pocket.

"Lily"

"huh?" I continued pacing,never looking his way.

"darling?..what is it?"

 "Lennox this isn't going to be good,it's ..its" I stopped pacing,looking him in the eye,my voice shook as I spoke _"Tom's going to leave again and this time he's not coming back"_

  _"no,no,no.."_ he put a hand on each of my shoulders, "Lily. _.not this time_ ,think.. this transgression and Tom will look at it as that,took place close to home,and in this.. _primitive state_ he's in as of late...he'll see it as this menace has made an intrusion on his..territory... _he'll stay to protect it"  
_

it made sense..but would Tom really see it that way?,his mind was all over the place,he may just snap really bad this time...and that'll be it.

"I hope you're right Lennox...I can't take this shit anymore"

Tom was the first to arrive with Ken an Kate close on his heels, when he entered the kitchen he was all over me,caressing my face,checking me over,asking questions...Lennox hadn't told him anything..only that he needed to get his butt over here and to make haste.

"what the bloody hell is going on?"

Ken's voice could be heard from the front door along with Kate.

"put a sock in it Ken a get ya arse in there"

 By the time Lennox and I finished telling them what transpired in Town,Ken was practically holding Tom back from going out the door.

 _"you don't understand"_ Tom growled between gritted teeth,thrusting a finger at me, _"that is my woman_ ,and that sonofabitch was near her!..and.." he held his head up, "Lily..wheres the baby?"

"in my old room sleeping in the bassinet"

pushing Ken gently aside he stormed off in that direction,with me right behind him.

 Upon entering the room,Tom looked down into the bassinet,Eithne was still sleeping,sucking contently on a balled up fist as usual.

with tenderness,he picked her up,his forehead and nose wrinkled,looking over at me,frowning.

_"what?"_

"he touched her" taking her other hand smelling it.

"yes,her hand,..but I didn't know it,until I turned around."

"I know that _clove scent_ anywhere, fucker had the balls to put _his hand_ on my child... _he did it on purpose"_

 "why..why would he do that?"

 _did I really want to know?.._ holding Eithne close to him now,rubbing her back,swaying gently.

"his way of saying. _.yes son,I'm here and I'm very much alive.._ what that barmy bastard hasn't realized...I've known this for awhile now"

"you..have?" my eyes widened with surprise.

Tom's eyes wandered up from the bundle he was holding,when are eyes met,I wasn't sure if I should be concerned. _.or pissed?_

"yes" his eyes darted away

"oh no Thomas. _.yes_.. _doesn't cut it_ ,we are going to discuss this"

pissed it was.

 "not now Lily"

"yes now, is that why you took off this last time?..cause you knew it was him I ran into at the Pub the first time awhile back, and you were going after him"

laying Eithne back in the bassinet,covering her up, he stood giving me one of his _"I'm going to dominate this situation"_ looks,well..we'll see about that you primitive fucker,think you can go native on me.. _think again._

standing my ground,arms folded tightly,leaning against the frame of the doorway,glaring hotly. _.bring it Tarzan._

"goddamn it Lily,just wait a minute.."

"no _you_..wait a minute" I advanced on him pointing a finger hard into his chest,"I've been through _some shit_ in the last year and yet I keep coming back,..and all because of these damn secrets you keep from me,well no more.."

 the look of panic overtook his face,his mouth slightly parted.

"Lily.."

 _"no!._..don't try to placate me with kind words and sympathy, _its shit Thomas_ ,you left me an our Baby for nearly four months,I was grieving the whole time thinking the worst,fuck Tom..you went after your father without even a word to me,going all Native in the process,at one point _I thought  possibly you were dead"_

 if he thought there was going to be tears,sorry to disappoint you Tom.

"darling..I..I couldn't tell you,just trying to protect you and Eithne" his voice small, _"its just my way"_ lowering his head.

 _"it needs work"_ I growled before turning on one heel and exiting the room.

I had made it to the end of the hall Lennox,Kate and Ken appeared,when Tom took me by the shoulder.

"listen Lily I'm not done"

it must of been pent up anger, months and months _AND MONTHS_ of frustration added to it cause I cared not for what he had to say,wheeling around I slapped him _hard_ across the face the sound was awful when my hand connected with his cheek.

 _"I was ready to listen three and half months ago Tom,hell I was ready a year ago..where were you then!?"_ I raged.

turning away I saw the shocked faces,minus one,Lennox..remained stoic,I think he knew this was coming,after all he saw me day after day at work all those months,watching me _slip away_ as it were, while Tom was... _doing his thing._

without another word I quickly made my way out the front door with a slam, I needed to distance myself from Tom right now before I said things I knew I could never take back. _  
_

 "An now we both are in bit of a fix" Ken heaved a sigh.

Putting a hand at the heated skin of my cheek,Kate was already pulling it away applying a cold compress,hissing as she did.

"aye,she clocked ya good one she did,left a hand print"

"what do you mean..we both are in a bit of a fix?" looking over at Ken now holding the compress.

"cause the lass be right" he nodded, "about being honest with her from the get go...I told her I wasn't ya Uncle by blood,but everyone in this room be knownin' that isn't true"scratching at his head, "and now with that shite fer nothin' brother of mine alive no less walkin' about..following Lily it seems,I have no choice but ta tell her"

"one things certain Thomas,that little girl has been through a lot of hell" Lennox stepped forward,"having been brutally sexually assaulted, only to find out the key to it all is your past,you having your own set of quirks due to the ghastly events of your childhood that are now resurfacing,and only months ago you up an vanish on her not to mention your daughter,and when she does find you...son you weren't quite yourself,still aren't..but one thing does remain..you owe her"

staring at the three faces, seeing their disquiet,I knew I needed to do something,right now I had a _very hurt_ and furious little woman wandering around outside somewhere.

about to head outside when the whimpering from the bedroom told me otherwise.

" _I think for now,I'll deal with my daughter...right now I'm sure I'm the last person Lily wants to see"_ I murmured.

 head hung I made my way to the fussing infant,praying I hadn't fucked up her life.

 

                                                                                                    _To be Continued..._


	17. Ghosts of Times Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* in this Chapter there is a somewhat graphic depiction of violence and death from a characters POV and maybe disturbing to some of you,and out of respect I just wanted to give a "proper notice"

"Well,I was going ta speak with the lass..but"

Ken looked at me with an unhappy glance as he came through the front door,I stopped mid-pat on Eithne's bum.

"but what?"

"Lily's gone, one of the horses is missin',I'm figurin' she took off,distancin' herself from ya" he sighed shutting the door behind him,"shes hurtin' bad Tom"

"I'm aware..she needs her space,I'll give her that,if I go after her it'll only get ugly"

 sitting across from me,our eyes connecting.

"ya better hope when she comes back,it isn't going ta be ugly anyways Tom, that was a lot of anguish she blasted ya with,...she may not be as fergivin' as she normally is" his tone crestfallen, "from now on son... _no more secrets"_

Lennox came quietly into the room,he had been like this since Lily's outburst,he only had spoken once since then at length,but one thing he said remained.. _you owe her,_ he glanced at me...now what?

"and so how much _space_ are you going to give her Thomas?, until Lily thinks you feel her and your relationship is just _not_ worth your time or effort to go after her?, by then..it'll be too late"

goddamn him and his sudden rhetoric.

 

Lennox was right, _he usually was_ ,so...here I am on the back of Braun on my way to find what could be a pint sized ball of fury,ready to tear me apart _physically_ this time ,I prayed she had calmed down a bit.

I didn't even begin to know where to look for her, I knew she wouldn't be at the House,that was a no-brainer,or even at the Spring.. _dammit Lily,where are you?,_

 Damn near three hours or so had past and I think I covered every acre the Scottish highland had to offer,that was until I came up on a bluff.

Harper was facing away,Lily sat upon her much like a statue,it was almost haunting the way they both looked,unmoving,quiet,say for the Lily's long ebony hair at her back blowing lightly against the wind.

 I urged Braun onward slowly approaching them,stopping short of Harpers loins,the mare glanced ever slightly in my direction,then back forward.

Lily I was sure knew I was there, _no more secrets Tom,_ if you love her,you'll tell her. _.everything._

"My parents met in London,..my Mum worked in a small bookstore owned by her parents,..my dad saw her walking home one afternoon and..that was it, I came along a year later,my sister Candra three years after,then my baby sister Alena, father moved us to Scotland after she was born" _  
_

still Lilly didn't move,I hoped she just was listening keenly.

"father always had a propensity towards..anger,his temper was..fierce to say the least,and early on it was directed at Mum" looking away,my forehead creasing in heartache,even now I could hear her cries and screams echoing in my head,"I felt helpless as a child I could do nothing to comfort her,but wait for him to leave,and try to help clean the wounds he'd leave upon her, ice or a wet rag"

 taking in a deep breath,I continued.

"there were times I wanted to kill him,..the times he would come home in the early hours of the morning stinking of alcohol,sweat and whores,only to stagger into the bedroom, beat my mother into submission until _she_...she had no choice but to let him.. _.have her,.._ my room was downstairs from theirs and I would lay there helpless as my father..raped my Mum"

running both hands through my hair,my own temper beginning to rise as the memories stoked the ire that was rising.

"he did that..a lot, my Mum went through hell _in more ways than one,_ for years the abuse escalated and my sisters and I became a part of it,..Alena my baby sister was born with a limp,father...made fun of it,mentally tormented her,called her names,would even trip her up when she was walking,then laugh saying, _c'mon ya gimp,get up..walk  fer fucksakes,sad lot ya are,got it from yer mums side,Hiddleston's don't produce inferior stock"_

fighting the tears now,the memory of the blonde haired little girl who struggled in many ways,but always look to me for comfort,her _"Tommy Tom "...but I couldn't save her..I couldn't save any of them.  
_

"But as time went on..he grew more vile in temperament..there was poison in him that drove the monster that lived inside,he even threw Candra down the stairs once..why?, _because he felt like it_...who does shit like that,especially a father?" I shrugged,"I wish I knew?"

gazing upward at the cloudy sky thoughtfully now.

 "Lily,I look at our tiny Eithne and for the life of me _I cannot_ figure out why anyone would want to hurt a child like my father hurt us kids...all I ever feel when I see our baby is love,and protectiveness,and pride in knowing shes a part of me" shaking my head, _"it never enters my head to do her any harm"_

Lily shifted slightly in her saddle,I could tell it was discomfort,not from sitting,But from what I had been saying...I believe it was starting to catch up with her.

"when I was ten.." squeezing my eyes shut the screams searing through my brain was abrupt and distinct as if I were hearing them in life once more _,my Mum's and sisters_ ,shaking my head to rid of the sounds, "I had..went exploring,to escape the daily hell of my home,only to return to something more than what hell could possibly offer up"

taking a deep breath.. _here we go._

 "it was...horrific,the wailing,screaming," swallowing I struggled to speak of what I hadn't in years,"shrieking..I've never forgotten it,and I likely never will..I ran towards the house until it felt like my lungs were going to explode out of my chest...the only thing that stopped me..was when I reached the front steps,the powerful and distinctive... _splat.._ that hit the window by the door"

_"blood...lots and lots..of blood"_ I choked.

_god fucking dammit_ ,...this is..not what I want her to know!

"when I entered the house.. _.uh,..um,it was"_ I found myself feeling very much like that ten year old boy,images coming at me in a flurry, _"my..my father..he..he was_ covered in blood,an..an he had a hatchet in one hand and a machete in the other,..he was hovering over something,he saw me and jerked his head in my direction...however what I saw was.. _nothing_ of my father"

 finally,her head slowly moved to the side in my direction,but not fully.

"you...you think at times I have _that look_ of an animal Lily...but" turning my head away, "this. _.thing"_ I said it like it had left a bitter taste in my mouth, "had no semblance to my father,even if he was a fucking animal in the first place"

after a bit of pause to gather myself I continued.

"bolting immediately I fled into the forest where it was the thickest,which in hindsight was fucking ridiculous,the forest itself is dense, one can barely make their way through it,I was fortunate for two reasons, _I knew that forest_ and I was small built..and those things saved me"

rubbing my mounts thick neck,trying to work up my courage to speak further,it was getting harder to do so.

 "I'd say it was half hour or so I found a tree that I climbed up, father followed suit about oh..ten minutes later..fuck he sounded like a mad hatter..Lily I don't mean like _,yes hes just some nut_..the sonofabitch was actually skipping about in circles waving that machete around like out of some B rated Horror flick doing a sing song. _.come out come out where ever you are Thomas!"_

watching her look away,her body language seemed to relax a bit if not.. cringe.. _damn,this was getting to her I know it._

"he gave up after a time and wandered off,when I was sure of it,I climbed down and made my _way back home..but..wha.."_ fuck..I can't do this..relive this shit again,biting my lips,rocking back an forth in my saddle now, _"what I saw..I..I..my my mummy and baby sisters lying together,bloody and..and"_ the sob was loud when it escaped, _"hack marks all over them"  
_

 it was then I felt arms about me,as my body shuddered almost violently while I cried,Lily had pulled her horse up along side mine and slid across behind me wrapping her small arms around my waist holding as tightly as she could,resting her face on my back. _  
_

_"I held her..I held her Lily,my little Alena,her lifeless body in my arms,swaying..begging God..somebody,anybody, to not to let this be real"_ the sobbing now was much like as it was when I was a child,mournful,despairing..this was when I had _disconnected_ ,and the journey in becoming what I am today.

Having tied Harper's reins to Braun's saddle, I took hold of the geldings reins, Tom had fallen silent after he had become over taken in his grief stricken story of having found his family..dead.

upon arriving I was thankful to see Ken coming out of the House,he instantly jogged over to us,the look of worry was all over him.

"aw Lily..tell me.."

shaking my head slowly.

"Ken..no questions,just help me get him off Braun,its best we get him inside"

"aye,I hear ya"

 Promptly with Ken's assistance we took him to the bedroom and laid him down,he didn't go to sleep and only spoke once.

_"bring Eithne please..I want my baby"_

the tone was so... melancholy,imploring,I nearly burst into tears,without hesitation,I placed her next to her father who pulled her closed to him,kissing her softly all about her head,murmuring loving and words of protection,she snuggled into him,his long arm encasing her small body.

 placing a kiss on Toms cheek,I started to leave when he suddenly grabbed my hand.

_"I love you..I'll never leave you again..either of you,I promise"_

holding back the tears I nodded as I looked over my shoulder.

_"we love you too Tom,and we aren't going anywhere either"_

Ken stood in the doorway having watched everything,the man looked like he was going to lose it,putting a hand on his shoulder I urged him to join me as I left.

 Holding my cup of tea with both hands though they slightly trembled,I was lost in thought..all those things Tom had shared with me,his memories,shattered and besmirched by a crazed event..no by a madman who just happened to be his father.

his life from day one was shit,a father,abusive and cruel to his mother,treating her like cattle,then as time went on...he went after the children.

and..Alena,his baby sister,born with an infirmity,ridiculed and mistreated by this beast who by all rights should of protected her,loved her despited this,only to murder her along with his wife and other daughter,...but not Tom,he was fortunate.

I could only wonder if Tom's survivors guilt contributed to what he was like now?,I knew what he had gone through living with this bastard did,running from him,knowing he killed them...but feeling helpless to save them,..Jesus,Lennox was right.. _grisly things did happen in that House._

 "Lily..Lily?"

"uh..wha?"

coming out my nightmarish cogitation,I looked up,Lennox concerned watched me carefully.

"you alright darling?..the expressions on your face changed so rapidly, hard to discern what was going on"

"oh..yeah,well I had a lot to go over"

"anything in particular?"

he sat next to me,still the look of concern remained on his face.

"um..well,no" I shook my head "abuse,murder,insanity..you name it there's some shit I probably couldn't put a name to" now looking at him, "he told me _everything_ Lennox...the whole disgusting,vile,and shitty story"

 the burning behind my eyes finally produced tears,dropping heavily,I was angry,hurt,feeling helpless.

"everything Lily?" his forehead creased.

"yes..from the time his parents met to when he found his mother and sister in a bloody cut up heap on the floor in that fucking hou...house" my voice hitched,thrusting an arm behind me pointing towards the bedroom,"that man in there is currently curled up on a bed,holding his tiny daughter like his sanity depends on it,loving her,protecting her,and I know...vowing to never harm her like his father harmed his own"

Lennox straightened,placing his hands in his lap.

"I see..so now you know"

"yes,.."sipping my tea and putting it down as if it left a bad taste in my mouth,"and if running butt naked all over the Scottish Highlands and being..feral from time to time is what came from what hes been through...I'll take that, a lesser person would be in an institution or worse"

now placing a hand of comfort on my cheek,he smiled.

"as I see it Lily, you and that child are better than any therapy or prescription he could of been appointed,..you've given Thomas something he's _never had"_

"what?"

"unconditional love..and now that he's experienced that..he'll fight to keep it"

"that's what worries me Lennox" I sighed, "with us all knowing his father is alive running around...Tom's going to not only want to fight for that,but hes going to want..retribution,for those.. he couldn't save"

our eyes locked for a second,and then Lennox spoke,heaving a troubled sigh as this registered.

_"damn"_

 

_To be Continued..._


	18. Ghosts of Times Past

It wasn't so much the soft grunting an cooing noises that brought me out of a sound sleep,but the subtle tugging on my chin whiskers,slowly opening one lid brought into view a slightly squirming infant facing me,in her grasp,my goatee,and was rather pleased with herself about it.

_"ehehehe"_

Eithne's blue eyes studied me contently,the tip of her tongue poking out, reaching over I tugged on the errant red curl than rested down the center of her forehead.

"daddy's ginger baby"

_"aaaaaaaaa!"_

gifting me with a big smile, she then gave a right _hard_ yank on the beard.. _shit!_

 _"ow!"_ I snapped in a whisper.

a string of bubbly giggles poured out of her as her little body spasm in kicks and her free hand waved about.

_"ppphhhtttt"_

here we go with the fart noises, _must be a baby thing_ , or maybe its an _Eithne thing,_ smoothing a hand carefully across her dark red hair,she seem to calm,her little body no longer squirming,eyes still fixed on me,. _.ooohing_   at me now.

"you have your mummy's spirit..you know that,don't you?" giving her a playful tap on the nose.

_"aaaaahhh"_

"and your fathers gas" came a groan from the other side of Eithne,"damn Tom if you're going to get her worked up you could at least change her butt"

looking over,I could see an annoyed blue eye peering through long dark strands of hair.. _oopps._

"ehehehehe,sorry kitten,..just having a little daddy and daughter time,didn't mean to...."and then I realized what Lily was talking about when I wrinkled my nose,staring at Eithne...dang, _"Jesus Christ,"_ picking her up I held her up from the flat of my back, "did uncle Ken give you a taste of his Haggis?"

bounding off the bed Lily snickered,pulling on a bathrobe.

"not Haggis,but I'm willing to bet a bit of a taste of his coffee,I'm sure goes right through her, speaking of coffee..I'm about to go make some since I don't smell any,Kate must still be asleep"

"yeah" I held Eithne up to her, "how could you, when all one can smell is _her_  arse"

grinning smugly,she pointed at me.

"and that. _.daddy,_ is your job"

reaching the doorway,I needed to say something ever since I woke up.

"Lily... _thank you"_

stopping, her back to me.

"for what?"

"for being the good woman I don't deserve,..and giving me the gift of a Daughter I deserve even less"

looking off to the side,she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"you're a good man Tom...life has" she sighed, "shit on you in the worst way I can think of,and when you were a child no less,to make to adulthood without turning out to be some degenerate,is a blessing as I see it"

"really?" I gave a snort, "I can be pretty unscrupulous"

"running about naked in the Forest,and being a.. _pushy_ lover, and a bit of a rude asshole doesn't even come close to being...your father, _you are your own man,_ Tom"

 _wow._.that was quite a...portrait, she painted of me.

"asshole..and a rude one no less, aren't they one in the same Lily?"

shaking her head,she snickered.

"in your case..yes,I stand corrected,now if you'll excuse me I have coffee to make"making her way down the hall I  leaned on the bed watching her hips bump an sway as she did,her fantastic butt was shifting side to side as well, _"I know what you're doing Tom and you can stop it"_

sitting up quickly I looked at Eithne.

_"how does she do that?"_

she simply gurgled,followed by a string of raspberries.

 

"Aye ya up,sorry" Kate yawned as she entered the kitchen,"half expected ta hear that ol' git rappin' on me front door by now wantin' his coffee"

sipping my own coffee as I sat down,I couldn't help but grin.

"you must be talking about Ken"

"what other ol' git would I be referrin' too?" she said as she poured her coffee, "the rest of them in this county are either married or just dirty ol' bastards"

"or _drunk_ dirty ol' bastards" I added.

"aye" she held up a finger,our conversation was interrupted by the distance sounds in the hallway of a baby busily babbling away."my someones on one this mornin'" Kate looked over her shoulder at me.

"hmm,yeah..she an Daddy were having a bit a convo this morning"

"anythin' of interest they be discussin'?" she sat at the table with me now,grinning "boys, toys, diaper rash?"

"shitty diaper" I snorted.

"an I suspect that's why she be with Daddy now..he had diaper duty"

I nodded with a satisfied smirk.

"uh huh"

her mood changed as she leaned in on the table.

_"how is he,love?"_

"well..better" I looked thoughtfully,"he thanked me for being a good woman and for Eithne,he felt he didn't deserve either one of us,that we were too good for him"

 sighing she tapped her fingernails rhythmically on the table.

"yesterday I was so worried, thought he blew the final fuse I did,didn't like what I saw when you an Ken brought him in the house"

I knew it wasn't the final fuse that blew,just having to have the courage to..go back into those memories and relive them so I could understand it had...hurt..to say the least,took a lot out of him.

"no,just feeling miserable after sharing his shit for a childhood with me" 

the look on Kate's face told me she understood,even she knew things about his life I hadn't,up until now.

"Lily" we both looked towards the doorway, Tom walked in with a happy and wiggling Eithne,"I believe shes requiring something I can't supply"

"oh?"

I knew, but was curious as to how Tom did.

"she nuzzled at my chest,an seemed disgusted that" he shrugged "no big tittie or milk"

"she bit your boob..didn't she" I snickered.

 he looked a tad embarrassed,screwing up his lips,his gaze avoided mine

" I was holding her,looking for some clothes. _.it pinched"_

both Kate and I snickered now,seeing that Tom wasn't going to take this well I held out my arms.

"its breakfast time"

carefully he deposited her into my arms,and Eithne was already fussing with my shirt,girl knew what she wanted.

 

 "Lily..are you busy?"

"no..not really,just put Eithne down for a nap"

coming out of the nursery,glad to be home now,I saw Tom peering from our bedroom, _what's going on with him?_

"um..could you come here?"

"sure"when I entered the bedroom Tom was slowly pacing the foot of the bed,I knew that nervous pace,something was wrong."Tom?"

"darling..I..I need to show you something"

ceasing his pacing,I noticed he had something in his hands,Tom motioned me to join him,there was a look of pain on his face. _.what on earth?_

placing a hand on his arm,a look of concern on my face.

"whats wrong?"

that's when I saw them...pictures.

 

 

                          

 

 

 

I gently took them from his hands... _.his sisters,_ it wasn't a question in my mind.

 _"The one with the silky Lavender Dress is Candra, the other..Alena,"_ he murmured.

Tom's head was lowered,looking away,unable I think.. to look at the pictures,they were beautiful little girls,long blonde hair,with a smile almost reaching Candra's blue eyes,Alena..small and sweet in her pink knitted hat,I imagined Tom's mom had made for her.

my own eyes filled,knowing what fate had dealt them...such a fucking waste,to meet such a vile end,at the hands of the one person that by all means should of been the one to protect them..their own father.

 _"there..so,beautiful Tom"_ I whispered,trying to hold back the fact I was crying now, _"thank you..for sharing"_

finally looking back towards me,I knew he saw the sadness I felt,not only for the loss of these precious little girls,but for his loss too.

"I don't have any..of my mum..I couldn't find any" he said sadly, _"she was..beautiful too"_

sitting on the edge of the bed now,we both stared at the pictures,Tom took particular care in holding the one of Alena.

"you were closest to Alena..weren't you"

he nodded slowly,never taking his eyes off her picture.

"yes..maybe cause she was the baby,or because she was..infirmed" he shrugged, "I just knew she needed my protection more than Candra..she..she was a cheeky girl,wasn't frightened of father,where as..Alena"

"I can see that" I grinned pointing at Candra's picture, "she has a glint,that look about her...I bet you two stirred some shit when you wanted too"

it slowly built,a rumble in Tom's chest as he began to chuckle.

"one time,father came home on one of his many drunks,being a dick as usual,treating mum like shit,slapping her about,well...Candra had this brilliant idea,father was so shit faced he wouldn't know anyways,so I snuck his half bottle of whiskey away from beside him where he was passed out in the living room...Candra found a half bottle of Cod Liver Oil..poured the whole damn bottle in his whiskey, an I put it back"

I had fallen back onto the bed laughing by now.

 _"oh my god..he must of had the shits for days!"_  

"ehehehehehehehe.. _oh yes!_ , the sonofabitch couldn't even walk across the room without shitting himself"

"I just hope he didn't take it out on you kids,or your mom"

"oddly enough" Tom shook his head,"it was the one time that bastard paid no mind to us,just was fucking embarrassed,blamed it on some shitty whiskey at the pub" he made a face,"though mum did get stuck with cleaning his..shit filled trousers" Tom frowned, "Candra an I felt bad so we offered to help"

"that was kind of you an Candra" putting a hand on his, "you were good kids,despite the horror's you endured,most kids wouldn't of"

"it was only right that we did,it was because of us that mum got stuck with his crappy trousers,he put her through enough without us contributing to it"

 

"Ya mean ta tell me,ya didn't bring her..again?"

the older receptionist gave me a sour look,arms folded as she sat behind the desk.

"Vera, for one thing,her father insisted I leave her with him,however of the two,I believe Eithne is the more mature,I think she maybe babysitting him" I wore a weak smile.

she quirked a brow,

"aye, an if ya lucky they won't be finger paintin' ya walls with some ungodly stuff..if ya take me meaning?"

I did, _meaning_..poop art.

"I think Tom's surpassed such childish things Vera, and if he hasn't...he'll be sleeping in the barn. _.with Ken's Pigs"_

that earned me a cackle from the old girl.

"I'd expectin' no less from ya Lily..oh, by the way before ya start workin', Lennox wanted ta speak with ya" she pointed over her shoulder towards his office.

"Good morning Lily,you look..reasonably well,I suspected you might be knackered,I'm pleased to proven wrong" Lennox smiled.

"actually...its weird,I haven't felt this well rested in awhile"

and that was the truth,I wasn't constantly on edge, or depressed anymore.

"perhaps its due to the recent events,finally you have the answers you've been seeking, mind you not the ones you expected.. _.unspeakable_ at best"

no shit.

"he um..showed me pictures of his sisters" even now the memory of those photos stirred up a burning sensation behind my eyes,"I guess hes had them for some time now,took good care of them too"

Lennox came from around his desk,brows furrowed.

"Alena and Candra,really?"

 _"yeah"_ I swallowed trying to force back the tears,and myself to look up at him, "beautiful children...makes me sick,to comprehend that they..are no more"

"I..had no idea,he had pictures of them"

"evidently he must of had them hid away,the only thing he has left of them,the only thing he can use as proof to say..yes I had sisters _and here they are"_.I choked. _."gawd this is such shit Lennox"_

handing me a tissue,I wiped my nose,he gently rubbed my back.

"yes darling,it is..as Tom would say, _a big steaming pile of it"_

 looking up at him,raising a brow,it really wasn't like Lennox to speak like that,and was aware I knew this by the grin he wore.

"actually Tom would say its fucking shit, but its all good that you refrained from the F bomb Doc" I weakly smiled.

"just trying to lighten the mood darling, but this news about the pictures,I'm pleased to hear it,Tom is opening more to you since sharing his past,..and I'm actually overjoyed to say,..hes telling you more than _he's ever_ told me,I knew nothing of these photos for one thing"

"it's good to know,but Lennox there's one thing that still bothers me"

"oh?"

"his father is still here..somewhere,what if he runs into him?"

"I've thought of that,it's the reason I had Vera tell you to come in here,Lily..I've contacted the police,..they want to reopen Tom's case,and they are willing to go looking for his father, _but_.." he heaved a sigh,"they need you and Tom to come down to the station for your statements"

threading my fingers through my hair,damn..

"did they believe you though?,or.."

he put a hand up,stopping me.

"Lily,most of the people in that station were working there when all of it went down all those years ago,they knew his family, _especially_ his father,always a brawler in the local pubs..and when the murders happened...you can bet the law enforcement was all over it,everyone _wanted a piece_ of Thomas W Hiddleston Sr.. so yes darling...they _more than_ believed me"

so this sack of shit was well known before the murder of his family,minus one,well he's about to gain popularity once again.

"I'll see what I can do on my end with Tom,it might not be too hard knowing the police are eager to put his father away"

Lennox took both my hands,looking at my as if imploring.

"perhaps..lets just hope we can get Tom to the police before he sees his father, or the wrong Hiddleston may wind up behind bars"

 

                                                  _To be Continued..._

 

 

 

_Photo Credits/source- http://content.latest-hairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/curly-cue-cute-style-for-a-little-girl-with-headband.jpg_

 

_https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2b/48/f4/2b48f4aecc3cccc0b8b8904bd6da9661--babies-fashion-fashion-kids.jpg_


	19. Ghosts of Times Past

Appraising Eithne's appearance,as I usually managed to dress her like a typical new father,mismatched clothing that made her look like a homeless child,I was pleased to note,I accomplished _not_ to go this route this time around, dressed for the cool Scottish weather I put her in a long pink doubled breasted coat,that had black animal prints on the fake fur pink cuffs and collar with a matching hat with the same trim.

she looked too cute,however the look I got was less than approving,it was more like,if she could speak that is,  _"thanks dad, I feel like an asshole".._ well she is _my_ daughter after all.

I decided to continue _our time_ together,feeling I hadn't spent enough of it with her,too busy being  absorbed with myself,my past and just being an all around wanker to acknowledge I had _one of_ the most beautiful gifts right here in front of me, _the other being Lily._

"so Gingersnap, want to go to town?..huh,get out of the house for awhile..maybe have lunch with Mummy?"

yeah, still getting the _asshole_ look,somehow I have the feeling my little Eithne wasn't going to be the _prissy,dress up,playing with dolls_ type of girl _..._ should I start worrying now?

Managing to clean myself up as well, I sported the same outfit I wore when I was trying to get Lily back after _once again_ acting like an enormous tit and pissing her off royal, my white dress shirt,black trousers,black leather jacket, and the final touch,combing these ruthless fucking waves of hair back an getting them to stay that way.

giving Eithne a cheesy smile.

"well..how does daddy look?" I held my arms out,giving a little spin.

from her baby seat,Eithne sat wearing a blank stare,then.... _oh fuuuck._

_"waaaaaaaaaaa!"_

her head had dropped back, whole face went red and collapsed,lips puckered, _shit who knew she was such a critic?,guess she was use to Tarzan dad in sweats._

Clipping Eithne into her car seat she was still giving me _the look,_ shaking my head I guess the cleaned up version of daddy wasn't flying with her,either that or the daggers I was getting was from dressing her up like a little girl... _too prissy?_

 

Parking my black Forester behind Lily's silver Forester made me smirk, _god even our vehicles match,_ it wasn't on purpose when we purchased them,Lily was just against the idea of driving around in Ken's old clunker of a truck with the baby in it, so..we made our first investment as a couple.

I no sooner walked into the clinic and...

"aye..its about time!"and Vera moved quicker than I ever seen the old biddy move in years,and heading towards my arms outstretched, "gimme that wee bundle Thomas"

"here"

holding Eithne out to her,like I was going to deny her,shes proven in the past what a ornery bitch she could be,wasn't up for a rematch,taking the baby,cooing to her instantly,Vera managed to look away long enough to look at me.

"my..we are all fancy Thomas" she winked, "ya lookin'... _.grown up_ ya do"

"please Vera,don't call me. _.fancy_ ,its not really..masculine"

 _"aw..ppfftt"_ giving me a dismissive wave,"one things fer certain Thomas, no ones ever goings ta mistake ya fer being unmanly..virile ya always have been" she chuckled as she gently bounced Eithne in her arms.

_"Vera!"_

"what?,not likes its a secret ta me,ya was a wicked boy back then...an even more wicked as a man until that lass Lily showed up,thank the maker fer her I do" she gently chastised.

Vera was right,before Lily came around I was nothing short of a..man whore..still,my libido was intact,Lily could attest to that,ehehehehe...speaking of which.

"Vera,where is Lily?"

"ah..shes in the Ladies loo"

no sooner had she said it,Lily exited the loo, adjusting her black pencil skirt,and smoothing it.

_"hey baby"_

looking up, a surprised smile reached her slightly pouty lips,she always looked so beautiful when dressed in her professional attire,hair swept up with just the slightest tendrils of her dusky hairs hanging loosely framing her face.

"hey.."

meeting  halfway,putting a hand at the back of her neck,gently pulling her into a kiss,firm but not over the top, Eithne's babbling brought Lily's attention away,breaking the kiss.. _always the mum on alert._

 _"is that mommy's button?"_ a loud squeal. _.Christ that girl has some lungs,_ Vera turned around,Lily put a hand to her mouth,"oh my God, did you choose that outfit Tom?"

"yes..why?"

oh shit.

"she looks _sooo_ adorable!... _good job dad!"_ she teased giving my arm a pat.

rolling my eyes I shook my head.

"you must think me a complete git, to think I'd dress my child like shit an take her out in public,give me some credit"

Lily wore a crooked grin,giving me a playful wink.

"well there was that one time you did put her in one of your t-shirts which.. _yeah_ and when you couldn't find a diaper...you tied a pair of my knickers on her"

"why are you bringing _that_ up?..she was barely a month old..I was new at this Dad _thing.."_

meanwhile,Vera was getting a good chuckle out of it.

"you have improved" Lily smiled tugging playfully on my chin whiskers,"like I said..good job,so..why are you two here..and dressed up?"

here eyes now flitting about,taking in my appearance..oh now she notices.

"we thought we'd drop by and take you out to lunch.. _.without,_ the ribbing" I raised a brow.

 

Lunch was great,and seeing Tom once again wearing his _GQ look_ was..intriguing,and Eithne all dolled up as well,I think he was trying to look beyond the past few days,moving ahead,focusing on what mattered.

I think I paid more attention to his interaction with Eithne during lunch rather than eating my own food,he was diligent towards her,talking to her ,wiping her face after giving her a taste of his dessert,making silly faces,being affectionate,and Eithne was very receptive..she loved her daddy.

couldn't help but laugh when Tom pulled out his cell and actually took a _selfie_ with her and made it his lock screen wallpaper...it felt good, _too good_ ,what was taking place was _so normal,_ but my gut was telling me..the other shoe was about to drop.

 

And it did. _.in the worst fucking possible way._

"did they say what happened exactly!?" I practically shouted.

"no,just that both of us needed to get down to the station immediately,..he's in sorry shape,yelling,and carrying on,they had to put him in a a cell,he was out of control" Lennox said looking pensive as he drove.

"and Eithne?"

"shes alright,a bit startled,but there's someone with her,Ken's on his way too"

 _shit,fucking hell and damnation!,_ of all the Grocery stores that Tom stopped in on his way home..his father just happened to be _in_ _that one._

Lennox and I pretty much stormed the police station causing everyone there to look at us, the Chief Constable was already meeting us half way.

"land sakes ya both got here in record time"

 _"where is he?,how is he?,can I see him?"_ my words came out in a rush.

"easy darling,slow it down..he's as about as good as ya expect him ta be,cussin' somethin' awful roarin' fiercely.." he sighed, "he's in sorry shape" the Constable's look transferred to Lennox, "took a whole lot of me men ta get him down,cuffed an in the car.." putting a hand on my shoulder, "my Secretary has ya wee bundle,an shes doin' good"

"and..and that _shit..father of his?"_ I threw my hands up.

the Constable gave a twist of his lips,looking away,then back.

"seems he..as they say. _.slipped out_ as soon as Tom went wild on him,witnesses said the man ran,Tom was chucking whatever was on the shelves ,at the the old bastard"

"Constable..tell me,is Thomas in a state that he is reachable?,does he respond when you speak to him?" Lennox inquired.

"uh..well,ya..if ya call growlin',an snarlin' a response" the Constable scratched at the back of his head,leaning in he whispered, _"ta be honest Terrell..its like when he was a lad an we first brought him in here..wild an shite filled with anger he was,ya remember?"_

Lennox rubbed at his chin,looking over at me,my worry was evident,near tears,but more concerned than anything.

"yes,unfortunately.. _I do_ recall how he was back then,hadn't seen anything like that in my career at the time,..not even when I interned at the sanitarium in Glasgow"

 _"well I'm glad were all getting caught up on how.. undomesticated Tom was back in the day,but this is now!"_ I snapped, "I want to see him...I know he's in shit shape,and I know why,right now he needs someone who loves him, _not to be left in a cage going out of his fucking mind!"_

both men stared at me,then at each other.

"I don't see why not Constable,shes the reason why he hasn't been gracing your presence in the last year or so"

"ya certain?"

I narrowed my eyes at the man, who pulled his head back from the heat of it.

"I can be far worse than Tom,Sir...its best you let me see him. _.now"_

he regarded me for a moment,my look never wavered,seeing that.. he heaved a weary sigh.

"alright..follow me"

It was ungodly,the sounds coming from the cell block,and in some way _eerily haunting_ as it echoed down the hall...Tom's wailing. 

following behind the Constable,I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to see,..what was I going to see? _,fuck._..it had only been a few hours when I saw him last, a calm,loving and normal man having lunch with his family.

but what I was hearing...sounded like a mixture between a wounded and enraged animal struggling to get out of the confines of which he found himself in,as the wailing grew much louder,the Constable stopped,turning around,wincing from the frequency of the pitch of Tom's voice.

"okay Lass, I wants ta let ya know..this not a pretty sight..hes not that man ya saw earlier, an ya know his story,so...the Tom ya going ta see"

he hesitated,the mans brows wrinkled,he too knew the story,I think maybe he was hurting for Tom..if not in some small way.

"Constable..I've seen him when hes not quite..himself,I have an idea of what I'm about to..see"

nodding,he guided me towards Tom's cell.

"last one on the left,if ya need us,the Doc an I will be right here"

looking at him an Lennox,I took a deep breath and then proceeded towards the cell.Approaching slowly,I found myself doing just what the Constable had been doing,wincing.. when I saw him _...holy hell_ ,pacing quickly the entire cell,breathing heavy,his ginger hair wild as he was right now,his body flush,the white dress shirt he was wearing,pretty much useless,as it looked as if had tried to tear it off.

he looked as if he were about to belt out another series of yells,as he threw his head back.

_"Tom..."_

his body stiffened,jerking his head in my direction,my eyes widened, _goddamn_ he looked..crazed,eyes as big as saucers,blood shot,red rimmed, _its okay Lily, he needs you,just talk to him..calmly._

It took only two long strides and he was right up against the bars,face pressed in-between them.

 _"Lily"_ he choked.

aw gawd..his voice sounded so different now,quiet,sorrowful..and full of heartache, even his eyes had softened,his hand reached through the bars,cupping my face,I leaned into his touch,I wasn't afraid of him and I wanted to let him know this.

 _"its going to be okay Tom,I'm here now"_ I whispered.

_"no..no its not..I saw him Lily..he was there,..he said my name..my father"_

"I know Tom,and the Police are on it,their looking even now,they aren't mad at you,the Constable only put you in here for your safety"

Tom stared for a moment,brows knitting together,he frowned.

"no..he put me in here so I wouldn't go looking for him, _and kill the fucking bastard"_

well,Tom still had his faculties,that was for sure,he hadn't snapped.

"Tom,nothing good would come of that...think about it,would you like to spend the rest of your life without being able to see your daughter grow up?"

I could see the conflict going on behind those now darkened blue eyes,that were avoiding me.

"no..but,Lily..that shit,he had the fucking balls to say Eithne...she favored you,but that he could see. _.some of Alena in her features"_

squeezing my eyes shut I knew that was a fucked up thing to have been said,I also knew it was said to hurt Tom.. _.fucking parasite father of his,he couldn't kill Tom as a child,so hes torturing him as an adult._

 _"he said it to hurt you,and it worked..fuck him Tom,don't let him win"_ reaching through the bars,lifting his chin up making him look at me,"don't let him destroy what you have,me and your Daughter, something in life he once had,but destroyed himself.. _his own family_ ,hes shit, you're the Man here _..understand?"_

"you make everything feel better" his hand smoothed down the length of my hair, toying with the ends of it,staring at nothing in particular "I don't know how,but...you manage to take a highly volatile situation,and...shut it down"

_"because I love you,and...you're not the only one who'll fight for those you love"_

_"I know..I've always known,that's why I said I didn't deserve you or Eithne...you're stronger than I'll ever be Lily,...but I'm do damn selfish to ever let you go now"_

smiling weakly,our eyes locked.

"that's just it Tom... _I don't want you too_ ,no matter what shit your past slings at us" taking both his hands into mine,"don't let that vengeful,abused little boy inside take over Tom,you're not alone in this anymore,you have me now,let me help,I know I can"

"I'm beginning to see that" resting his forehead on the bars,"you do realize what a pain the ass I can an will be"

raising a brow,I pulled on his chin whiskers firmly,leaning in,his statement was unnecessary,as I knew he could be just that and Tom was aware of this.

"I should just leave you here over night Tom..you know that"

"ehehehe..Lily. _.Lily?_..you aren't serious?...Lily I love you"

 _"uh huh.._.thought that might change your tune"

"Lily..I just really would like to go home..and be with my girls"

looking down the hall,the Constable gave a nod,Lennox stood quietly beside him,hands clasped in front of him,smiling, giving me a wink of approval.

"I really like that idea Tom, _you me an Eithne"_

 

_To be Continued..._


	20. Ghosts of Times Past

It was our departure from the Police Station to say the least,calm and quiet,the other officers and staff watched us discreetly, _they knew.._ the little boy found from the Forest all those years ago,his family murdered by his father,now standing in their station _once again_ as a man. _.because of his father._

Ken was there as Lennox said he would and had the foresight to bring some clothing for Tom,though all he needed was the T shirt he brought,Tom had given him his Bank card telling Ken when he went to retrieve his car at the Store to use it to pay for any damages that he had made,knowing that there would be some.

Tom apologized to the Officers that brought him in,for the struggle he put them through,though the men brushed it off,shaking hands,giving him a pat on the back,assuring him they were alright and just wanted him to be the same.

but it was when the Constable's Secretary brought Eithne out to us, Tom's whole demeanor changed, arms out stretched taking the small squirming child from her,holding Eithne to him firmly, his face in her hair,eyes closed,rocking gently,it was like the room went still,everyone one was watching as this traumatized father held his infant daughter in this protective,loving moment.

 _"ya know...I never thought I'd see the day,but now that I have,I'm admittin'"_ the Constable smiled, _"fatherhood looks good on that boy..real good"_

looking over my shoulder at him,I nodded.

"shes been good for him"

_"ya both have,the Doc was right"_

reddening a bit by the sudden compliment,I gave him a tight smile,the credit I felt was more Tom's than mine,it was the hurdles he made by his choice alone,true I wanted to be a part of it,but only if he wanted that,and so far..he did.

 

Lennox drove us home,he hadn't said a word to Tom,only but to smile warmly at him when he was released,and oddly enough,Tom embraced him,much like a son would a father _,I swore_ I saw Lennox tear up.

Ken drove Lennox back as it was my car that got us to the Police station in the first place,and got us home, he told us not to worry,between him an Kate they'd figure a way to get Tom's car home too.

After everyone had left,Tom had disappeared with Eithne into her Nursery, I found them on the daybed,Tom curled up with her facing him, upon approaching them,I saw that he was grinning...Eithne who normally was sucking on her own balled up fist when she slept, was in fact comforted by sucking on one of Tom's fingers that was curled,a knuckle to be exact.

 _"I guess she figured you tasted better"_ I whispered.

_"ehehehe,or it was some left over ice cream from lunch I missed"_

 "I see you have her Jammies on,why don't you put her to bed,and I'll draw us a bath"

"us?" he tilted his head.

"yeah,I think we both could use one"

"together?..in the same tub?" both brows raised now.

"no..I'll use the tub,and you can choose either the sink or toilet"

"I wouldn't fit in either Lily and my dick would hang over the side" he countered with a sly grin.

groaning I shook my head,you wouldn't of known only a few hours earlier he had just had a violent encounter with his estranged homicidal father,what a change in mood.

Eyes closed,letting a quiet sigh escape as I laid submerged to my neck in the hot tub of water,letting it draw out the tension from the shit of a day from my body,momentarily interrupted,as I sensed who I knew was Tom hovering over me,opening one eye,greeted by his nudity was always a pleasant sight,especially when he stood so straight with his shaft in one hand seemingly caressing it with no purpose all the while staring at me,not with his usual hungry look,but more of one that was lost in thought,reaching up with one hand,I wordlessly welcomed him to join me,with his unused hand he took it.

situating himself between my legs until the back of his head centered itself among my breasts,he laid there quietly and went back to his earlier attentions to his cock,as I scooped water with my hand getting his hair wet.

I wound up bathing him entirely, it didn't turn into anything completely sexual,which for Tom was.. _unusual,_ even when I soaped up his cock,using both my hands on it,keeping eye contact,he never moved.

not that he wasn't appreciating it,the arousal was clear,but he seem to just to enjoy the sensuality of it rather than out right take what he needed,there was a trade off when I was done bathing him,he took my body wash and quietly went about lathering my body down,naturally concentrating on my breasts.

again,there was only the sensuality exchanged between us,no words spoken,what needed to be said came from our eyes,body languages,and when we were done,rinsed and dried off,it was off to bed naked,even then I found nothing sexual was going to happen,instead,I noticed Tom seem to be reenacting the same action he did with Eithne the day he curled up with her after telling me about his past,he pulled me close to him,kissing me softly all about the top of my head,murmuring loving words of protection which only urged me to snuggle into him,his long arms and legs enveloping my body.

_"you know I love you kitten"_

_"yes..of course"_ , I nuzzled my face into the fine chest hairs,taking in his scent.

_"I know I've put you and Eithne through some shit,by leaving you and all..and I want to make it up to you both"_

what was going through that mind of his now?

_"oh?"_

pressing me firmer into his chest,his arms,legs tightening about me,I felt his chin resting atop my head.

_"yes..by keeping you both with me forever,kitten...marry me"_

all the air l had must of left my lungs _,I couldn't breath,_ my throat was suddenly dry,and it didn't help that my brain went completely blank and the thudding in my chest was my heart reacting. _..the fuck did he just say?,am I hearing correctly?_

when I did try to speak,it was nothing short of shock and gibberish.

_"um..er..ah,hmm..uh"_

pulling me away Tom looked down at me,his face searching mine,he looked scared or was it hurt?..shit I wasn't trying to do either to him.

 _"was it wrong Lily?..I'm sorry..I just thought..shit,I mean..I was going to ask eventually,damn it!"_ quickly he sat up,pulling me up with him,the look on his face couldn't have been more supplicating, _"its just..I've made you mine in every way but one..by giving you my name,Eithne has it..why not her Mum?"_

sitting on my knees now,staring up at him...he was serious.. _absolutely,fucking serious_ ,there was nothing in his eyes that told me otherwise,in fact he looked close to tears that I hadn't responded. _  
_

before I could speak,he scrambled off the bed,I watched as he went over to his drawer,digging through it almost mad like, then when he was done he scrambled back onto the bed,wearing the same desperate look on his face.

he took one of my hands,placing something in it,then folding my fingers over it,holding them in place.

"its not much..but its yours now,if you'll have me"

letting go of my hand,I looked down, unfolding it,a quiet gasp escaped me,in it.. what looked like a small woman's white gold wedding band,a bit worn, with seven beautiful flower shaped cluster of diamonds resting atop of it.

_"it was my Mum's"_

a sob made its way from my throat as I covered my mouth,an offer of commitment and a gift belonging to the one person I'm sure that would of  given it over to Tom had they not been...dead,an now he was presenting it to me. _  
_

 "you know Tom..you aren't the only one who has been blessed,..without you I would not have Eithne either..yes we've been through a lot" tears now falling,"but we seem to find our way back _to each other._.. and these gifts you offer me,your proposal,this ring,I know you're being sincere..and I'd be a fool to turn them away"

"is..that a yes?" he tilted his head.

"yes..Thomas,I'll marry you"

the kiss was hard,fierce,and if my lips weren't bruised because of it ,that would be a miracle,Tom held my head firmly,when he parted,we both were breathless.

 _"um..I think this is the part where you put the ring on my finger"_ I tried catching my own breath.

 _"oh..yeah"_ Tom took it and gently slid it onto my finger..a perfect fit..his mom must of been a small woman like me, holding my hand up,observing the delicate treasure on my finger, "mum would of loved you Lily..in a way she knew about you, even predicted it... _Thomas,I see that you'll break a lot of hearts before the right one comes along..and put you in your place,that my son is the one you must keep"_

his mother was very perceptive of her little boy _..even then._

_"and have I put you in your place Thomas?"_

tracing the the outline of his beard that circled his mouth with my fingertips.

"yes,right where I belong" one of his large hands caressed my cheek _,"by your side"_

 

This Morning felt different from any other morning that I can remember,really couldn't put my finger on it exactly,but..I noticed something about Tom too.

from the time we both woke,there was a _lightness,I guess.._ in his mood,he was up shortly before me, in the Nursery,and brought Eithne to me for her morning feeding.

he laid beside me,watching as I nursed our daughter,smiling,gently smoothing his fingertips down her ginger curls, I noticed that were getting longer, he would chuckle at her little grunts as she would get eager about her meal,occasionally waving an arm wildly in the air.

After our family time and some breakfast of our own,Tom was off to do morining chores with Ken.

it was while I was sitting at the table peeling apples I had me a visitor..Ken, he came in smelling of..shit,whether it was Cow or Pig,I wasn't sure and I didn't care.

 _"sonofabitch"_ covering my face with an arm,"did you roll in it?"

Ken pulled at his shirt giving it a sniff.

"aye..ya think I did,but no..ya man thought it be funny an pitched a shovel full of Pig shite at me,feckin' arsehole" 

"he. _.what?"_

lowering my arm just a little,scowling.

 "ya heard me,we was switchin' pens so we could clean the one an Tom turned in ta a five year old throwin' shite everywhere..now wheres ya coffee?"

"um no Ken, go take that gawd awful smelling shirt off,I'll get a clean one, I'm gagging as it is"

I managed to find a shirt that fit him and tossed the crappy one into the washer,then I went back to peeling apples while Ken sat drinking a cup of coffee.

"so you punishing him,by letting him muck the pen alone?"

"naw...I'm lettin' him muck all of the pens alone"

chuckling as I shook my head,putting the last of the peeled apples in a bowl, Ken grasped my left wrist,startling me.

"where ya get this?"

"what?"

he held my hand up in front of me.

"that ring, where ya get it Lily?"

oh boy,now I have to come clean,without Tom.

"uh well..you see,Tom proposed last night..he gave it to me,said it was his mothers"

 _"I know its his Mum's"_ Ken's face looked grave,releasing my hand.

was this not a good thing?,the proposal,or the ring?,I thought Ken would be happy.

"whats wrong?,is it bad that I'm wearing this?" now clenching the hand that bore the jewel.

taking a sip from his cup, he seem tense.

"naw lass,its not..just came at me side ways it did,I hadn't seen it in..years, _last I saw it..it"_ taking in a breath he rubbed at his mouth thoughtfully,eyes downcast,then he gave a dismissive wave "ah..never mind this ol' git,.." he looked up forcing his best smile "so..the little arsehole wants ta make ya his woman permanently?..was wonderin when he'd do that?"

the awkwardness of his response wasn't going unnoticed,but I was not going to persue it,not now.

"yes,he wanted us to be a family with his name,figuring Eithne had it why not me"

"and he loves ya Lily,any idiot can see that" his smile was genuine now,"he has the day he laid eyes on ya"

 "yeah,..I didn't think I had to mention that" I shrugged,"nor the fact that I love him too"

"that I have no doubt in me mind" he sighed,"never have I seen a woman with such an unconditional love for a man as I have with you Lily Loban,yas a rare find lass" taking my hand squeezing it, "that boy has put ya through some shite normal an unnatural...and ya still here"

giving him a quirky smile,I nodded.

"good thing my Boss is a Shrink. _.huh?"_

staring at one another both of us paused before sputtering that lead into a complete outburst of laughter.

 

                                                                                  _To be Continued.._

 

_Tom's Mothers Wedding Band given to Lily_

__

_Photo credit/source- http://zales.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pZALE1-21121821t800.jpg_


	21. Ghosts of Times Past

"Ya been staring at ya hand fer some time now,love..somethin' on ya mind?,or ya fascinated by them wee fingers of yers?"

_"huh?"_

"Lily..ya alright?"

looking off to the side,Kate stood with hands on her hips,a look of concern on her face.

"ya was in a different world ya were,somethin' amiss?"

"oh..no, just was thinking"

"I'll say,..but why look at ya hand with such...worry?"

well I guess it was time to tell her,it was obvious Ken hadn't..which was odd that man was worse than any gossiping an old woman.

"Kate...Tom proposed"

 I held up the hand in question,showing her the Ring, _suddenly I began to feel like Frodo and at any moment the eye of Sauron was going to appear,flashing before me,_ I guessthe way Ken had reacted when he saw it just made me feel that way.

she clapped her hands together gasping,but looked pleased.. _thank fucking God_ , I released a heavy sigh of relief.

"oooh Lily!,that's wonderful..let me see"

taking my hand in hers,she inspected it closely,moving my hand to and fro,seeming to be in awe of the jewel.

_"it..it belonged to Tom's Mother"_ I mumbled.

looking up,but still holding my hand,her smile remained,reverent even.

"well,then this be an extra special gift he be givin' ya,love" she said softly.

"it is..but when Ken saw it,he..he got weird on me Kate"

releasing my hand,she joined me at the table,sitting beside me,her face now grew somber.

"hows that Lily?"

"um,..he took me by the wrist and ask where I got the ring,so I had to tell him about the proposal,he seemed.. _.on edge_ , so I asked if it was a bad thing to be wearing Tom's mothers ring...he said _no..just came at me side ways it did,I hadn't seen it in..years,last I saw it..it,_ then cut himself off and proceeded to congratulate me...Kate,I'm not thick,Ken's upset"

Kate quietly nodded her head,she slid both her hands over cupping my hand that bore the ring.

"Lily,he was right,ya done nothin' wrong in wearin' the ring,it's Tom's right ta give it to ya,but I think I know what Ken meant by.. _the last he saw it"_ she gave my hand a squeeze,"darling,the last finger this ring rested on, yes was Tom's mum's,..but when the last Ken saw it..was when he identified her remains.."

sadness and horror washed over me,clapping a hand over my mouth.

_"oh hell Kate!"_

_"sshh..sshh,love._.now there be none of that" she took a napkin and patted at the tears I hadn't readily notice,"which brings me ta my next words ya not expectin'...Ken wanted ta tell ya..but wasn't sure how,so I volunteered ta do it,..I know he told ya he was not Tom's real uncle...but Lily, _he is._.Ken is just as much blood related ta Tom as ya are ta me Lily, that's what also explains why he identified Tom's Mum and Sisters bodies,he's their kin"

nodding as I took in this revelation.

"I really don't feel surprised by this,they behave like their related" I gave a small laugh, "the way they bitch at each other for one thing"

"aye,this be true,but Lily you do realize,Tom's father is.. Ken's brother"

 

It was while watching Eithne standing on her fathers lap,tugging at his whiskers as usual I noticed it...he needed to trim that goatee of his,it was looking pretty wild,scruffy even.

"daddy needs some grooming on those hairs, doesn't he baby"

a series of raspberries,and gurgles as she tugged on him,and an occasional curse from Tom

"I do not,my whiskers are fine" he argued.

putting a plate of freshly baked peanut butter cookies before him on the table,I leaned in.

"they are not fine..you're starting to look like a Goat"

that got his attention,jerking his away from Eithne who took it upon herself to plant one of her tiny hands on his cheek, _an attempt to smack him I guess?_

"a Goat?..the hell did you get that notion?"

"Goats have beards you ass,god Tom you've worked on a farm most of your life and you haven't taken a good look at one?"

"yes,but I don't see it.." he frowned, "yeah,mines a bit..full,but.." he tugged on his goatee.

_"but what?"_ I smirked, "if it gets any fuller our daughter might fall in it an never be seen again"

now he just stared at me as if I were full of shit,I just shot one back at him with a _well..the fuck you going to say about it..Goat Boy?,_ Goat Boy..hey I like that one.

"okay,if you're going to bitch about it" he held Eithne up talking to her now,"I guess Daddy will just have to shave it _aaallll off"_

_dickhead._

"and the pubes too"

looking around at me wide eyed.

"what!"

"well if you're going to shave _aaall_ your facial hair off..why stop there?..in fact I know a great place in town that does a _great_ bikini wax,men get a percentage off their first time" I winked before turning around.

_"that's shit Lily!,_ there's no way I'm letting someone wax my....bush"

I leaned against the counter in the fit of giggles,the man sometimes took things _too_ literal.

"Jesus Tom, I only started out with a suggestion because your whiskers are making you look a bit mangy"

"oh,that's not what I heard...the love of my life,the Mother of my child" he held Eithne before me "calls me _a_. _.Goat"_

_"big baby"_ sticking out my tongue

_"ehehehehehehe"_

Eithne joined in with Tom's laughter,giggling,kicking her feet out,and clapping.

"see even she agrees" I pointed,"then again,at times you have the same mentality as your Daughter"

 Tom set Eithne in her highchair, _..uh oh.._

"woman,keep it up...and we'll see just how much more mature  than our daughter I am"

"oh?"

now I was backed into the counter,Tom's body flush against mine,giving him a sideways glance.

"yes,..like making her a big sister before the year is out" his grin most wicked.

"and.. _that_ ,would make you mature?" I frowned,"knocking me up?"

"ehehehehe...well,a boy couldn't do that" he pressed his crotch hard into mine, _"but a man can"_

groaning I pushed on his chest with both hands,what a caveman he could be sometimes.

"well that wasn't any kind of sexist fuckery at all Tom..god!"

"I tease,you know this" he poked my nose,grinning broadly.

"not always,you primitive git"

"primitive git?..ya must be talkin' about Tom"

we heard the voice from the living area.

"Ken" Tom an I said in unison,looking at one another.

entering the kitchen wearing that unrestricted smirk he was known for,eyes full of mirth.

"I see ya havin' a bit of family time,and..." he sniffed the air,"I smell them peanut butter cookies,ya been bakin' Lily"

Eithne made some sort of.. _noise_ and held up a cookie to Ken that she managed to take from the plate, _it looked awful_ in her grasp,a mushy,gooey brown mass of...well,not sure what to call it,and her face was covered in it too.

Tom snickered.

"she's sharing uncle Ken, take a bite"

Ken looked at what use to be a cookie in the child's hand then at Tom.

"you first.. _Daddy"_ he wore a cheeky smile.

and as if Eithne understood,her offer switched to Tom,waving the cookie at him.

_"aaaaa..da!"_

wrinkling his nose at the now clotted lump she was currently squishing between her fingers,yet still offering it up to him,Tom politely declined.

"thank you Eithne,but da isn't hungry"

"at least not fer somethin' that looks like he would find in ya nappy little miss" Ken snickered.

Having giving Eithne an extensive bathing and upon her insistence,nursing she went down for a nap finally.

Tom and Ken had managed to finish off the plate of cookies in that time, and now the reason for Kens visit was about to be revealed.

"I ran into the Chief Constable yesterday"

we both froze,knowing this had to be about Tom's father,I could feel his body tense up next to mine.

_"and?"_ Tom's voice now reflected that tension.

"he informed me they've involved Scotland Yard,boy.. they be taken this seriously, he just wanted ya ta know this"

 rubbing at his jaw,Tom nodded.

"I appreciate it,tell him next you see him,have they any new leads?"

Ken slowly shook his head

"no son,I did ask...they be askin' everyone all over Scotland about that bastard,they even been puttin' them current drawin's up of him that they do, in the Pub's,market's,and other businesses,and people do remember..from all them years ago,what happened,they want him caught too"

"caught?" Tom snorted,"killed would be much better"

putting a hand on his,squeezing,Tom looked over at me as I shook my head,my expression couldn't of been more somber,I knew only Tom meant that he would like to do the killing himself.

"she be right Tom..no sense in it,if that donkey shite of a man is meant ta die,let it be either naturally,or by the bullet of law enforcement"

"wheres the fun in that?" Tom now stood, "or the retribution?,the only way he's ever going to pay for what hes done to my baby sisters and my Mum...is to die" he looked at both of us now,"and I know the police won't kill him,wound him..yes,cause they want answers,figure out what made him do it..so no Ken,no bullet from them will do the job either"

both Ken and I stared at him,knowing arguing with him was pointless.

"Tom"

"I'm going to go and tend to the cattle,its time that I do anyways"

and as quick as he said that,he kissed my cheek,and made his way out the door.

"hellfire I didn't come over here to light the boy up" Ken threw up his hands.

"Ken..it doesn't take much,the mere mention of his father and he's...on one"

"aye,I just hope with Scotland Yard involved now,perhaps findin' that piss stain will be easier"

"it must be hard for you too,Ken..beings that hes your brother"

rubbing at the back of his neck,he looked at me a bit uncomfortable.

"Kate tell ya did she?...well Lily,he quit being my brother _ages_ ago,that bloody tosspot in my eyes is a smite against the name Hiddleston"

 

I finally was on Vera's good side having brought Eithne back to work with me,and was currently entertaining the old girl in her portable crib by showing off her newest accomplishment.. _hanging onto the edge of the crib_..standing,yes,now at six and half months my little girl was pulling herself up, standing up and at times without help..only briefly,then plopping on her butt,usually with her mouth shaped like an "O" before ending up giggling in spite of herself, at her newest achievement.

"shes gettin' bigger tho' I can't say where,still wee she is"

 Vera observed Eithne as she clung to the edge of the crib,bouncing on her knees,babbling in her infant talk,throwing in her rude raspberry noises from time to time.

"well,shes..taller,I think" looking over my shoulder from my computer,"like her father,she'll probably have legs for days"

Vera chuckled

"ah,poor Thomas, he'll be pullin' them lovely ginger curls out of his head with all them boys chasin' after her then"

_"please"_ I groaned, "he's already asking Ken where he hides his firearms,Tom already sees the potential his daughter has when it concerns boys...he's having none of it"

"ha!..only cause _he knows_ , use ta be a wicked boy himself" Vera wagged a finger.

_"used to be?"_ I snorted, "he's just more _seasoned,shall we say?"_

leaning in Vera smirked,both brows raised.

"ya mean ta tell me,hes becoming a _..dirty ol man?"_

staring at one another,her smirk grew and we both threw our heads back barking out our laughter with Eithne's trill of laughter joining in which only triggered us to laugh even harder.

our moment was cut short when Lennox popped his head out his office.

"did I miss something?"

"aye,yes ya did..just havin' a bit of fun at Thomas's expense" Vera chuckled as she wiped her eyes with a tissue.

trying to compose myself I gave him a tight smile,he wasn't buying it.

"and I see you included his daughter in on it too"

Eithne was now clinging to the edge of the crib, jumping almost wildly making _loud_ fart noises with her tongue,. _.very unlady like._

_"um..yeah"_ I looked away feeling like an ass at this point.

as he approached us,I sensed an ass chewing about to commence.

"well I for one am glad to hear some merriment in this office,and the sounds of a happy child couldn't be more pleasing,even if the sounds are..gassy in nature" 

he transferred his gaze to Eithne who finally was sitting and now preoccupied with a stuffed animal.

 "I was hopin' ya be okay with it" Vera spoke up, "cause if ya weren't" she straightened her blazer," I was goin' ta tell ya ta take that stick outta ya arse ya old git"

I threw her a frightened look.. _oh hell_ ,Lennox nodded then leaned on both hands onto her desk

"Vera, a git I may be,but there hasn't nor will there ever be a stick in this arse of mine" grinning now,"you on the other hand.."

the older woman stood up slowly,oh this wasn't going to be pretty by any means.. _oh shit!_

"listen ta me Terrell Lennox I'll not be standin' here an listen ta ya rubbish,so ya can bugger off now"

it was Lennox turn to laugh and he did which set Eithne off in another round of _giggle farts..sigh,_ she cannot be my child.

It was towards the end of the day and Vera and I were wrapping things up when I noticed someone had walked in.. _great,a late arrival._

"hello,can I help you?"

"yes" he took a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket,"are you Lilianna Loban, cousin to Katherine Loban?"

Vera and I exchanged looks,then back at the man,giving him a wary one in return.

"who wants ta know?" Vera's tone sharp.

pulling his jacket back a bit,exposing a badge clipped to his belt.

"Inspector Darnell Croft, Scotland Yard"

 shit,I knew they were involved...but to show up at my place of employment,whats with that?

"and what business ya have with her ta be comin' ta her job?"

_the woman must be psychic._

the man narrowed his eyes at her,sniffed then looked back at me.

"Miss Loban, I need to speak with you about something of which I'm sure you are aware and was made known to us at Scotland Yard through the local Chief Constable"

 "here..now?"

"Miss Loban,the sooner you answer my questions the better the chances are that we find this man"

sitting back in my chair,folding my arms tightly,an anger grew in me.

"for over a decade he was presumed dead,when in fact he's been roaming about Scotland this whole time, a homicidal monster who killed all but one member of his family.. _.and now,_ you think any thing I have to say may help catch him?"

the Inspector stared for a moment,seeing my aggitation clearly.

"you were the first to make contact with him,though at the time it was unknown to you,but I need further details"

"and what of his Son?..have you spoken to him?,there was an incident where they did run into one another a month or so ago...his details I'm sure would be of more interest"

"I spoke to The Chief, I'm aware of this..however..."

Eithne's timing couldn't of been better as her fussing began,at the present I was moments from getting arrested,I was getting quite tired of this guys persistent crap, Vera spun in her chair,scooping her up,cooing to her.

handing her over,I cradled Eithne who nuzzled at my breasts,.. _ooh not now button,mommy's got an asshole to deal with,_ glancing up I couldn't help but notice the Inspector taking an interest in my daughter.

 "Eithne..am I right?"

okay I've had enough of this shit.

"you come in here asking for me before announcing who you are and why you are here, after you do that for some reason _my statement_ about that shit of a man is important,not even speaking to Tom who was very much part of this case,and now you mention my child, what does my child have to do with anything Inspector?"

looking up thoughtfully,it was like he had something to say,but not wanting to say it,he planted his hands in his front pockets,slowly he looked back to me.

"because Miss Loban, Thomas Sr seems to have taken an interest in his new grandchild...some time today while his brother Kenneth Hiddleston and Son Thomas Jr weren't home..your residence was burglarized...some of Eithne's things went missing...mainly her blankets in her crib,however he did leave something behind a bit more disturbing other than the fact he had been in your home...a note, which said, _I want to see Alena,Tom..how come you've been keeping her from me for all these years"_

_Alena?,but that's the name of one of Tom's sisters...oh-my-God._

 

_To be Continued..._


	22. Ghosts of Times Past

Slowly standing up,clutching Eithne firmly to me,I stared at the Inspector.

"Alena...are you sure that's the name you saw?"

"Miss Loban,I was there..I had been with the Constable when the call came in that there had been a burglary at your residence,though I didn't know it was your home,the Chief knew it instantly upon hearing the address"

"that's Tom's youngest sisters name..why..why would that bastard call my daughter by that name?"

"I know,I read the case file" his face wrinkled a bit, _"bloody fecking mess"_ he mumbled.

"yes,it was..from what Tom said.. _oh fuck!._.Tom,the house being broke into, _he's probably losing his shit!"_

"ah well" he heaved a sigh,"that's putting it mildly,does he always look deranged when he's going off the rails?"

damn,he saw Tom at his worst.

"pretty much,if you did read the case file it should be obvious as to why he does..I need to go, _now"_

 

When we pulled up, _we as in the Inspector and myself_ ,there were cars everywhere,the police,Chief Constable,Kate and...Lennox I recognized his car _anywhere_ ,Ken must of rung him at home.

I no sooner got Eithne out of the car when my body was ambushed from behind,urgent arms wrapped about me...Tom.

"oh God..I thought"

 _"we're fine_ " I said calmly, _"both of us"_

 lessening his hold enough on me so as I could turn around,the mans face was  distraught like I'd hadn't seen on Tom, he never really shone any type of  fear when it concerned his father,if anything it was rage and disgust. _  
_

cradling my face,tearfully he pressed his lips on mine firmly,then pulling away,clearing my hair delicately from my face.

"all kinds of shit went through my head when I saw the front door open and Nursery all askew" gently he took Eithne from me, _"hey hows daddy's girl?"_

Eithne seem to sense her fathers disquiet,lightly patting at his nose,even cooing softly,leaving her father to chuckle as he embraced her protectively,he glanced over at me,though his face buried in blankets and baby...there was a _different_ kind of unease to his eyes,something I never seen before. _  
_

When we entered the house,people were everywhere,goddamn,we were told that we weren't aloud in the Nursery that there was a Forensics team in there getting evidence and they couldn't risk contamination,it all was too surreal. 

"Lily,I see you made it"

Lennox stood,hands in the front pockets of his jacket,seemingly unaffected by the activity going on around us,then again he had seen this shit before I'm sure,must be like Déjà vu to him.

"not like I had a choice,its not like everyday some guy from Scotland Yard shows up where I work and tells me some wack job broke into my child's nursery and leaves a creepy note"

"so the Inspector told you"

"yes" I shivered,"and its still unsettling..what the fuck Lennox?... _Alena?"_

"I know,all I can figure is perhaps she bears a resemblance to her as an infant,and beings his mind _is what it is_..he thinks Eithne is in fact Alena" _  
_

Tom made his way back to us,seeing the look of question on both of our faces as he stood in-between us.

"what?"

Lennox looked at me,then to Tom.

"Thomas I need to ask you something,and it maybe painful,but it may answer some questions along the way and possibly could fill in a blank right now,...do you have any clear memory of Alena as a baby,what she looked like that is?"

giving his lips a severe twist,his eyes flickered about,I could tell he was trying to recall any memory,slowly he nodded.

"she..she was very small, premature at birth,sickly..." gradually a smile grew "Alena had a round face though, before her hair became blonde she had strawberry blonde almost ginger hair,reminds me of my Eithne..." he stopped dead, his eyes showed it though.. _"oh fuck...that bastard,he..he thinks..."_

Lennox nodded,Tom's words only confirmed it.

"I was just telling Lily that was my assumption too,I only needed to hear from you what may of cause your father to assume that as well"

 "I think I'm going to be sick" Tom made a face of disgust.

"and who could blame you?" Lennox agreed.

"no,I mean _I'm really going to get sick"_

and with that Tom bolted out the door,I could literally hear him just off the porch retching soon after.

 

It was decided that we would stay at Kate's while the investigation was going on,which was fine,I didn't want to be in that house knowing that... _man_ had been in there.

somehow everything felt _tainted_ ,and it bothered the hell out of me that he was focusing on my daughter,and my senses had heightened significantly, knowing had I not brought  Eithne with me to work...he would have taken her.

Ken opted to stay at his place,if anything to keep an eye on ours,though Kate did offer him to stay with us at hers,she had more than enough room, he promptly declined,something about.. _I'll be at my place,if my brother wishes ta pay me a visit..I have a shillelagh with that piss stain's name on it._

I'm just glad he didn't say that within earshot of the police..as it was that statement even made Tom's jaw drop. _  
_

"hows Tom doin'?"

looking up from the coffee I was about to drink,Kate's worried expression told me this whole thing was probably like history repeating itself,except now Tom is grown.

"he's actually doing better than he usually would be,and to be honest...I expected him to be gone when the Inspector an I arrived,off on one of his _runs"_

"ya..ya right about that,tho..he be rantin' about wantin' ta kill his father he did,that note nearly had him goin' ta do so if it hadn't been fer Ken bein' there"

the note...yeah,I want to kill the bastard myself,the man had to be so whacked in the head to be thinking _my_ daughter was one of his deceased daughters...one that died by his hands,was it guilt or just plain insanity? _  
_

"well hell,Ken doesn't sound like he's in any better mood than Tom. _.a shillelagh Kate?,_ he means to kill his brother if he dares show up"

"aye" she nodded,"an I think fer once, the law would turn a blind eye ta such a thing.. _.this case_ with Tom,the tragedy of it all" her face somber, "ta them his father is  just another piece of shite they don't have ta deal with"

sitting down at the kitchen table,Kate joined me.

"that's where Tom would disagree with you,he seems to think the police would tolerate him being wounded,but not killed, if it came right down to it,they would want him alive,wanting answers as to why his father committed those murders"

Kate stirred her coffee absently with a spoon,shaking her head.

"I don't know Lily,..after ta day,I'm thinkin' they just want his father any way they can get him..if its alive fine,dead..even better"

 I was about to answer her when Tom entered the kitchen with Eithne cradled in his arms,sleeping peacefully with her usual balled up fist in her mouth,sucking on it.

"wore her out did you?" I teased.

"no...she wore herself out,all the pulling herself up on her feet,an crawling about,or at least I think it was crawling she was trying to do?"

"pretty soon she be runnin' about naked like her father with ya chasin' after tryin' ta get a nappy on her" Kate chuckled.

raising a brow as Tom joined us at the table, Kate could only smirk across the table at him.

"you've been talking to Lily,haven't you?, she said that when she was pregnant with her"

"except I said she would be running all over Scotland like you...naked" I corrected before taking a sip of my coffee.

the annoyed look I got from him was priceless,and if he weren't so worn by the days events he would of given me shit about it.

"why don't you hand her over to me,and go get some rest Tom, _I know_ you could use it" threading my fingers lightly through his curls,"besides when she wakes,she'll want to nurse"

closing his eyes as he leaned into my touch,a small sigh escaped him.. _my baby was weary_  and whether he wanted to admit it or not all this crap was catching up with him,kicking his butt,there was only so much one could take before it all goes to shit and I was not going to allow it to get to that point.

oddly enough Tom obeyed my suggestion without protest and lumbered off to bed after kissing my forehead,I believe he went out the minute his head hit the pillow,not even bothering to undress and we could even hear him snoring. _.yeah,rest was exactly what he needed._

Halfway through the night it was the coolness on my skin that made my skin prickle that woke me,slowly looking over my shoulder I saw the reason for it.

Tom side of the bed was vacant,great...I just hoped he was still in the house,now was not the time to for him to.. _go native._

sliding out of the bed legs first,I sat for a moment on the edge of the bed collecting myself before I got up, _no sense in breaking my ass in the dark while I'm half awake._

switching on the light next to the bed,I proceeded to get up, on my way out I noticed Eithne's porta crib was empty... hmm?,it didn't take a genius to know what was up.

as soon as I reached the living room I knew what to look for and I found it, curled up on the couch with an unmistakable pink blanket bundle pressed up against his chest...Tom and Eithne...sleeping soundly,well with the exception of the soft sucking noises Eithne was making on her fist.

I walked over taking the oversized throw blanket from the back of the couch and gently draped it over him,careful not to wake either one of them,satisfied that he would be warm now I stood watching them both,something I'm sure Tom did when I slept with her.

Tom was an excellent father,I hope he knew this,yesterdays incident I'm sure has made him more vigilant where our daughter was concerned,which probably explains. _.this._

not that Tom didn't want to protect me too,but I think he figured of the two of us...I could hold my own an Eithne obviously cannot and as her father _he will_ defend her...unlike the man who thought Eithne was his own.

 

I was familiar with the tugging of my hair,but somehow.. _this_ was different,opening one eye I discovered why, two big round eyes and smile greeted me...Eithne,lying on her stomach and in her grasp,a thick strand of my hair.

_"aah..Maaa maa!,..ppphhhtt!"_

_yuk.._ a face full of spit,just what I wanted to wake up too.

"Eithne Lilianna..really?" wiping the spittle off my face,"we really need to work on your manners"

"ah..you're awake Kitten"

turning my head towards the doorway,Tom stood in the doorway holding a cup of coffee,grinning.

 _"yeah,_ no thanks to your daughter and her endless supply of...saliva,she sprayed spit on me"

"ehehehehehehe,you got off easy..I woke up to a nappy full of crap" he wrinkled his nose, "what are you eating darling that makes her poop so foul?"

hanging on to Eithne as I propped myself up,I gave him the evil eye _why was everything concerning the contents of her diaper always my fault?_

"giving me garbage about her BM's,seriously?...she doesn't nurse as often now,shes actually been eating baby food as of late and just so you know....there's nothing about poop that isn't foul Tom"

By the time Kate got up Tom and Eithne were busily feeding each other scrambled eggs,or should I say, _Eithne was attempting_ to put pieces of egg in Tom's mouth.

gurgling excitedly as he would open his mouth wide like a giant baby Robin and Eithne would well.. _throw it into the hole,_ and almost always missing her target,needless to say the kitchen was quickly becoming a mess.

"ya know,I could blame it on the lass fer the mess,but beings ya could find a way ta catch most of that food" Kate shook her head,"yas muckin' up my kitchen far worse than any child could, Thomas"

"I'll clean it up Kate" he held his hands up in surrender.

"ya bet that skinny arse ya will" she cuffed the back of his head as she walked by him.

_"ow!"_

the frivolity came to an abrupt end with the loud knocking on the front door,it was rather early for visitors, Kate,Tom and I exchanged looks,Eithne continued to use the eggs as confetti.

"now who?" Kate frowned with an unsure look.

the knocking came again, but it was more persistent and powerful in manner in fact it sounded more like banging this time,Tom was on his feet now,suspicion all over his face as he stared in the direction of the front door,he put a hand up.

"you both stay here"

 

                                                    _To be Continued..._


	23. Ghosts of Times Past

Making sure everyone stayed in the kitchen,I stood centered of the front door,whomever was on the other side.. _better pray they aren't my father._

grasping the door knob,giving it a turn I threw it open ready for a brawl,stepping forward as I advanced quickly,but the person on the porch wasn't obviously anticipating it.

_"bloody hell!..wait wait!"_

both his hands up,stopping I narrowed my eyes scrutinizing the man.

"Inspector?"

 "yes" putting a hand to his chest, "I take it you were may  be expecting..someone else?"

"after yesterday ..I think my level of suspicion is just,don't you think?" I folded my arms.

moistening his lips,nodding rather adamantly the Inspector agreed.

"no argument there Mr Hiddleston,but..the reason I'm here and forgive me at this shit of an hour,but its urgent that I speak with you and Miss Loban"

"please,its Tom..and come in" I gestured for him to do so, "is this concerning my father?,has there been any news about him?"

after shutting the door, I noticed Kate and Lily with Eithne in her arms cautiously making their way into the living room,I motioned for them to enter.

"Inspector?.." Lily was puzzled.

 "ah,Miss Loban,sorry to be dropping by at this hour,but like I told Tom I need to speak with you both"

we all took a seat, the Inspector looked worn out, rubbing his hand across his mouth before he spoke.

"last night..there was another break in at your place"

the room went silent before I stood where I had just barely sat down.

"you're fucking kidding me?"

"wish I were" the Inspector frowned, "but this time it wasn't the Nursery that was raided..it was your's and Miss Loban's"

_"what!?"_ Lily was now on her feet,her voice had raised in pitch that it startled Eithne an she began to fuss.

Kate reached up from where she sat taking the now irritated child from Lily who relenquished her without even looking away from the Inspector.

"yes,again..he was looking for something,left another note"

_"what is with the goddamn notes,whats next a Hallmark card?"_ Lily spat throwing her arms up.

"what did it say?" remaining calm as possible,which was becoming harder,when all I really wanted to do was kill me a sonofabitch,"was it about Eithne again?"

"no" he shook his head,"Tom..what do you know of a..Ring?"

 Lily and I exchanged wide eyed looks,gazing back at the Inspector,stunned.

"um..I..well"

"this.." Lily stepped forward,putting her left hand out in front of him,displaying my mum's wedding set on her finger,"is what I'm assuming  was what that note was referring too"

"its my Mum's wedding set" I took a deep breath,releasing it,"she was wearing it when...when my father killed her,Ken gave it to me years later"

looking away,trying to stave off the memory of how I came by the only thing I would have left of my Mum,I think everyone in the room noticed this,especially Lily who now stood beside me.

"Tom gave it to me when he proposed"

Inspector Croft tilted his head to one side,eyeing the ring curiously.

"the note said _the ring Tom,I know you have it,where is it_..so" he nodded," I'm guessing from what you've just said and by what I see on her hand..yes,this is what he was talking about,I just don't have a damn clue as to what he means?..does he want it..or is it a way to get at you?"

When Inspector Croft had left something went with him...my engagement ring,he felt for one that if it was in Scotland Yards safekeeping it may protect us from Tom' father from coming after us should he see me wearing it,but _mainly me,_ and also as evidence.

I noticed this made Tom feel a bit cross,he remained silent when Croft put the ring in an evidence baggy,but the spark in those azure eyes spoke to me.

Tom was on the edge,why he hadn't gone on one of his runs since this shit started?, actually had me baffled,if anything would trigger him to take off,this _definitely_ would, his agitation was clear,from the pacing all over the house,clouded expression on his face to the sudden profane outbursts that would make both Kate and I jump...I almost wanted to beg him to go out an _run off_ this rage I knew was brewing within him.

It was when I couldn't find Tom anywhere in the house I knew there was only one other place he could be,Approaching the stables I could hear the horses soft whickering/snorting,they only do that when someone or something was in their presence.

peering in,I released the breath I didn't even realize I was holding,sitting down on a bale of hay in front  of Harper's stall,on the opposite end of the stable..Tom.

elbows resting on his knees,hands clasped together with his forehead resting on them staring at the ground,yeah..he was distraught,quietly...practically tip toeing, I made my way to him,whether he could sense my presence or not, _something told me he could_  ,it was the substantial fauna that was in him that would guarantee this.

once at his side,he hadn't moved,remaining as I had seen him,reaching over,I lightly ran my finger tips across the ginger waves,down to where they curled at his neck,he didn't even flinch,it was then Harper stuck her big head out of her stall emitting a low grumble from her chest.

even the Mare sensed his tension,moving around to the front of Tom,I lifted his face with my finger under his chin,until our eyes met.

"go" his forehead creased, I looked toward the opened door of the stable where you could see the view of the hills in the distance,he looked as well, "go..now"

when I looked back,the expression he wore was almost indignant,lifting his chin,Tom tilted his head,he knew what I was telling him.

_"no"_

"no?" 

"as much as I want too Lily,and as much as..." he took one of my hands " I love the fact you are so in tune with me and my... _weirdness_ ,that you would tell me to go on a run...I can't"

"why not?" 

what was with this sudden change?

"I belong here,my place is here with you and our baby,you both need me..no more running when I should be with my family,protecting them"

"but Tom...running helps you think,to rid you of unwanted urges"

"I know,but right now" he squeezed my hand,"the only unwanted urge is.. not to leave you and Eithne vulnerable...is that wrong?"

_is that wrong?_..oh my god,he wants to forego the only thing that kept him sane, to remain here and keep me and our daughter safe,for him it was therapeutic to run,not only was that not wrong...it was unselfish,he was trying to take the mature route,I just hope in the end he didn't suffer for it.

stepping closer,I pressed his face into my abdomen where he further buried it,nuzzling,wrapping my arms about him,kissing the top of his head.

_"no Tom"_ I whispered, _"its not"_

I took advantage of the closeness, the moment between us,and was now straddling his lap,both silently staring into each others eyes,guiding his large hands underneath my shirt as we did.

at one point abandoning them as they roamed over my breasts,the man didn't need my help,he knew this body and what it responded to, my bra simply slid off with no effort really,he licked his lips slowly.. _anticipation_ of things yet to encounter.

and as easily as the bra had come off,the shirt did too,the coolness of the air pebbling my nipples instantly had Tom descending on them, gasping at the sudden heat of his mouth,tongue flicking, licking and teasing them.

he held me by the center of my back firmly,as I arched it offering myself up to him,sighing letting him have what he needed of me,his mouth roamed over my breasts,collar bone,neck and throat,licking,nipping and sucking.

_Tom required more_ ,this was a no brainer, he knew my body..and I knew his,scooting further onto his lap,my hand smoothing across the hardened crotch of his pants,I was greeted with a grunt,and a jolt of his body.

in no time his cock was out and my hands though small,worked his length until Tom was almost falling off the bale of hay we'd had been sitting on.

Tom's head had dropped back,eyes closed,lost in the attentions I was giving him,without warning, I slowly slid myself onto the tip of his cock,Tom's head snapped up.

_"Lily"_ he breathed heatedly,eyes hooded.

keeping direct eye contact,I put a finger to my lips,sank myself with purposeful,unhurried motions until his cock was entirely buried in me,sitting motionless,taking pleasure in how his length always filled me completely.

riding him was second nature when it came to my intimacy with Tom,and at the moment he was in total agreement,gripping my ass,guiding my movements,with him it was about the control,and with the chaotic events currently going on in our lives.. _he needed_ some sense of power. 

lifting me up at one point that only his tip teased my entrance only to have him thrust his hips upward forcefully,impaling me,hearing my cries as he did, seem to make him laugh,not cruelly but in triumph.

_"I love you... darling_ " he panted.

_"I love you..to..too"_

_I was close..very close_ ,and so was he,our foreheads rested together,staring..no make that glaring passionately as our eyes registered our pending release.

gripping his shoulders until my nails dug into his sweaty flesh possibly breaking his skin,I threw my head back as the orgasm hit me so violently I shuddered as my back arched,that's when I felt the all too familiar sting of teeth penetrate the side of my neck holding fast as I was being marked by my lover. 

both heavily breathing,sweating and of course satisfied,not to mention a slightly freaked out _if not disgusted,_ Mare in the stall beside us, we smiled at one another knowing _this.._ was something that had long been pushed aside and in the future would be addressed more frequently.

Once fully clothed,Tom seem preoccupied with the mark he put on my neck,his finger tip gently tracing the circumference of what I knew was swollen pink skin of his bite.

"does it hurt kitten?"

"no" I shook my head.

"I was afraid to do it,but...you know how I get when..well when I peak,sometimes its hard to control the urge" his eyes wandered upwards to mine,"I didn't want to hurt you.. _.like last time"_ his voiced now softened.

I knew what he was talking about,I bore the scar of that particular..bite,but at the time,Tom hadn't been himself,I took that into account,and Tom had never forgiven himself for,well as he put it.. _marring your skin in what was a moment of brutish insanity._

putting a hand the one he had that now was on my neck,I smiled reassuringly.

"you didn't hurt me Tom, _its a love bite_ ,I enjoyed it when you did it and I'll wear it proudly"

 

"So how ya fairin' Lily?" Vera asked as she handed Eithne a biscuit from where she stood in her porta crib,which she accepted gladly.

"oh..uh" sighing,"alright I guess,it's Tom I'm impressed with,..he's been solid through it all,I mean yeah,he has his profane outbursts..but,nothing like you'd expect him to do,no..meltdowns"

 turning in her chair,a curious look on her face.

"really?,..ya mean ta tell me the boy hasn't gone numpty..or..well ya know,wandered off starkers?"

snickering as I shook my head,his reputation for his naked butt runs through the Highlands certainly had proceeded him.

"no,none of that,in fact the only naked butt seen in our house these days is that one over there" I gestured with my head in Eithne's direction, _"isn't that right little Lady?"_

a gurgle then a string of giggles from Eithne as she bounced on her feet,clinging to the side of the crib with one hand,and a now mushy biscuit in the other.

"ah now,there's nothin' sweeter than a naked bum of a wee babe" Vera cooed,looking at Eithne.

"it isn't when that naked bum is peeing all over her fathers lap" Vera put a hand to her mouth glancing over to me,doing a piss poor job of muffling her laughter,I shrugged."laugh all you want,I warned Tom,its not like shes potty trained,or old enough for that matter"

"aw Christ" she chuckled,"likes ta seen that meself"

"see what?"

both looking in the direction of Lennox office,he was walking towards us looking inquisitive.

"seems Tom was puttin' the cart before the horse.." Vera smirked, "lettin' the wee lass here sit in his lap sans a nappy"

 giving me one of his questioning looks,I put up my hands in front of me.

"what?,I tried to warn him,can't help it if hes thick sometimes,just thankful it was pee an not...poop" I wrinkled my nose.

"I see,guess he has to learn some things the hard way" a grin grew on his lips.

"it's Tom were talking about here, _a lot_ of things he learns the hard way" I groaned.

"true,..Lily I need to talk to you,its very important,it's something that's transpired in the last hour"

shit,he had that grave look on his face now,what hell has happened?what has that sack of shit father of Tom's managed to do this time?

"okay" bracing myself, "what?"

pulling a chair over by our desks,Vera and I looked to on another then back at Lennox, the man's face looked as if it were cut from stone.

"as you know Inspector Croft was on his way back to London to deliever Tom's Mum's ring to the Forensics team at Scotland Yard himself,rather than send it"

"yes" I nodded, "said it would be quicker and he didn't trust the post not to lose it"

"well...that never happened"

"what?" leaning in on my desk.

"Lily, I was contacted by law enforcement, Inspector Croft was on his way to the Airport in Edinburgh,...his rental car was discovered not ten miles from the city itself, halfway in a ditch by some tourist,the back of the car was smashed in..someone ran him off the road"

my stomach dropped,a wave of nausea hit me.. _someone ran him off the road?...I just bet!_

_"and..?"_ my voice hitched..did I really want to know?

"when the police arrived and further examined the scene...the front windshield was severely damaged,driver side door open and there was ..." he hesitated,looking away, "a great deal of blood inside the car"

_"oh god"_ covering my mouth, "and Croft, he..he wasn't dead..was he?"

looking back at me,lowering his head.

"that is the question now...Lily,there was no body, the Inspector a long with the ring..is gone..their both missing"

 

                                                                            _To be Continued..._


	24. Ghosts of Times Past

All I heard was the slamming of the door and the heavy footfalls, _hurried_..footfalls,heading towards the hallway,not Kate's she was visiting out of town for the day,..looking up at the kitchen clock,not Lily either, _too early_ she had only been at work for about three hours.

_then who?_

with the shit going on I was not taking _any_ chances that it wouldn't be my father,he did have the bollocks to just waltz in and do what he pleased,hence the break-ins at the cottage and the theft of Eithne's things,the notes left behind...I quietly grabbed a cleaver from a drawer.

with my back flush against the hallway wall,sliding slowly,trying to control my breathing which was difficult due to the thoughts of the possibility of my nutter of a father being in this house,had my blood boiling.Through the small opening of the bedroom door where Lily and I were sleeping I saw some movement,gradually taking a step away from the wall I peered in.

 but it wasn't my father.

_"Lily?"_

gently pushing the door open further,she sat on the edge of the bed,rocking back an forth,murmuring into the bundled blanket she held possessively in her arms I knew to be Eithne,pausing she looked up at me,her face ruddy,eyes bloodshot and full of tears.

 _"Tom"_ she sobbed.

Holding her now as she still held Eithne,she tearfully poured out the story Lennox had told her about Inspector Croft, I was in a daze.. _I knew_ as she did my father had to be behind this,that was why Lennox sent her home and was now on paid vacation leave until further notice,he didn't want her or Eithne made accessible for my fathers reach,if he could strike out at a member of Law enforcement in broad daylight without anyone witnessing it,..my girls would be easy pickings.

 

Watching Eithne sitting on Ken's knee while the old git made some of the most ridiculous faces I've ever seen,yet my daughter was fascinated by them,to the point that at times she would drop her head back emitting throaty little chuckles.

"I don't get it,you can make yourself look like something that rolled out of some manky old pub with those faces,but when I try to be silly..she wrinkles up her face and makes fart noises" frowning I sat a cup of coffee next to him.

"that's cause ya not doin' it right boy,ya suppose to delight the lass.. _not sour her mood"_

giving a roll of the eyes,shaking my head,like he knew anything about kids,the confirmed bachelor,no kids of his own. _.that I knew of._

"I'm not doing anything wrong,I make Lily laugh" I defended.

"that's cause she thinks yas a goofy wanker ta begin with,an Lily's known ya longer,poor lass here" he now held Eithne up in front of him,"only has five months on ya"

what an asshole.

"I'm her dad so _I'm special,_ you're just a cranky ol' fart that smells like the shit of livestock and makes weird faces" 

"Tom..that's not very nice"

craning my neck around to see Lily with a scolding look,lips at a twist.

"kitten he started it,said you think I was a goofy wanker and that I put Eithne in a sour mood when I make faces at her"

"so naturally you go at him saying he's annoying, old and smells of crap..nice Tom"

"well,its true" folding my arms,that's when I felt her cuff the back of my head, _"ow!"_

"ya shouldn't encourage it Tom,Lily's already upset,this shite with Croft disappearin' has everyone on edge" Ken handed Eithne to me,"blokes at the pub are talkin'..people are scared" _  
_

"I know,that's why I've been doing some thinking while you were taking a nap" looking towards Lily while trying to dodge Eithne's grasp on my whiskers that she liked to tug on without mercy,"we need to leave"

taking a seat at the table between Ken and I she looked at me curiously.

"leave?"

"yes..you,me and the baby,I was thinking your place in the states,you know on the coast,we would be too far from my father for him to make a move on us"

biting on her lower lip,her eyes shone the worry creeping up,reaching her face.

"I think is a fine idea,he's right Lily...that brother of mine has an agenda,an as of yet we know not what that is,that nutter is capable of anythin' it's best ya get distance from all this shite"

"yes,but what about you and Kate?..I just can't leave you here with that bastard roaming about,he's already trashed our place,and..." looking away from Ken now,"more than likely Croft has met his end at the hands of that lunatic"

putting a hand on her shoulder,Ken squeezed gently.

"lass,stayin' here isn't going ta prevent him from doing it either,an I won't stand fer him puttin' his hands on ya an that wee Eithne, as fer Tom _,I only worry the boy will kill him"_

Ken knew me too well _,_ I would send my father to the devil himself.. _hell,I'd deliver the sonofabitch to his front gates..personally,or die trying._

"please Lily,I cannot protect you an the baby like I want to..here, _we need to leave"_ I implored.

"Lily,no need ta worry,I keep me eye on Kate,whether the ol'girl likes it or not" he winked.

Staring at both men,I didn't like the idea of leaving Ken and Kate,but Ken..was right,it made no difference if we did stay..Tom's father _would and could_ do whatever he wanted,he had so far.

"alright..I don't like it,but you do make a good point Ken" I sighed.

 

It was not easy to leave,and the flight ridiculously longer than I remembered,maybe cause this time we had a baby with us and at times Eithne wasn't keen to her trip,and during _those_ times I would try to coax her fussy little butt into nursing,and to add to my distraction on a plane full of people Tom thought it  would be fun to tease me by laying his head in my lap,bottom lip popped out murmuring in a pout _"what about me mummy?"_

 _fucker thought he was cute..._ not even in the slightest.

By the time we arrived at the Beach House, I noted today Eithne was exactly six months old,half way to a year old,why I thought of this?.. _it was here_ when I learned I was pregnant with her,it seemed so long ago,yet in reality it wasn't.

eagerly Tom jumped out of the car and already had Eithne out of the car seat, holding her up in the air,bouncing her about cooing and babbling like an idiot to her,I really shouldn't call him that,Tom is wonderful if not somewhat child-like in his parenting,he loved his daughter no matter how goofy he was when he interacted with her,and that was perfectly fine with me.

"we should get her in the house Tom,it's getting pretty cold and I'll get the heater on so the house is warmed"

Tom looked affronted,as he cradled Eithne who wore a scrunched up face,either she was unamused or...making a poop.

"Lily,she has Highlander blood in her.. _trust me_ ,she can handle it, besides this cold _is nothing_ compared to Scottish weather" 

"just take her in the house" tossing him the keys over to him which he caught effortlessly "besides,I think her diaper might be full"

giving me a blank stare,then looking at Eithne I swear he started sniffing.

"she doesn't smell"

 _"trust me._.she doesn't always have to to be packing a load. _.now go"_ I pointed to the house.

Having gotten things settled,Tom had already called Ken to check in, so far things there were still quiet,local police checked in with him and Kate,making sure all was well,though Ken did say Kate nearly _put a foot in his boys._.when he suggested that she stay a few nights at his place just for protection.

something about _"this is what I get tryin' ta be chivalrous,threats of havin' a foot in me jewels...I think she be fine on her own"_ all Tom could do was snicker while looking at me,and reply _"I know what you mean..it's in the bloodline I think"_

"Tom,I'm going to take a shower,and wash the hours of air/car travel off me,please watch the baby"

"aw..you would do that now so I couldn't join you" he whined.

"stop being a walking boner for once and let me bathe unmolested,play with your daughter..she's still full of energy,wear her out so she'll take a nap"

Tom looked down at Eithne who was standing in her portable crib,hanging onto the edge of it with one hand,staring up at him,pointing up with one little chubby finger.

"DAH!"

 "what?"

 _"DAH!"_ with more conviction in her tone and waving her arm still pointing,Tom reached down picking her up, _"aaaaaaah,dah dah dah"_

it was evident of how pleased she was,her little hands planted on each side of his face,patting them gently.

 _"daddy's little girl"_ he cooed.

that earned him a throaty,bubbly gurgle,Tom chuckling,and that's where I left them going for the shower I desperately needed.

Having thrown on some grey yoga pants an stolen one of Tom's white t-shirts,I but my still damp hair up in a sloppy bun making my way to the living room.

where I found father and daughter...out cold,Tom was sprawled on the floor with a throw pillow under his head,Eithne was laying across his chest on her belly snoring quietly,smiling it was the most picture perfect I'd seen them in some time.

carefully scooping up the small bundle,she stiffly stretched as I placed her in the crib,covering her up she drifted back off to sleep,taking a blanket off the back of the couch I draped it over Tom and let him continue his slumber.

sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee I watched the rain pelt the sliding glass door, obscuring the view of the beach down below,the wind was picking up,so I could make out the trees blowing in the distance.

it was quiet with the exception of the wind,rain and..Tom's snoring from the living room,grinning I would have to remember to give him shit about that later.

my peaceful moment came to an end when my cell went off,it was Ken, his ringtone all too familiar.

"hey...Kate still giving you shit?" I chuckled.

there was a pause,then what sounded like a heavy swallow.

_"eh..no darling"_

"Ken..what's wrong?..you don't sound good..oh god,its Toms dad.. _hes done something..what?"_

getting up from the table I quickly scurried to the bedroom,making sure not to wake Tom or Eithne,closing the bedroom door behind me.

 _"aye..he has_ ,an I want nothin' more than to saddle up Braun an hunt the feckin' monster down meself, but.." he sighed, "Kate won't have it,that an the Chief Constable warned me..wanker"

"what is it Ken?..tell me"

"it seems me brother has takin' a vulgar likin' ta...killin' livestock as well..little girl..I'm sorry.. _Harper's gone"_ clapping a hand over mouth to smother the cry that came out,choking at first,my eyes burning as the tears formed, _"I sorry darlin'.._ Kate didn't want me ta tell ya, but I know how much that mare meant ta ya..just so ya know though that Stallion..Loki,he fought fer her,fought _real hard,_ got himself scraped up pretty good,but..the vet saw ta him,he's fine"

 _"Goddamn him!..who does shit like that!?..fuck him,I hope he rots in hell!"_ I wailed,unable to hold it in any longer.

that's when the door to the bedroom flung open,Tom stood still holding the door knob,looking wild eyed.

"the hell is going on!?"

"yo..your sick fucking father..he's killing animals _,he..he killed Harper"_

handing the phone off to Tom,I rolled on my side,crying Tom's arm wrapping about me holding me close to him as he spoke to Ken. _  
_

"yea..I heard,I don't care what Kate says,or how much of fit she pitches..drag her kicking and screaming back to your place,my father has bumped up his level of depravity,..he means to do harm by any means to anyone or anything..I'm afraid she'll be next Ken"

after talking a few moments more the call was over,pulling me up in his arms,he cleared my hair from my face,wiping away an occasional tear.

"listen baby..Ken and Kate are going to stay with some friends rather than have Kate stay with Ken, far from the area their in, neighbors and friends will keep an eye on their farms..the police said its just too dangerous now for either of them to stay"

"good" I nodded,sniffing at my tears.

resting his forehead on mine,he whispered.

_"I'm sorry about Harper Lily,I really am"_

_"if I ever_..meet your father again... _I'll kill him myself,not just for a Horse I was fond of, your mom your sisters,and the man he likely murdered over a piece of jewelry, and for you.."_ I looked up at him angrily, _"for just being alive an continuing to make your life a living hell cause he finds purpose in it!"_

"Lily..no" Tom shook his head, "he'll get his,but you need to understand.. _this will not.._ be by your hand.

 

                                                                                To be Continued...


	25. Ghosts of Times Past

The unsettling news had affected Lily so,that she had grown quiet,only to interact with Eithne,it seemed she couldn't bring herself to look at me much,when she did.. _there was pain_ in those big blue eyes of hers.

it was my father's doing the barmy sonofabitch,he really was doing his bloody best to continually destroy my life by going through those I love,he never could stand to see me happy...or anyone else really,his track record was proof of that.

Thomas Sr. was a miserable shit of a man.

so now was probably the best time to present something I had been meaning to give to Lily at a better time..as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, the voice in my head asked  _and when would that be?_ ,it seemed every time things were on an upswing...everything went to shit.

blowing a sigh,determined to turn things around. _.to turn her mood around_ , I would give her this gift I had in my possession since we left Scotland,Lily more than deserved it and I believed it would at least take her mind off this latest tragedy.

standing behind the couch watching her sleep,this was the most peaceful I had seen Lily in the last forty eight hours,leaning over the back of the couch I carefully with one finger lifted a long stray sable strand of her hair that was draped over her face,placing it off to the side.

while still bent over I took her left hand and slid a ring on her left finger that had bore my Mum's wedding ring,but this was  no ordinary ring,a Claddagh, and as tradition says I made sure the crown was turned outwards,indicating she was engaged.

it was a Scottish Claddagh ring,sterling silver with a Celtic weave band,and interwoven in the band I had it inscribed in Scottish Gaelic _Mo ghràdh bithbhuan -_ my love forever, and she definitely was that.

placing her hand gently back on her stomach Lily began to stir,a nose twitch,lips twisting then her eyelids fluttered as a low groan mad its way out of her she stretched,arms reaching above her as she arched her back.

 _"hey"_ I whispered,smiling down at her.

blinking,Lily looked upward,slowly a smile spread across her lips.

_"hey"_

crouching now,resting my chin on folded arms on the back of the couch waiting to see if she'd notice what I had put on her finger.

"sleep well,darling?"

 _"I guess"_ yawning,she pushed herself up,rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand,stopping Lily looked at her left hand,then up at me curiously, "whats..this?"

"whats it look like?" 

moving her hand slowly back and forth,examining it closely.

"a Claddagh"

"that it is,darling.."

looking back to me,here eyes had softened.

"but..why?"

climbing over the the top of the couch only cause I was an ill mannered git,I joined Lily at her side,she was still inspecting the ring with interest.

"Lily..I wanted you to have something, after Croft took Mum's....well,and things being what they are now" taking her hand rubbing the ring with the pad of my thumb,"the likelihood of ever getting my Mum's ring back..." looking at her,"I wanted you have this.. _from me"_

 _"it's..beautiful"_ she spoke softly looking at the jewel on her finger.

"I had it inscribed in the inside of the band,it says Mo ghràdh bithbhuan that means, _my love forever,_ in Scottish Gaelic" her eyes traveled upward,I could see the wordless emotion in them,taking her hand I kissed it."I know I'm a crass wanker at times.. _a lot_ of the time,but its you that seems to bring the. _.man_ in me.. _out_ ,and it is one of things I love about you,and now..with this shit going on in our lives,I've never felt more like a man,wanting to protect you and our child,and another reason I'm proud to one day be your husband"

closing her eyes,a tear escaped the corner of her right,then her left eye,trickling down her cheeks,her other hand had clasped around my hand I held of hers,she whispered.

_"Mo ghràdh bithbhuan"_

 

Soon as the rain had quit Tom decided to and I for one was glad of it, go for a run on the beach. _.fully clothed_.It was long over due and here at least there was no chance of him getting into trouble,not unless he happened upon a batch of kelp and decided slap some unsuspecting tourist or resident with a long rope of it.. _like he did with me._

grinning at the memory,then wincing recalling how sore my ass was because of the crappy, impulsive,childish move,hoping to hell there wouldn't be a repeat...if you find any kelp _,leave that shit on the beach Tom..please.  
_

with Tom busying himself and the baby doing pretty much the same in her crib, I decided there was nothing for me..my mind was otherwise occupied...Ken's phone call still had me a bit unsettled.

knowing what would at least do me some good,I picked up my cell and made good use of speed dial.

"was wondering when you would call,..how are you fairing,darling?"

could always count on the mellowed tone of Lennox voice to put me at ease,I literally felt the dread and the rest of the crap that had been festering in me,drain from my body.

"oh. _.alright"_ I sighed,"all things considered I should be in an ER having a psych eval"

a gentle chuckle from the other end only made me smile,its a wonder this man hadn't checked himself in for one.

 _"you sure_  ..you don't want my job Lily?,you do have rather a good temperament for it"

"we've had this discussion before Lennox.. _.no"_

 "had to try,..well at least _one more time_ so no one can say I'm a lazy old git,Vera seems to think not only that,but has taken to telling me I'm a grumpy one too"

"she just likes to keep you on your toes" I chuckled,"makes her feel young you know,and in charge"

"that woman has been running the show the day I hired her,hasn't slowed down one bit...although" he snickered,it was almost devilishly,"I'd have to say the day your Thomas walked through my clinic doors,he gave her a run for her money,I think she might of actually handed in her resignation letter,however if she did, I don't recall it"

"hmm,somehow I feel that was done out of convenience rather than forgetfulness"

"ever the clever girl you are Lily"

"intelligence had nothing to do with it,from what I hear of Tom in his youth" I snorted,"you just didn't wanted to deal with his wild,vulgar ass by yourself,cause any other woman would of walked out not words or letter, you're lucky Vera stuck it out"

"indeed I am..as Thomas is fortunate you love him enough to come this far"

and as suddenly the conversation was mirthful,it turned serious.

_"yes"_

"which I'm assuming is why you've reached across a continent and  not to mention an Ocean to call me,yet again the chaos of his past is getting to you..am I correct Lily?"

"you know me too well,..I'm sure you are well aware of what his father has done..recently"

"yes darling,I am...Ken keeps me updated when he can,and when he can't..its usually the police,I'm very sorry by the way,about the Horse"

 _"yeah_..she was my favorite,a good ride" my voice had become somber.

"tell me..is Tom taking this..okay?"

"better than me,if you can believe that,hes actually on a run right now,no worries though,hes clothed,wearing a hoodie and..spandex running shorts that _leaves nothing_ to the imagination,its going to have the single women here deciding jogging on the beach rather than hanging out at the local bars are more productive and the married ones suddenly taking up beach combing in droves"

hearty laughter on his part forced me to grin _,he knew Tom_  had an exhibitionist streak in him,and if he couldn't go running in the buff,Tom was definitely going to wear something that gave his.. _parts_ not necessarily freedom,but somehow show it off.

"bless you Lily..you do have some serious strength to be putting up with that _particular_ behavior he has" the man was chuckling almost uncontrollably now.. _.thanks Lennox._

"there's more..if you can stop laughing long enough to hear it...Tom bought me an engagement ring,since his mom's ring as he sees it.. _long gone"_

"did he now?..I figured he would of waited until his Mum's ring was reclaimed"

"Lennox,we both know that's almost impossible,even Tom feels that way,that's why he got me a Claddagh even had it inscribed"

"a Claddagh?...that's an interesting choice of ring,tell me Lily,is the ring on your left hand with the Crown turned outwards?,away from you that is"

brows furrowed I thought it an odd thing to ask,so I looked,holding my left hand up...and indeed the crown was pointing outward..what did that mean?

"Lennox..how the hell did you know that?"

"it was just a guess Lily,but its tradition that when you wear your Claddagh on the left hand in that position,it means you are engaged"

"and Tom knew this?"

"I'm assuming his Mum taught him,she loved ancient folklore,perhaps took her love for reading,tried passing some of it onto her children,...maybe some of it sunk in with Thomas,what was the inscription?"

"Mo ghràdh bithbhuan, he said it meant, my love forever"

for the first time since I called,he was silent...that can't be good..shit.

"I haven't heard Scottish Gaelic in some time...at least not from Tom"

 _"from Tom?_..what's that suppose to mean?"

"Lily,I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone,not Ken,the police,nor my colleagues..the first time Thomas set foot in my office,granted he was a feisty little sod,but when he finally settled down,he said four words to me..only four, _bás ..olc ..deamhan..duaichnidh_ ,..Lily he spoke Gaelic, not English at first like one would expect,in order they mean death,evil,demon, gloomy/ugly..after  about a week he did speak English,but why he said those words in that tongue at first,I'll never know"

Tom was always an enigma,but this?... _woah_ ,a young boy barely in his teens,living in the wild,no education that anyone knew of, having suffered a terrible trauma and somewhere along the line he learned an ancient language,one I could barely wrap my own tongue around,..just who are you Thomas?

"perhaps..his mother?" I was grasping at straws here," you said she loved ancient folklore,tried to shared that with Tom and his sisters, maybe some of it was in Gaelic,and he picked it up from that?"

"you know,you may be onto something there Lily,I never made that connection. _.damn_ ,I must be getting old,my skills rusting up a bit,but that could be the answer to why Tom spoke Gaelic,that and his mum's family did own a Book store which I'm sure carried such literature"

 

Before getting off the phone Lennox assigned me a task concerning Tom.. _.lovely_ , it was either going to turn out to be interesting. _.or_ go over like a fart in church,I'd take interesting over a fart any day.

It had been close to two hours when Tom finally came back,sweaty of course,an smelly too,..ew..sitting on the couch with my back to him I sensed him walking by,time to put the task into motion.

"Ciamar a tha thu?"

"Tha gu math, tapadh leat, Ciamar a tha thu-fhein?"

I froze,..he answered me.. _in Gaelic_ without a hitch,and beautifully so,slowly turning around in my seat looking over at him,we both shared the same wide eyed stunned expression.

"Lily..when did you..learn.."

"I was about to ask you the same thing, _you knew_ what I said and answered me as if I spoke plain English"

giving a shrug,he seemed genuinely perplexed.

"I..I don't know"

"okay..just work with me here" I held a hand up,I was going to do a test of my own..here goes nothing "bás,olc,deamhan,duaichnidh"

scowling he walked over,he actually looked angry.

"Lily why are saying death,evil,demon, and ugly in the same language we both just greeted each other in?, the hell is going on?"

fuck.. _so he does know_ those words,but does he know he said them as a child?

"Tom...you used _those_ four words years ago when you first met Lennox,they were the very first words you ever used and in _that_ language...I was only curious as to why?,did you learn it from your mom?"

the look in his eyes seem to darken a bit..had I fucked up?,did I open a door that should of remained shut?

"A'bhiast as mutha ag ithe na beiste as lugha, it was the first phrase Mum taught me..it means _big fish eat little fish_ , the literal meaning is, men are like fish; the great ones devour the small,I took it as, _people like your father destroy the good ones like ourselves"_

turning away he headed down the hall quietly,when I heard the bathroom door shut I released the breath I hadn't noticed I had been holding. _  
_

this was definitely a fart in church....

 

                                                                        _To be Continued..._


	26. Ghosts of Times Past

The past events with Tom's dad were only five days ago,not to mention the whole speaking Gaelic thing,.. _that was weird_ , _and where I thought I had fucked up I guess had not,_ or at least it seemed I didn't,Tom's mood was of all things...good, the only fights we did have I counted at least two that included pillows an Eithne even got caught up in that one,hanging onto the edge of her portable crib bouncing on her legs so enthusiastically it shook the crib, squealing loudly her excitement, another involving food,I wore ketchup,Tom..Mustard, and then...well it wasn't actually fighting,but wrestling was involved and sex was the end result, that happened.. _several times._

all things considered,we were handling things reasonably,I guess getting away from the epicenter of hell was a great idea,at least with the latest news,the winding down period wasn't like the usual,it was bothersome,but easier to deal with, _and it showed the most with Tom._

and what I loved most about it,Tom was spending more time with our Daughter,whether it was changing her diapers,bathing ,playing and as of recent introducing her to food,other than breast milk that is, it got comical at times.

case in point,we were at the kitchen table,I was eating my toast and eggs while Tom decided to give Eithne her first taste of applesauce,he was _so_ pleased when it looked as if she was beginning to eat it, then.. _ppphhhtttt,_ and now he was...wearing it.

_"do not_..laugh"

_"ahahahahahahaha!"_

meanwhile, Eithne continued to spray her father with the pureed apple,making throaty little chuckles in-between her raspberries as he sat there looking helpless with glops of it all over his face and hair,well not looking entirely helpless,I picked up on a hint of a _piss off_ in his expression directed at me of course.

sliding a box of wipes over to him,I gave him a tight closed lip smile,my best _told you so_ without saying a word,taking them Tom mouthed to me.

_"you-me"_ he pointed over his shoulder towards the bedroom, _"later"_

"as if" I snorted before biting into my toast.

_"Lily"_ his voice trying to convey some authority. _.his bruised ego was showing._

"don't _Lily,_ me..just because your daughter made you look like an ass, I told you this wouldn't end well and if you think I'm going to let you _go native_ on me in the bedroom to save face" shaking my head,"you aren't the only father who was made to wear his baby daughters food..and you won't be the last, _so just man up Thomas"_

the blank stare I got was nothing short of his way of saying _fine!,but woman.. we will eventually be discussing this my way..in the bedroom.._.fucking Neanderthal.

 

Finally as the breakfast crisis was dealt with Tom decided with Eithne today was a day of _firsts_ ,and he had bundled her up and they went for a walk,her first trip to the beach. _.thank god,_ for awhile there I thought Tom was going to put her down for a nap and he was going on a mission and make good on his _bedroom discussion._

he wanted me to join them,but I declined to stay and clean up after Eithne,seems her spray radius was more impressive than I originally thought,it went far beyond just her fathers face,a wall,floor,sliding glass door.. _my daughter was just as primitive as her father.._ her excuse,she was still a baby whereas Tom. _.acted like one.  
_

halfway into scrubbing off the applesauce that by now had turned to cement on the sliding glass door and I could of sworn I heard someone was knocking on the door,turning an ear to listen and sure enough... _  
_

who in the hell?

slowly opening the door,standing there..a man I'd never seen before, older,average height,dark blonde hair combed back,slight scruff on his face,dressed casually and...there was a mirth to his hazel blue eyes.

"hello love,you must be Lily"

 he's English too, _and just how in the fuck did he know who I was?_

"uh..depends on who's asking?"

"sorry, Doctor Tim Ratliff" he dug around in the pocket of his shirt,then held up a business card,grinning broadly,"and just so ya know I'm legit,I'm a colleague of Lennox,formerly a student of his..but that was bloody ages ago"

a colleague of Lennox?..okay what the hell is that old goat up to. 

"a shrink" I held the card,"and why are you here?"

"ah,right to the point love, well he did say you were like that..Lennox asked me as a favor if I would check on you and Tom,though he also asked me not to tell you that,but I was never good at doing what I was told" he looked up thoughtfully "guess that's why I never made the Dean's list"

okay this Ratliff is a quirky sort.

"then its a good thing you were never Tom's Psychiatrist, he's never done a damn thing hes told,still acts like a child,you two would never would of accomplished anything"

Doctor Ratliff grinned,nodding.

"so I'm told,but I'll have you know..I've met Tom,but it was a long time ago,he was in his early teens,don't know if he'll remember me..angry lad back then,hated anyone in a white lab coat,can't say as I blame him,bunch of wankers with more degrees than pedigree saying they are there to help you an all they do is ask you shitty questions and give you more drugs than most people used in the sixties..better stuff too" he shrugged making a face "or so I'm told"

oh my god..where did this guy come from?. _.he use to be one of Lennox's students!?_

"uh..yeah" wrinkling my forehead,"I've never really been analyzed..or in Tom's shoes for that matter,so I guess I'll have to take your word on that"

with both hands firmly planted in his pants pockets he leaned in,a crooked smile appearing.

"well darling its only a synopsis,but trust me..but that's pretty much what Tom experienced,his case was... _unusual_ ,in that what took place doesn't happen in that area of Scotland,every shrink." he winked, "was willing to sell their best tea set to have a chance to talk to Tom"

"you mean _study and impose tests on him_ like a fucking lab rat" folding my arms,"his uncle told me..Lennox got the job and even he wasn't what Tom or his Uncle took a shine too"

Ratliff nodded,his expression though.. I was not sure whether he was refraining from laughing or not,his face remained composed but those eyes..danced with an amusement.

"never said Lennox wasn't among those wankers I spoke of,he was just  favored above the others in his field by Scotland Yard to handle the Psychiatric end of the case"

did he just call Lennox a wanker?..this guy was _definitely_ unconventional.

"Lennox a wanker eh?. _.yeah_ Tom will like you,he'll be suspicious at first,but he'll warm up,don't be surprised though if he tells you to fuck off first"

"like I said,I've met him before,...he uh" Ratliff scratched at his chin whiskers,"how do I say this?..well,I introduced myself,extended my hand and.. _well_..he pissed on my shoes"

_"he what!?"_

"oh yeah,yeah" he said with nonchalance, "with a shit eating grin as he did it,he was about..oh I think..fourteen then,Tom could give a rats ass as to who was watching either..kinda envied the little sod having the bollocks to do something like that" he was smirking now.

I thought I heard _everything_ concerning Tom and his idiosyncrasies.. _Jesus Christ!_

"Lily!..we're back"

_oh shit_ ,looking over my shoulder,it was then I realized I hadn't invited the Doctor inside,turning back to Ratliff.

"um..geez,yea,sorry come on in..this should be interesting"

Ratliff and I made our way towards the kitchen where the sliding glass door was and Tom and Eithne were, rounding the corner I balked,having not seen how Tom dressed the baby beforehand,..note to self, _next time make sure you do_ , my daughter was wearing a light pink puffy Down Bunting snow suit,complete with a pointy hood, in a word she looked a miniature human starfish with her arms an legs stiffly sticking out at her sides as Tom held her up to me.

"Jesus Tom..can she move?"

gently tugging the hood off,he small curls instantly popped up,gurgling with a smile Eithne seemed relieved to be done with the garment.

"my..someone seems to have inherited her fathers hair,and this lovely lass wear them tresses well"

It was Toms turn to balk, handing the baby over to me as I finished taking the suit off of her.

"Lily.. _who's this?"_

"ah..sorry, I'm Doctor Ratliff a friend of Lennox, he had me drop by..see how you were doing,but..in all fairness Tom,like I told Lily here..we've met before"

_"have we?"_ Toms eyes narrowed with suspicion,"when?"

"well" Ratliff an I exchanged looks,then he looked back at Tom, "you were a young chap then,bloody angry one too an..took to _pissing_ on my best Oxford shoes,..ring any bells?" Tom's eyes looked aside as if searching his memories, "I do have to say...you've turned out to be better looking than last I saw you, still a bit lanky,but you've filled out Tom...healthier"

"so I pissed on your shoes,you'll have to be more specific than that..you wouldn't be the only shrink that had that honor" he folded his arms.

"seriously?"

_"what?."_ Tom glanced at me, "I didn't like Therapists back then..not keen on them now,I only tolerate Lennox as it is"

"you _really are_ an uncivilized git..if there's any reason for you to unfurl that damn dick..you'll do it,you better not be doing that shit anymore" I chided.

"Lily.."

_"don't give me that_ ,..besides that's fucking nasty,whipping out your..and peeing on people.. _honestly_ Thomas"

his whole composure slumped in defeat.

"I find this very interesting,on different levels" Ratliff walked over,smiling at both of us waging a finger, "you really have changed Tom, the boy I knew would of never taken the shit Lily just dished out,...not that you would of physically hurt her,but the verbal assault she would of received" he whistled looking at me now, "love..Tom here can describe what his intentions..sexually towards you without skipping a beat..I've heard him talk to the female staff,I didn't know teenagers knew half the things he did..impressive really..and _by the way"_ Ratliff was truly fighting off the urge to laugh, _"nice_ jab at the genitals Lily darling..subtle,but gets the point across" 

"hmm..why doesn't that surprise me,you can save me the details Doctor..Lennox has already informed me of Tom's sexual prowess throughout the years" giving a slight roll of my eyes.

now along with his decreasing poise,Tom's face went pink.

"are you through my love, I get it...I was a disrespectful,horny,fucking wanker back then..now I'm just.. _your_ horny wanker,can you live with that?" he threw up his arms.

"I wouldn't of  had your child or accepted your marriage proposal if I couldn't"

Well into an hour,an like I had said,Tom warmed up to Dr. Ratliff and actually apologized for peeing on his shoes all those years ago,that still threw me,I knew Tom had..issues back then..big ones _,but that._.damn.  

"how come you weren't assigned to me?" Tom questioned while trying to fend off Eithne who was trying her damned best to tug on his chin whiskers.

"oh..well,for one I was in residency at the time,the authorities wanted someone established" Ratliff wore a lopsided grin,"were as I did have the credentials,I tend to be regarded a bit... _unorthodox_ in my methods,Lennox as you know..is a bit of a _I'm a tosser who goes by the book_ kind of Therapist"

Tom threw his head back laughing which startled Eithne earning him a squeal and a slap,taking the little hand and cooing to her she quickly calmed down.

"he's mellowed, not quite the tosser,and his methods..not so much by the book,in fact..I think he may of burned the bloody thing" Tom snickered.

reclined on the couch with his elbow resting on the arm, head propped on a hand Ratliff watched Tom with interest.

"I'm thinking he burned it after discovering you Tom,you my boy were an enigma,one for the books as we say in our line of work"

raising a brow,Tom handed over a now fussy Eithne,yeah..feeding time,while I positioned her,Tom leaned forward from where he sat.

"was I such an oddity?..I mean,peeing on you that was,weird I admit that, cannot even fathom as to what prompted that"

a wide grin instantly spread across Ratliff's face.

"oh that's easy. _.I.._ provoked it,you see,there was five of us,myself and four other of my colleagues,they were dressed in their pristine white lab coats,clipboards, where as I..opted not to, just regular trousers,a jumper and my _new_ Oxfords,and no clipboard, I went in armed with only the knowledge given about you"

 Tom and I exchanged looks,I simply shrugged.

"why so.. _casual_ about it?"

"Tom,like I said I don't go by the book, a white coat or clipboard isn't going to make my experience or my assessment of/with you likely successful..besides, approaching you knowing what I did,I thought it best I did it looking like any other bloke rather than like any other head shrinking twat you probably encountered"

Tom stared in disbelief.

"okay..it kind of makes sense,but what did you say or do that provoked me to" he cleared his throat "pee on your shoes"

sitting up I saw _that mirth_ in Ratliff's eyes amplify,uh oh.

"I asked you if you were a virgin"

 

                                                            _To be Continued...._

 

_Dr Ratliff_

__

_Photo credit/source- https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/05/2f/7c/052f7ced345dce8dd5a11002f2df14a0.jpg_


	27. Ghosts of Times Past

The room was quiet however briefly,but that was my fault,I let out a squeak just before falling over on the couch,laughing while Tom sat there with the most dumbfounded look on his face,complete with his mouth gaping open,as for Dr. Ratliff, he wore his amusement well.

 _"oh my god,that's freaking hilarious!!"_ I nearly choked as I continued laughing.

 _"you"_ Tom now pointed, "I do remember you now...yes,you in fact _did_ ask me that, which warranted me pissing on your shoes"

Ratliff leaned forward,resting his elbows on his knees.

"you never did answer the question"

"I'll have you know..I lost _it_ a year later" Tom smiled proudly,but when he saw my wide eyed look of disbelief,he quickly wiped that look off his face,clearing his throat,"it wasn't..a big deal really" trying to make light of the subject now.

 _Ratliff knew_ and was enjoying it.

"I see..first time,can be a bit of a fumble,and the poor lass usually gets left.. _out"_ he eyed Tom who was a lovely shade of red now.

Tom kept glancing over at me,it was obvious he was uncomfortable,rubbing his hands together,grimacing.

"uh..I guess"

seeing this as well,Ratliff was done torturing him. _.for now,_ and changed the subject.

"okay,we've cleared the air on the pissing incident,..was curious though,you ever talk to Vera as to why you stole her lipstick an wrote profanity on the men's loo walls at Lennox clinic?"

that caught us both by surprise.

"how the hell?" Tom scowled, "I was just a small lad then,long before you an I met,did Lennox tell you?"

"no,Vera did" taking a sip of his tea, "little secret on my part Tom..shes my Aunt,which is one of the reasons why when the chance came up to evaluate you,I jumped on that,had to meet the lad who nicked my Aunts favorite lipstick for the purpose of writing expletives in a loo..and from what I heard..you had an _extensive_ vocab for a young boy" Ratliff's grin moved into a snicker.

 _"Vera..is your Aunt?"_ Tom was stunned.

"yes,can't believe the old bird still kicking,but she is indeed a relative" Ratliff winked at Eithne who I think was actually making faces at him,"and if you mention to Vera that I said that remark about the _still kicking thing,_ I'll deny it" 

"Vera has never mentioned you,and I work with her" pointing to myself.

"shes not aloud too,its a confidentiality thing,bollocks really,but shes told me plenty about you Lily, my Aunt _adores_ you" he smiled.

"at least when I bring Eithne to work she does,when I don't..then I get shitty looks and the silent treatment"

 _"ah yes_ ,she is rather fond of her too" looking at Eithne again, _"you_ ,Miss wee thing have that old bird wrapped around that little finger of yours"

Eithne with a fist crammed in her mouth, gurgled staring at the stranger before her.

"and me?...putting the episode with her lipstick aside,didn't she have anything kind to say about me?"

somebody feels left out.

"kind..hmm?" Ratliff looked thoughtfully,"not sure you would call it that,but she spoke often of how you _amused_ yourself with the local women,and I'm putting that..delicately,at the rate you were going,it's wonder your prunes haven't dried up by now Tom" giving a nod at Tom's crotch.

Tom gave Ratliff an indignant as he took Eithne and held her out in front of him.

"fraid not" he snorted..Eithne burped.. _loudly._

 

Tom actually invited Ratliff for dinner,which consisted of Clam Chowder that we order out, from the local restaurant where oddly enough we had eaten at with Lennox and near the docks where I told Tom I was pregnant with Eithne.

and once again,Tom was trying to coax our daughter to eat real food,not sure Clam chowder was much better than applesauce,in fact I thought it was worse..seafood?..no.Ratliff and I watched closely as Tom put a small amount of Chowder on a spoon and offered it up to her.

screwing up her lips/nose...a definite _no._

"Tom,don't..she doesn't want it,probably smells foul to her" I implored.

"I agree,the Lass don't look too keen to it,you may wear it before she eats it" Ratliff tried to reason before taking a spoonful of his own chowder.

as if hearing us,Eithne turned toward me in her highchair, pointing to Tom.

 _"dah...aaah"_ it was a distressed look.

"you don't wan't that..do you peanut?"

still pointing,she waved the finger accusingly at him now as if to say, _hes trying to make me eat more weird shit,mom._

looking defeated,Tom put the spoon back in his bowl,then offered her a piece of his bread _,now that.._ seem to be more interesting,snagging it out of his hand,Eithne cramming it in her mouth like a half starved waif. _  
_

"ah,success!" Ratliff held up his bottle of Guinness in a toast.

Tom agreed,holding up his bottle as well,they clanked them together,and drank _,was I the only one here that thought this was just about the most asinine thing to witness?,watching a shrink and a new father celebrating a six month old eating her first food..bread._

"happy now?"

 _"delighted"_ Tom's  grin more cheesy than usual.

Eithne however was working over the sizable slice of bread her father had offered,cheeks now shiny with the butter that had been on it,quickly it was becoming a doughy lump and that's when she held it out to me,I assumed she was offering me a bite.. _.um I don't think so._

"no thank you peanut,I bet daddy would like some though"

"dah!"

Tom took one look at the gooey pasty ball in her hand,then at me who was grinning.

"yeah.. _dah_ ,have a bite,shes sharing"

"not likely,it isn't even bread anymore Lily" Tom wrinkled his nose.

 _"aw..you'll hurt her feelings"_ I pouted,even popped out my bottom lip.

"you're such _a shit,_ you know that" leaning in,wagging a finger at me.

_"ssheet!"_

that caught both of us off,looking over at Eithne,who I swear to God was wearing an identical grin that of what her father would,it was Ratliff's choking on his laughter that made us look away.

 _"bloody hell!_ ,shes definitely your offspring Tom!,cursing at only six months"

"Eithne..no" Tom shook his head,"that's a potty word"

being that she was only a baby,Eithne regarded him with a silly smile and carelessly tossing her _ball of dough_ where it landed in Tom's lap,with her giggling ensuing.

"Tom..she doesn't understand,and was only _repeating_ what she heard.. _from you"_ I scolded.

comprehending this,Tom gave both Ratliff and I a sheepish look as he picked up the doughy ball from his lap.

"so it begins..huh Doc?"

"so it seems Tom,that wee lass of yours,shes a quick learner" Ratliff took a swig off his bottle of Guinness,"look at it this way..you could of had a son"

I groaned.

 

-6 Months Later-

I sat staring at the picture...sighing,it only seemed like yesterday I was back in Scotland,bringing her into the world,and now..today..my little Eithne was one years old,Tom was off to the airport to pick up Ken and Kate,I wasn't about to celebrate this day without them,so I had them flown in..I took one more look at the picture before I went to wake her up from her nap..she really did take after her father,she was as beautiful as he was handsome... _and that red hair!_

 

 

 

_"mum..mum"_

looking down at my little charge,who evidently was already awake,and getting out of bed.

"did you even sleep?"

"ya"

she looked _too awake,I'm calling bullshit._

_"dah?"_

"he went to go get uncle Ken, and your cousin Kate from the airport,they flew in from Scotland to see you for your birthday"

crawling up in my arms,she wrapped her arms around my neck snuggling,then pulled away.

 _"yay!_..me day!"

 

 _Timing was everything_ , as the old saying goes and this turned out to be the worst, I was drying Eithne off from her bath when I heard...

"Lily, we're here!"

_"DAH!"_

her little arms went up...and she was gone before I could catch her...naked butt and all.

 _"Eithne!"_ I called after her.

too late.

I came down the hall with the towel, too see Tom holding his naked daughter,Ken and Kate laughing, Tom however..was not.

"I tried..but the minute she heard you" I shook my head.

"aye, she be takin' after her dad she has" Ken covered his mouth,"runnin' about starkers, _I knew it!"_

 _"are you through old man?"_ Tom grumbled.

I walked up to Tom with the towel to cover her.

"c'mon Eithne, it's not proper to be around people with your bum hanging out"

she giggled and playfully started slapping at one of her butt cheeks,giggling harder.

"ma butt mum-ee... _ehehehe"_

_oh good lord._

wrapping the towel around Eithne I took her from Tom whose face couldn't of looked more stunned as he released her into my arms, _actually it was more like Tom looked as if he was about to have a stroke..if I were to be honest,_ appears as if our daughter was going to be more like her father...than Tom anticipated.

 _"make some tea..now"_ I said in a hurried whisper.

It was a quick work,so I threw on Eithne a pair of her black leggings and her favorite pink/white short sleeve plaid flannel shirt,and she actually held still long enough that I put her hair up in a single ponytail, soon as that was done,giving a pat on her butt,she was off once again.

following not too far behind I was greeted by Kate who engulfed me in an embrace,something I was expecting and was sure Tom was treated too once her and Ken stepped into the terminal at the airport.

"aw love,we be missin' ya somethin' fierce"

"me too, I'm so glad you and Ken came out,it means a lot. _.and you both_ could do with a vacation"

"aye" she sighed, "things been calming down,but Scotland Yard haven't let up,..not since one of their own still be missin', that Croft bloke...still nothing" she shook her head sadly.

and they would be lucky if they did find him, _if Croft was dead_ ,from what I know of Tom's family's murder...his father wasn't the type to leave a _clean_ crime scene,damaged bastard that he is,likes to leave his mark,yeah..better if the authorities didn't find him at all.

"I'm just glad you and Ken are alright,and aloud back in your homes,..everything's going fine there..right?"

"yes Lily..no problems" she patted my shoulder,"we havin' enough people in the county checkin' on us and" she looked over her shoulder where Ken sat in the kitchen gently tossing Eithne in the air,"that ol' git is always up me arse,so..I'm fine"

"I must thank that. _.ol' git"_ grinning now, "he's been good to you and all of us for that matter,he doesn't have too,I know he feels guilty,being that its his brother that is responsible for all this shit"

Kate was about to say something when there was a knocking on the front door,Tom peered from the kitchen.

"I got it darling"

"are we expecting someone?" my brows knitted together.

Tom was already opening the door,and jovial greetings were being exchanged,I thought I recognized the voices,my eyes widened when I saw our guests.

"Dr Ratliff...LENNOX!"

both men turned,Lennox opened his arms up wearing his usual fatherly warm smile,ready to receive the hug he knew he was about to get.

"hello Lily darling" squeezing me like a long lost daughter,"you honestly thought I would miss this?"

looking up at him,I was puzzled.

"but how?"

"well,that would be the work of your fiancee,he called me,asked if I would like an excuse to get out of Scotland for a bit and not have to deal with any dodgy dealings concerning...well you know,so of course I was on the next plane to the States,swung by and grabbed Dr Ratliff on my way" he lifted my chin, "you look well Lily,it does this old mans heart good to know this"

Ratliff suddenly leaned in,speaking quietly in his impish manner.

_"and as for me,I'm always up for a party..even if its only for a cheeky toddler"_

giggling I covered my mouth,Lennox I could tell was not amused,but took it in stride.

"well Dr Ratliff you missed her latest...she did a spot on impression of her father when Kate an Ken arrived"

"really now?..how so"

"I barely had her out of the bath and the moment she heard her fathers voice. _.gone_..took off butt naked running through the house"

that made Lennox clap a hand over his mouth,the man knew firsthand to what I was talking about whereas Ratliff only heard stories.

Tom now joined us,giving us funny looks,between me giggling,Lennox trying to stifle his laughter and Ratliff's wry grin, I'm sure he was wondering just what the hell was going on?

"did I..miss something?" he looked curious.

"ah..no, Lily was just telling us the misadventures of. _.naked butt Eithne"_ Ratliff's wry grin remained, "seems the apple don't fall far from the tree..does it Tom"

with an eye roll filled with annoyance.

_"for fucks sakes Lily"_

all three of us chuckled watching Tom redden now.

 _"I love you"_ I whispered _,"but I did warn you about this..before she was born"_

 _"I know,I know_  "he groaned annoyingly.

 

                                                                      _To be Continued..._


	28. Ghosts of Times Past

Tom was _the proudest_ daddy I'd ever seen, he had redressed Eithne for her Birthday in a cute Lavender 3D Floral Chiffon and Mesh Flower Dress, and painstakingly put two little braids in her hair,complete with lavender ribbons on the ends to match her dress.. _much to Eithne's dismay,_ who had no problem letting her father know she thought the whole thing was shit and at several times was caught attempting to either undo her braids or to Toms horror. _.stripping._

It was Uncle Ken who came to the rescue,he had brought Eithne a few coloring books and some crayons with him and he set about coloring with her, which kept her preoccupied and thus the Braids and further divesting herself of any clothing was forgotten...thank god _, one naked butt Hiddleston running about in this family was enough._

but his crowning achievement was... **The Cake** ,not a grocery store bought one,or a made to order one from a Bakery, no...Tom insisted on making it himself,from a crappy cake mix out of a box, _sigh,_ well who was I to take this _normal_ moment from him?,even if it required him to use at least three cake mixes and me chewing his ass out so he wouldn't eat all the frosting before it reached the cake.

Eithne's cake was Strawberry,with the same frosting,topped with a few real strawberries slices bordering it with whip topping piped in-between them..I think Tom was going with a theme here, I admit..it did look good,and Eithne loved it,I didn't think her eyes could get any bigger until her father brought the cake out to her as we all sang "Happy Birthday" to her,even her little mouth was opened to a perfectly shaped "O"

after we helped her blow out the candle,Tom gave Eithne the first slice of course... _the biggest damn piece._

"Tom..that's too much,even for her" I protested.

"Lily,it's her birthday..shes suppose to have a big piece of cake..."

before he could finish,Eithne took both hands and buried them in the ridiculous hunk of cake sitting on the tray of her high chair,squeezing it,making silly,throaty noises of child like pleasure at what she was doing,her small tongue popped out and then.. _she mashed it all over her face._.great Tom,mission accomplished,though we all started laughing as she began to eat her treat with gusto unbeknownst to Eithne..she had a Strawberry slice pasted to her forehead.

"aye,she has this birthday thing down already" Ken crowed proudly,"be like her father,goes in an takes it by the bollocks"

Lennox,Ratliff and Kate began laughing,I followed suit,it was Tom who looked at all of us like we were a bunch of assholes,but it was his daughter who distracted him by holding up a mushy glop of cake in offering.

"Da..cake!"

the man was won over by the charms of his confectionery covered daughter who was rather insistent he have a bite,surrendering Tom knelt by her letting the child feed him,though most of it got mashed into his chin whiskers,it was at this point no one had the heart to tease him,we just watch the sweet interaction of father and child,Tom doing his _"nom nom nom"_ as he tried to eat from her fingers and Eithne's string of giggles.

I hadn't noticed I was crying until Lennox discreetly offered me a napkin.

"see..all those times when everyone said you were good for Tom. _.this_ is was what we meant,one blessing after another you have given him,first was love and those things that go with it and now...what we are seeing in this moment,the joy of fatherhood"

 _well fuck this wasn't helping with the tears,thanks a lot Lennox_.

"I'm not so certain about all that,I just think the.. _little boy_ ,you told me about that was wounded,inside...he just needed to heal before Tom _the Man,_ could"

 Lennox placed a fatherly hand on one of mine.

"and you honestly think Lily, you've no part in that?,I knew a much different Tom than the one you first met,a more offensive and dark young man,one that I feared might not have much more time on this earthly plain,living as recklessly as he had..you changed that,take some credit darling,you have more than earned it" patting my hand now.

 _"I know"_ I murmured.

lifting my left hand slightly,we both observed the Claddagh ring resting on my finger,Lennox looked upon it fondly.

"clearly this. _.to me_ anyways,is proof Thomas has made his way through some obstacles,one being,allowing others. _.in_ ,to be loved in the way that another should be,not in the impetuous,wanton nature he was going about it"

well that was something we could agree on.

"true, _it wasn't easy_ ,but...when someone or something is worth fighting for.. it rarely is" I sighed.

 

The festivities having been over,and Lennox and Ratliff went back to their Hotel,Ken an Kate retired to their guestrooms,that left Tom to clean up Eithne and me...to just clean up.

after about an hour and I deemed the kitchen and dining room worthy of spotlessness, I headed to bed,I was as Tom would put it "knackered",I was halfway down the hall when I heard music,it was low,but I also heard the low murmurings of someone singing along.

approaching the bedroom door that was almost closed,I peeked in, Tom was lying on his back on his back with Eithne draped across his chest fast asleep,wearing of all things..one of this white t-shirts,his hand gently rubbing up an down the length of her small body.

then it caught my attention,the somber look on his face,staring upward as he continued to murmur along with the words of the song playing on the cd player next to him. _  
_

_So tired that I couldn't even sleep_  
So many secrets I couldn't keep  
_Promised myself I wouldn't weep_  
_One more promise I couldn't keep_

 _It seems no one can help me now_  
_I_ ' _m in too deep_  
_There's no way out_  
_This time I have really led myself astray_

 _Runaway train never going back_  
_Wrong way on a one way track_  
_Seems like I should be getting somewhere_  
_Somehow I'm neither here nor there_

 _Can you help me remember how to smile_  
_Make it somehow all seem worthwhile_  
_How on earth did I get so jaded_  
_Life's mystery seems so faded_

 _I can go where no one else can go_  
_I know what no one else knows_  
_Here I am just drownin' in the rain_  
_With a ticket for a runaway train_  

A lump formed in my throat,I knew this song..it always made me sad when I heard it,but _why_ was Tom singing it with such a familiarity?,like he could relate...maybe because he could on a certain level,I listened to him some more.  _  
_

_Bought a ticket for a runaway train_  
_Like a madman laughin' at the rain_  
_Little out of touch, little insane_  
_Just easier than dealing with the pain_

slowly opening the door,making my way towards him,Tom didn't even look away,but outstretched an arm to me,crawling on the bed,he curled the arm about my shoulders,pulling me to him,turning the cd player off.

 _"that was my song...back when,when I wasn't myself,when I was a wild selfish git"_ he spoke softly, _"when.."_

 _"you were lost"_ I finished.

"undeniably so" he pressed me closer into him,I reached over giving Eithne some playful but soft pats on her butt,"however...I got you and Eithne, how can any man feel/be lost or even be a selfish asshole and have what I do in my life.. _he can't Lily"_

"no..he can't" I agreed.

"that's why I'll never understand my father"

"Tom" propping myself up so I could look him in the eye, _"that monster_ was no father,a father never treats his children as he did you and your sisters, as a man" I snorted, "he wasn't even that,the way he treated your mother _was vile..._ you" I pointed a finger hard into his chest _,"are a man and a father,something that sonofabitch will never be"_

his azure eyes softening,lifting his head I met him halfway for the kiss I knew he was looking for,the tickle of his whiskers,taste of cinnamon of his mouth that I still couldn't figure out from which came from,his tongue brushing gently against mine before parting.

 _"I still think I don't deserve you"_ his fingertips caressing my chin.

 _"all the best men think that way"_ giving him a peck on the nose,"and I'm quite happy with you,whether you feel deserving of me or not"

"even if...um,I think its time for us to go home?"

well I wasn't expecting that,was he feeling homesick?,but what about all the shit with his aforementioned bastard of a father?

"go home?"

"Lily,I talked to Ken...its safe,even Lennox says it would be fine,things have calmed down and there's always a presence of local law as well as Scotland Yard about, darling...what do you say?"

 _I could see it_...the call of home written all over him,and I knew Tom wouldn't sacrifice the safety of Eithne and I, just to respond to it,he had evolved in his thinking among other things.

"when do we leave?"

I don't think the man could of made his toothy smile any bigger as they appeared brilliantly through his goatee,but in his excitement he sat up quickly dumping Eithne onto her back,sprawling in-between us with a snort followed with a squeal of surprise.

 _"shit!"_ scrambling to pick up the fussy child,Tom held her to his chest,gently bouncing her,shushing quietly _"ssh..sshh, daddy's sorry..sshh"_ Eithne nuzzled an sniffled sleepily into his chest _,"yes I know..daddy's a git,sshh"_

watching this,trying hard not to giggle at him,he looked over at me with a sheepish look,still trying to calm her.

_"you're what every father should be Tom"_

in that moment he looked as if he were about to cry,but refrained,giving me a small smile just before place a kiss atop Eithne's head. _  
_

 

 _"Goddamn_ ,I forgot just how cold this place gets in the winter" I shivered,pulling up the collar of my coat.

looking over at Tom,his head was back,eyes closed,the light wind danced at the ginger curls that rested at the back his neck... _he was feeling it in his blood_...he was home.

"it is Kitten, but it wouldn't be the same without you and Eithne,it would just be..nothing"

"Tom...that's cheesy shit,pull your head out of the Scottish fog and lets get inside before your dick gets frostbite"

jerking his head in my direction,it was a dirty look,giving him a smirk.

 _"well welcome back Thomas_ ,Ken will be here shortly to pick us up,in the meantime I'm going back inside the airport and wait like normal people do,besides..Eithne doesn't need to get sick "

frowning at me I sensed his inner smartass about to rise..in three..two..one.

"fine Lily, piss on my homecoming,I'll just go find a beach nearby,bring some blokes with me,build a bonfire, and we'll just dance naked around it shaking our dicks"

 _oh my god_..he quoted me,but it was long ago since I had said it.

 _"oh I see how it is_ ,you'll invite some strangers to this..male holy sacrament, but you won't invite me?..I mean I could add to it,granted I have no dick,but I could shake my tits"

staring blankly at me,I believe I actually managed to shock the man.

_"aye ya gonna stand out in the cold an catch yer death ya git!?,get in the car Tom and that woman an wee babe outta the weather"_

_yes Ken!_ ,great timing.

All the way hom Ken chattered away,mostly about the livestock,new calves and piglets and how Braun needed a _good run_ ,been cooped up too long, since he's been busy with new arrivals and asking Tom if he would do the honors,which he accepted the offer,he missed the big draft horse.

I noticed we were turning toward Kate's place,Ken caught my eye in the rearview mirror.

"promised yer cousin I'd bring ya all by before ya went ta the Cottage" he winked,"she be excited"

"I think you just want an excuse to get a hold of some of her Apple jelly,don't bullshit me Ken" I snickered.

"eh,had me some of that this mornin' with me coffee ya little shit" he chuckled,"an she sent me home with three jars of it,so ya can stow it missy"

As we pulled in,Kate was already outside,bundled up ready to greet us,waving her arms.

"blasted woman's goin' ta freeze her arse off,I bet she be standin' here fer awhile" Ken said as he parked the car,shaking his head.

exiting the car,she hugged Tom,Eithne,then me Kate was so caught up in the moment she almost even hugged Ken,who actually wouldn't of minded it _,he was Hiddleston after all._

 _"aw geez ya barmy arsehole"_ she slapped his arm,"buggar off"

 _"what?,_ I could use me a hug too Katie" wearing a cheeky smile.

"Ken..don't be a tit,if shes anything like Lily,she'll be handing your ass to you" Tom chuckled _,"then again_ ,I'd pay several hundred pounds to see that"

I ended up being the sensible one and calmed everyone down enough to at least get us in the house where we could warm back up,plus Eithne's nose was turning red from the cold,that's all I needed first thing back home.. a sick cranky ass toddler to deal with.

and I was grateful after having been in the house only a short time she passed out,guess the long plane ride was catching up with her,so I laid her on the bed I once occupied when I lived here.

"Lily"

looking up from my cup Kate stood smiling.

"yes?"

"would ya be so inclined as ta go for a walk with me" she extended a hand.

looking around that's when I noticed Tom and Ken's absence,I hope they didn't sneak off to drink some of that _nasty homemade piss_ as Kate called it, from one of Ken's mates ,to celebrate our homecoming,gawd that's all I need... _Tom blasted,packing an erection from hell and wanting to make good use of it._

Hooking her arm with mine we began our walk,just talking about everything from what Tom and I did during our time in the states to how well she did at the winter festival with her Apple Jelly and letting me know Rory was missing us wondering how big Eithne was,well Tom an I would just have to pay him a visit and bring Eithne. _  
_

Kate stopped,taking me by both hands.

"ya know love,when you an Tom an the wee lass left..things here were..shite,as ya know..that was bad enough,but when that nutter of a father of his.." she swallowed,"went after me livestock" shaking her head, "I was beside meself with grief"

it was then I realized we were standing in front of the Stables...the obvious tightening in my chest told me this was not where I wanted to be. _.not now._

"Kate"

"bear with me Lily,please.."

my body jolted slightly at the sound of the stable door sliding open,Ken?,and he was smiling,then Tom..what the? as he walked out my eyes widened,holding a lead rope he brought out a horse...a magnificent animal,it looked like Harper with the exception of four white socks.

"um..uh" squinting my eyes as I studied the animal.

"Lily..shes yours,if ya want her,...shes not Harper,but she be a part of her"

"what?" looking back to Kate.

"her name is Skye, after her place of birth the Isle of Skye, ya see Lily long before ya came here, I made a mistake in me thinkin' I left Harper out in the pasture for a bit of exercise..not knownin' she be in season" she sighed, " _that arsehole Loki did however_ ,..bleedin' Stallion nearly destroyed his stall gettin' to her..and here ya see the end product" she made a gentle sweep of her hand towards the mare,"me friends in the Isle been takin' care of her,broke her too"

releasing my hands as Tom approached us,the mare seem to have a good temperament,even leaned in sniffing at me,her light wispy bit of whiskers tickled my face causing me to giggle,I aloud myself to caress her velvety muzzle,which she accepted whuffling her approval.

 _"she..shes beautiful Kate"_ I choked,trying hard not to cry,"shes like her mom,likes her muzzle to be touched,some horses hate that,its too sensitive an area,..but Harper"

cutting myself off,trying to divert my attention to Skye,running my hand down her neck,still fighting the tears that were leaking out of the corners of my eyes now.

 _"new memories darling_ " Tom's voice whispering came from behind me,in my ear, _"Skye is a gift from not only Kate,but from Harper too,think of teaching our Eithne to ride her,the joy our daughter will have..,like you did when you rode Harper"_

turning around I folded myself into his arms,face buried in his chest where he held tight,kissing the top of my head.

_"Haw-see!"_

all four of us quickly looked towards the house..shit!..she was pointing,her little feet shuffled across the ground,Eithne's walking abilities were still in its primary stage,but the little toad was on a mission and it was evident that she had seen Skye.I was just impressed Eithne managed to figure her way through the house and out the door.

Tom jogged over sweeping her up,taking his jacket off,wrapping it about her.

_"Haw-see Dah!..Haw-see"_

Tom brought her over so Eithne could meet the Horse,bouncing in his arms excitedly,she reminded me of myself when I was little seeing my first horse,he took her by the hand showing her how to gently pet Skye on the neck,Tom would let go an she would do exactly what he had shown her. _  
_

"you like Skye,shes pretty huh Eithne?"

"ya. _.pwetty"_

watching my daughter who took a great interest in the animal as Tom sat her on Skye's back,Eithne was a natural,grasping at the withers,beaming an repeated what Tom had taught her,petting Skye's neck softly.

I took this moment to pray silently to myself. 

_"thank you Harper"_

 

_To be Continued..._

 

 

**_Eithne's Birthday Cake_ **

**__ **

 

_Credit/source-_

Lyrics for song- **Runaway Train By Soul Asylum**

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/soulasylum/runawaytrain.html

_Photo credit/source- https://i.pinimg.com/736x/78/af/f0/78aff02a49792183a2a9533a5ff24618--simple-birthday-cakes-rd-birthday-cakes.jpg_


	29. Ghosts of Times Past

It was great to be back home,never thought I'd ever say that again after the shit that went down here over six months ago,and to look at the place you wouldn't of known a psychopath had ransacked it.

what I heard,Ken,Kate and a few people from the surrounding farms,even Rory took a few days off to come in and they all cleaned the Cottage up and in some areas it had been remodeled, it looked so brand new,once again Ken made Eithne's nursery his pet project since it had been the focus of the burglary/trespass.

her crib had been damaged by Tom's father, who I later learned defaced the walls with nonsense scrawling's carved with a blunt instrument, perhaps a knife,holes punches in them as well,and the Forensics team also discovered that Tom Sr. decided had added to his disturbing task.. _pig shit_ ,from Ken's Pig pens and grounded it into the carpet.

calling _this man_ a sick fuck..would be too nice.

It seems Ken wanted to erase _all_ evidence of his brothers presence in that room,he remodeled the entire room and even built Eithne a new bed himself,it wasn't what we expected, he had made her a little wooden house bed,complete with a front doorway where she entered the bed and a little window.

Eithne was over the moon when she first saw it,getting so excited in her fathers arms,her feet kicking wildly they caught Tom in one kidney and nearly clipped him in an area that should we want her to have siblings,it was almost _game over._

currently I was on my way out of the kitchen when I spied Tom sitting on the couch engrossed with something on the T.V while polishing off the last of a pint of ice cream from the carton,seated beside him anticipating his every bite with _great interest._..Eithne.

Tom was oblivious to this,and it was comical as hell,every time he'd scoop up some ice cream Eithne would get excited,as Tom was lifting up the spoon,she'd lean in her mouth open wide ready for her bite thinking, _oh boy daddy's going to share,_ only to be disappointed as he would put the spoon into _his mouth_ ,this went on several times until...

_"DAH!"_

Tom looked down at his disgruntled charge,who was pointing up with one of her tiny digits,then he at his spoon filled with the creamy treat,it had dawned on him.

"you want a bite Roo?" Tom's silly pet name for her.

_"um ya"_

and without further hesitation Tom gave her the bite,Eithne bounced on her little legs humming as she savored her small indulgence.

"ehehehehe,you like that,huh"

"its sugar and its cold..you're soothing two things,her sugar fix and her gums..shes teething,Tom"

looking over at me he gave me a scolding look,even wagging the spoon at me.. _really?_

"don't be a wet blanket Lily,I realize this..but its sweet the way she goes about wanting things"

"yeah it is..I love how she bosses _you_ around,Eithne has you wrapped around her little finger where as _I"_ pointing to myself, _"have you by the balls"_ giggling now I walked by him towards the bedroom,which earned me a firm smack across the ass as I passed him by _"ow!_..hey..you need to get her ready we're suppose to be going into town ya know"

_"that was shit Lily!"_

_"shit!..ehehe"_

stopping dead I turned around, Eithne was now standing on the couch hanging onto the back of it,bouncing of course, smiling ear to ear seemingly proud of her profane accomplishment..and did she just follow it up with her dads laugh? _  
_

_"Roo..no_ ,that's a potty word,.. _say poo_ instead" Tom gently scolded.

yeah right.

Eithne looked at him in a confused manner.

 _"well Dah_..if you can say it,why can't she?" I challenged,"and shes probably thinking poo sounds ridiculous"

I could tell Tom was about to blast me and I thanked the maker for the rapping on the front door for saving me from his bullshit monologue I'm sure he was about to unleash.

 _"come in"_ Tom announced not looking away from me,I stuck out my tongue.

"aye,an a good mornin' ta ya all" Ken announced as he walked in.

Eithne squealed as she attempted to descend the couch,she loved her Uncle Ken,Tom put her on the floor where she quickly made her way over to Ken who was crouch,arms open.

 

"Lily,did he know we were coming in today?"

Tom looked over his shoulder at me,wincing while trying to contain our squirming daughter who had one hand waving in the air wildly, the other..gripping firmly onto his chin whiskers. _.poor bastard._

 "no,course not,I wanted to surprise Rory,he'll get a kick out of it" I tried delicately to pry Eithne's fingers out of Tom's beard,

 _after all I was rather fond of those ginger hairs myself,can't have any bald patches,_ then again..Tom could use a trim he was beginning to look like a Goat again.

_"ow!..damn Lily"_

"oh stop,or I'll let her wreak havoc on that beard of yours you giant baby"

after the fussing was over we made our way over towards the bar where fortunately Rory was,back to us wiping the back counter down.

 _"cover Eithne's ears Lily"_ Tom whispered, I didn't question it,and did so,leaning on the bar with his arms,Tom announced himself.. _so eloquently_ "the fuck does a bloke have to do to get a drink of the piss you call whiskey around here?"

gradually straightening his posture,Rory angled his head.

"depends,are ya naked Hiddleston?,cause ifn' ya are,ya can just take that skinny white arse outta here an go find ya 'nother place ta brandish ya wares _front and back_ , ya gangly shit"

_"shit!"_

oh God. _.Eithne..no!_

spinning around on one foot,Rory's face was one of astonishment,wide eyed,mouth gaping slightly,I think we all were doing that,except Eithne who was doing a perfect delivery of her fathers laugh.

_"ehehehehehe"_

_"buggar me_..did that come that wee ones mouth?"

"fraid so" I sighed "but just so you know Rory.. _she already_ hadaccomplished that word" I looked over at Tom who rolled his eyes.

 _"oh for..fu.._ " he growled frustrated,"Lily!"

Rory snickered,shaking his head.

"aye it is good ta have ya all back, let me see this lass"

he out stretched his muscular arms towards Eithne who gladly accepted the gesture much to her fathers dismay as she took two steps across the bar right into Rory's hands as he swept her up with a happy squeal.

"take it easy you git, _shes..little"_ Tom murmured a bit sullen, _more like butt hurt._

Eithne was fascinated with the stout Scotsman holding her, patting gently at his beardless face, _oohing_ and bouncing with delight of her new discovery, the smoothness of his skin,.. _.not like daddy's face._

"is a wee thing fer sure, got yerself a beauty here Tom,affable too" he made some silly faces,which had Eithne chuckling an clapping her hands, _"I'm sure yer Da can out do me huh sweet pea?"  
_

"shut it Rory" Tom warned, "and you look like a tosser by the way,I wouldn't be making those faces in public too much"

"be nice Tom"

"what?" looking over at me.

he was pouting,I wouldn't call it jealousy exactly,but... he was experiencing something he wasn't anticipating when he watched his daughter interacted with another man who was. _.fatherly_ , I think he felt a bit betrayed as silly as it may of sounded.

It was after some time Tom settled a bit,I gave him reassurances that he hadn't been displaced, _he was Eithne's daddy_ and no one would ever take his standing with her,giving him examples like myself..my father maybe gone _,but he'll always be_ _my daddy_.

this seem to comfort him enough to allow Rory to go about his business behind the bar fixing drinks for customers...with Eithne's small form draped over one of his sturdy shoulders fast asleep without incident,and the patrons got a kick out of seeing it.

he did stop at one point looking at his wristwatch,then out the front windows of the Pub,there was concern on his face where there had been mirth only moments earlier.

"what is it Rory?" I looked where he had then back at him.

"um..well,I jus' noticin' the time" he looked uncomfortable,"an..I needs ta warn ya..since ya all has been gone,she has been comin' in here at this time every day fer lunch"

"who?" Tom asked as Rory was carefully sliding Eithne off his shoulder and handing her over to him.

"Clair..and her son"

not even realizing it at the time I pulled Eithne from Toms arms,holding her to me protectively,the two men looked at each other then to me, watching with worried expressions.

 _"you want to leave Lily?...we can"_ Tom caressed my cheek with his thumb,"I know it still bothers you kitten,just to hear her name"

I didn't look at him.

"shes not going to run me out of every business around here just because she resides in the same town I live in.." now I did make eye contact,"fuck that bitch if she thinks I'm going to run like a frightened cat every time she shows up where I happen to be"

"I take that as a _..no"_ Rory sat a glass of Whiskey in front of me with a wink,"not that ya need it, ya got the bollocks of a Angus Bull Lily,but beings ya haven't had any since ya arrived"

 _"nice"_ Tom said annoyed, _"and you waited.._ to give Lily hard liquor now,so when the county whore who should be in prison for crimes against her shows up here..the chances that my woman may shove Clair's head up her own ass..could become a reality" 

"aye...Clair has it comin' ta her,after the shite she put ya through,but..I be thinkin' if anythin'.. Lily may have a colorful exchange of words,nothin' more"

"you're more confident when it comes to Lily's temper than I am" Tom pointed to himself,"just because shes small..it doesn't mean shit,Rory"

while the two were having their discussion I cradled Eithne close tightly to me and wandered away finding a booth to sit in so I could gather my thoughts.. _.did I want to be here when that slag showed up?,how was I going to deal with it when she did? would Tom lose his shit?...Goddamn it why now?_

having been too involved in the thoughts that were flooding my brain I had tuned the rest of the of world around me out.. _big fucking mistake,_ I needed to be _more alert_ these days.

"she favors her father"

I knew that voice...it had may of been awhile since I heard it,but..the person behind it was one I would never forget,slowly craning my head around and upward my glare couldn't of been more baleful,even my eyes had become slits.

 _"Clair"_ I growled,clutching my daughter even closer to me.

it was a staring match between the two of us,but it was my look that was more menacing of the two,I took the this opportunity and observed the child she in fact had with her,a boy as Tom an I were told,he was sweet looking child,and to my relief _nothing like_ Tom.

short dark wavy hair,brown eyes,pleasant smile even towards a stranger who didn't appear to be pleasant herself..namely me,Eithne stirred a bit in my arms,looking down,she raised her head,rubbing at an eye.

_"mum"_

lightly brushing back her curls,but keeping Clair in my peripheral,the waking toddler gave me a half sleepy smile,when I looked back up I my whole body gave a startle,looming behind Clair in an ominous way..Tom,his eyes darkened,jaw set,glaring down at her dangerously,she didn't even have a clue,the whole thing was almost...sinister.

 _"what._.do you want?" he said between gritted teeth.

she jumped,slowly making a half turn,that's when if anything I was taking pity on her child,I shook my head,discreetly pointing at her son,I didn't want Tom scaring him,he was an innocent here,just like Eithne,no need for a scene.

that's when I noticed a change,Tom's eyes went to the boy, flickering...I saw what he was doing,examining the child, I knew in the back of his mind even with the tests he took,it always danced in the back of Tom's mind. _.could it be?_. _.even tests can be wrong you know._

his body seem to relax, _he saw what I had earlier_...nothing of him,the only child in the room that was,was the one I held, Clair was _unusually_ quiet,the norm for this woman was bombastic,and lewd.

"I..I was just saying hello" stammering she shifted nervously.

"hello?" he snorted,"do us a favor Clair.. _.stay away_ ,and tell that sack of shit Eli next time you visit him in prison...its his good fortune hes there. _.an not here"_ Tom growled.

closing my eyes I just pleaded internally _,please just let this be the extent of his anger,there's children present_ ,yes Clair's a devious little whorish bitch who along with another woman made a hellish life changing event put upon me possible,but right now _I just wanted to leave._

 

Rory's timing couldn't have been any better _,though I knew it was purposeful_ ,when he walked up with a bag of food to go that we hadn't ordered and proceeded to state this in such a way to break the tension filled gathering. _  
_

and before I could acknowledge it,Lily had taken Eithne and was gone.. _fuck_ ,giving Clair one last burning look of warning I took the food,thanking Rory making my exit,so much for a fun family day out,if it wasn't on damn thing it was another.

Lily was quiet on our way home,I could only imagine what was going through her mind,Clair was a part of my reckless past and a catalyst to Lily's assault, something I'm sure even now she deals with from time to time,but I wouldn't have it in her face so to speak. When we got home I asked Ken for a favor after giving him a brief run down about what went on in town,he took Eithne to Kate's for awhile.

 in a sense...all of this..it was my fault,so I needed to do what was necessary,and I can't go running to Lennox every time something like this comes up, _no running_ of any type,it was time _I... take care of my Lily._

 

_To be continued..._

 

_Eithne's wooden House bed (made by Ken)              Clair's Son_

        

_Photo credit/source- https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/88/ca/e8/88cae85a91f93dedda3fbd514498127f.jpg_

_https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/36/c3/4b/36c34bfcee30fed5ccc63be427a4f92f.jpg?noindex=1_


	30. Ghosts of Times Past

Wasn't so sure how I got here,but one idea did stick out more than others,Tom...lifting my head from the pillow as I couldn't do much else with the rest of my body lying on my stomach with all the feeling in my legs gone,sighing knowing it was from the dead weight of Tom's legs draped over mine.

glancing over only to see head of ginger curls,pulling an arm from under the pillow I reached over and delicately toyed with a single errant curl with a fingertip,shifting ever slightly,his legs moved from their awkward position,relieving the vice like grip their entanglement had on mine.

Tom murmured something incoherent in his sleep tossing his head side to side on his pillow before settling back into his slumber which reminded me of Eithne whenever I watched her sleeping.

_oh my god..Eithne!_

scrambling quickly to an up right position I nearly dumped Tom out of the bed as he rolled from me when I jerked my legs away from his,there was startled gasping combined with some swearing before he gathered himself. _  
_

_"the fuck Lily?"_

_"Eithne?"_

 heaving what I knew was a irritated sigh,I watched as he smooth a hand down his hair.

"shes with Kate"

"what..why?"

reaching over to the nightstand he flicked on the lamp.

"because...you need to be,well..you needed some down time,and I wanted to make sure you had it,whatever you need Lily _,I'm here"_

turning toward him fully I wasn't understanding,tilting my head.

"down time?"

"stay here" he scratched at his goatee,then took hold of my hand kissing my pulsepoint, "I'll be right back"

swinging his long legs off the bed he stood..good grief did the man ever sleep in any clothes? _,and other parts were too._.sort of,that's when I took the opportunity to grab his underwear that laid on the foot of the bed giving it a toss.

therefore landing precariously on the tip of his dick,looking down Tom craned his head sideways at me, quirking a brow.

"what did I tell you last time you did that Lily?. _.its not_ a towel rack"

"yeah..but _that's not_ a towel either" I smirked,attempting to quirk a brow of my own.

taking the garment off he threw it at me,catching it with one hand before it hit me in the face.

"I don't want that damn thing in my face!"

as Tom proceeded to exit the room,he made a quip..chicken shit move if you ask me.

_"that's not what you said two nights ago darling"_

my jaw slackened,what a bastard.

 _"but it wasn't your crappy underwear you nasty shit of a man!"_ I yelled after him

a trail of _ehehehe's_ echoed down the hallway,but his giggles were short-lived when I heard a bang and..

_"ow!..fucking hell!"_

Tom had collided with a piece of furniture,my guess..jackass forgot to turn on a light on his way through the livingroom.

pushing my pillow in my face laughing into it I couldn't help myself,git had it coming..karma baby..karma.

Returning a tray in his hands with what I knew to be tea,Tom was limping slightly,he set the tray next to me and wordlessly made his way to the dresser and pulled out some sweats,putting them on.

"you stubbed your toe"

limping over he took a seat next to me an looked down then handed me a cup.

"yeah" he shrugged,"no biggie"

"didn't sound like it" taking a sip.

"that's because it bloody well doesn't feel good to have your toe jam up into a table"

"let me see it"

frowning at me as he drank from his cup.

"why?..I only stubbed it"

"don't be a difficult child,just..let me" I gestured with my hand for him to bring his foot up.

annoyed he rolled his eyes swinging his leg up,resting his foot on my lap...damn,he really did a job on his toe.

 _"ooh,_ I'll put some ice on it,already swollen" I winced as I inspected it carefully.

"Lily..no,no ice..I can deal with it" putting his foot back down.

"gawd you can be such a child Tom,I only want to help"

setting his cup down he pluckily kissed my temple,smiling at me.

"and I love you for that Lily,always helping everyone,never asking for anything in return,but as I was saying earlier...you need down time,to..rest,yesterday was shit _,it hurt.._.I know it did you can't tell me otherwise,its my turn to take care of you when you need it"

"what?"

was this really about what happened at the Pub yesterday?,taking my cup setting on the tray,pushing it aside,Tom took both my hands in his.

"darling,its my turn to do whats right for you,I've been trying to...not be so selfish,be the man I'm suppose to be, I guess is how Lennox once put it,you an Eithne have _changed something_ in me..a good thing,so please let me do this"

so..this is what was going on, _he just wanted to simply care for me..._

"I see..so,what's the plan?"

Tom stared at me,blinking..don't think he anticipated my reaction,I guess he was too use to my stubborn streak rearing its ugly head and was expecting me to dig my heels in,normally I would,but this was a side of Tom _I..._ hadn't anticipated.

 

Lily uncharacteristically gave herself over,and let me treat her to whatever indulgence I had planned for her,from cooking her breakfast,then going about domestic duties of the house as she watched me while she ate,I guess she found humor in observing me while I vacuumed the living area,how did I know this?,by the crooked grin on her face,mid-chew of her scrambled eggs which were pocketed in one of her cheeks _,she looked like chipmunk._

shaking my head I just continued at my task until I had finished.

"I miss Eithne"

poking my head from the kitchen doorway,my heart dropped,Lily sat on the couch,legs crossed,picking at her fingernails looking depressed... _shit,complete opposite of what I was trying to achieve here._

"darling _,shes fine._..and our wee bun needed as much of a break from us as we did from her,its not a bad thing...it'll help prepare her as she gets older and ready for School"

glancing up over to me,her contrite look compounded my own hurt,I knew Eithne was in very good hands,but right now,her Mum needed some..quiet.

"I'm not worried about her Tom,its just...I'm use to having her around,babbling in her tongue that only she understands _,that is_ when she isn't cussing" Lily raised a brow,sighing I knew that..was directed at me.

"would it help if  Mummy were able to talk to her baby?I could call Kate and have her put Eithne on the phone"

looking thoughtful she shook her head.

"no..the minute I hear her I know I'll just start crying like a idiot,freaking out Eithne if anything"

"well then if you like,I could grab something from the linen closet,and make into a nappy,I could be your surrogate"

jerking her head up at me,wide eyed.

"oh my god!..that's..disturbing Tom!"

 _"ehehehehehe!_..I hear there are guys who pay good money to act out such a fantasy"

"ew!..I don't even want to know _how_ you know that!.. _fucking gross!"_

I quickly dodged a throw pillow.

"Google...and,you shouldn't kink shame" wagging a finger at her as I teased,"it's not an acceptable thing to do..poor manners"

now standing,pointing to herself..damn,I hadn't meant to get her this riled up.

 _"you're preaching to me about manners?_..." she snorted, "that's like a Politician delivering an address to people about the importance of honesty...its absurd"

 _that's it._..it only took two steps forward, I had her up ended and over my shoulder,squealing...mock me will she,giving her ass a firm smack,a yipe that could of woke the livestock.. _Jesus woman where you been hiding that!?_

"give me shit about my civilities!,I thought it was one of the things you liked about me,the lack of them that is"

_"ack!..put me down you giant git!"_

_"but its so much fun packing your little ass around Lily bug!"_ I was running around the room now,spinning in circles at times.

"ah buggar me, what ya doin' boy!?,put the lass down ya bleedin' fool,she goin' ta vom all over the room" 

stopping,I looked over my shoulder frowning,old fart always seem to show up at the most inopportune times.

"Ken,you have the crappiest timing,and whatever happened to knocking?,for all you know we could of been shagging"

"eh...I woulda known" he was frowning now as he looked up at me,"ya a noisy lot,the both of ya" it was subtle,but I felt Lily's body tremble..she was giggling,Ken noticed,raising a brow "an ya might want ta put her down now,not like I want ta stand here an look at her arse"

setting her down,Lily composed herself,pulling her hair back into a ponytail,smiling weakly at Ken.

"well...you here for a reason,or do you just enjoy walking in unannounced when I'm playing about with my woman just to give me shit?"

"shut ya gob boy,yes I have me reasons..." looking at Lily now, "ya have a change a clothes fer the wee lass,seems Da here fer got ta pack enough" glancing back at me as if to scold, "taint like the tot don't go through'em..she be in ta everythin'.. a curious sort she is"

"oh no" Lily covered her mouth.

"aw love,no worries..its nothin' bad,she be lovin' the chickens,Katie let her in the coop when she got the eggs this mornin',wee thing was chasin' the damn hens laughin' her bum off" he snickered,"until she fell in some of the shite..didn't know those birds did so much of that" Ken wrinkled his nose,"anyways,Eithne held up her hand covered in the mess an said. _.shit kay!..shit"_

_here we go...the stink eye from my woman,cause our daughter has found a favorite word.. and it wasn't a nice one._

"I give up..shes going to say that word no matter what,all we can do is tell her its a potty word" Lily shook her head.

"eh..Katie told her it was poo,the lass seem ta like it..yells _poo poo_ now"

 

Ken was kind enough to bring Skye over from Kate's,I thought it might be nice if Lily an I went out for a ride,and this would be her first time riding Harper's offspring,her gift so to speak,I just hope this wouldn't be too emotional for Lily.

as it turned out..it wasn't,Lily looked beautiful sitting up on the mare,smiling waiting for me as I tightened the girth of the saddle on Braun, which for me was odd,I normally rode bareback.. _cause normally I was butt naked.  
_

"where would you like to go?"

as soon as I had mounted the large horse I looked over my shoulder,shrugging.

"anywhere,you have an idea Lily?"

"no..I was just going to follow you"

Old habits are hard to break I guess,cause we headed towards my old running grounds, Lily hadn't said anything nor did she show any discomfort in the direction we were going in,so we proceeded.

once on the trail I found it too quiet, _she was too quiet_ ,so it was time to change that up.

"Lily,remember when you first rode down here and found me in a less than.. _.refined_ condition"

turning her head toward me,looking up through her lashes in a scolding manner.

"Tom...of all things to bring up"

"it was what..three days,you came to the Forest and watched me in secret until I called you out"

 _"great_ ,you're not going to drop this..okay,yeah,I remember...so?"

so?...now she was deliberately being a little shit.

"really darling,so blasé about something that I know was rather spectacular in my memory" pulling Braun to a halt,she did the same with Skye, _"I took you_ on every surface this forest had to offer Lily" leaning off my saddle, _"and you loved it"_

 _Could not believe_ he was bringing up this of all things,our past..sexcapades in the Scottish forests..perv,fine..I'll go along with it.

"why sir,it isn't proper to bring up such things.." putting a hand to my chest,"and to the lady involved no less"

 _"ppfftt,..lady?_..you behaved like a wanton mess _Lilianna Loban,_ and it was the most loveliest I've ever seen"

_"Tom!"_

_"ehehehehe.._.don't act the virgin Lily,like I said..you were _anything_ but" he looked at me almost serious-like,"yet you can be mannerly,maternal and everything opposite that I saw and experienced that day..here" he made a wave to the forest,"its among those reasons I love you and want you as my wife,you are..." he leaned in closer to me, _"what I've always needed"_

he always seem to follow up his wickedness with something positive,it's the way Tom was..I've learned to accept it and he knew it,that's why we worked so well together even when we did lock horns.

but something caught my attention,hindering my thoughts. _.a sudden smell_ ,sniffing at the air,I looked to Tom curiously who was already on it,he was practically standing in his stirrups sniffing at the air as well.

"Tom?"

"smoke..its smoke Lily...somethings on fire"

We rode down the trail that lead to the lake when Tom pulled Braun to an instant halt...I saw it too...a huge plume of black smoke in the distance.

"Tom..is that?"

 "yes...its that. _.house,its on fire"_

 

_To be Continued..._


	31. Ghosts of Times Past

"Tom _..no"_ reaching over grabbing his wrist,I knew what he was thinking.

_"hes there"_ his eyes remained on the billowing smoke ahead that was getting bigger.

"you don't know that"

"Lily" he slowly looked over to me,"I know the man,he set the fire.. _.so he is there_..watching as it burns..getting off on it,possibly fantasizing that Mum,my sisters and I are in it,hes one sick fuck Lily there's no degree of his madness in my mind,  _my father..._ is a fucking nutter"

"I'm not arguing that,just _you_ getting a wild hair up your ass and going to that fire"

making a half turn in his saddle,the unease that was etched on his face made my stomach clench,this was _protective Tom_ ,enraged and ready to draw blood.

"Lily.. _.this"_ he pointed to the smoke,"tells me one thing,in my father's deranged mind he's on a losing end,he hasn't managed to get to me..or you and Eithne,his plans went to shit.. _.he's more_ of a loose cannon now than he was when I was a boy"

"then we really need to leave Tom.. _now,_ and call the authorities,if anything to prevent the whole forest from going up in flames" staring at me for a moment as if considering my words, _"please"_ I begged,squeezing his wrist now.

 

The police had been informed,and they in turn informed those who needed to deal with the fire, they along with some Detectives from Scotland Yard were already on their way to the scene by the time Ken had met us at the station and we had filled him in.

"ya sure its the house?" Ken rubbed at his jaw.

"Ken..what other structure in the same area of that hell hole would cause such a big fire as what we saw?" throwing up my arms,"as it was _I had_ to convince Tom not to go there...he was dead set on it,said his dad was there,he started the damn thing out of some psychotic rage"

"so it seems me brother is makin' his presence known again..feckin' hell" mopping his face with both hands,"an where be Tom,in the stations loo?"

"no he's right..." turning to point over by the counter where he and the Constable had been talking..but no one was there,then I realized _"shit!"_

"what is it lass?"

"Tom's not here Ken" I growled, _"sonofbitch!_..he went after him,reckless shit of a man! " turning back to Ken,"I know he did _..shit shit shit"_

 

Only hoping in the end,I could be forgiven,but what I couldn't do for my Mum and sisters I would do now for my future wife and my child,assure their safety from the monster I called my father, it was me he was after he already tried in different ways to go through my new family...setting the old family house on fire was only his way of letting me know. _.it was just him and I now.  
_

but it wasn't the burning remains of my childhood home I was heading to,by now the barmy bastard would of been long gone from there knowing it had drew unwanted attention by now,namely the law.

there was only one other place I knew of,a place even Ken was ignorant of,and I only was aware of it because as a boy I had followed my father once when he had been in one of his many drunken stupors,it was a cottage of sorts,made of rock,with two chimney's an a thatched roof,a bit primitive but what he did there was nothing short of that,its where he brought his tarts from town.

cautiously directing Braun around the bend, the cottage was coming into view..ah _,smoke_ coming out of one of the chimney's, _predictable bag of shit you are father_ ,hunkering down on my saddle as I pulled the stout horse to a halt, I watched for activity outside,but saw none.

tying Braun up behind an alcove of rocks I discovered not far from the dwelling I made the rest of my way by foot praying that bastard wasn't being vigilant and I'd get the upper hand,question was,if I did...what was I going to do once I confronted this monster after all this time?

Once close enough to the cottage I pressed myself up against the far end of it with my back,and again listening for activity,but from within,and I did,furrowing my brows as I slid around the corner slowly,the sounds I heard were...familiar, _very_ familiar as I strained an ear it became quite clear as to _just how._

_Eithne!_

_oh god he has my daughter!,_ but how?..she was with Kate...my body flushed with a sudden coldness, _oh god no!..no, Kate!  
_

 

"What the fu.." I nearly stood in the car as we pulled up in Kate's drive, "there's cars everywhere Ken,an _..ambulance!"_

putting an arm across my chest,I looked at it then him,who was staring out the front windshield.

"ya stay here I no like the looks of this lass"

_"bullshit Ken,that's my cousin in there,and my child too!"_

 oh my god,Eithne...

throwing the door open,I bolted,with only Ken's voice shouting after me.

_"dammit lass!._.they be only stoppin' ya,jus' wait!"

My lungs were screaming by the time I neared the house only to be stopped abruptly by an officer,I recognized him,putting his hands up in front of him.

"aye Miss Lily, no...I can't be lettin' ya in there"

"what!?,but my daughter,my cousin. _.whats going on goddamn it?"_

"Miss,no ones aloud inside,Constables orders"

coming up on us huffing an puffing,Ken.

"I knew it,but what is this rubbish?,what about Kate an the wee bun?,can't ya tell us anythin'?"

the Officer looked a bit sheepish,I didn't like it,he was hiding something.

"well fer one thing,we knew nothin' about a baby,jus Mrs Loban,her neighbor came over..an well" he looked away in an uncomfortable manner,"she called us"

_"called you?..why?..what's wrong,what aren't you telling us!?"_ I demanded,Kens hands firmly grasped each of my shoulders,pulling me back as I was leaning in on the officer.

"easy love"

there was a commotion from the house,we all three looked,it was police and Paramedics coming out of the front of it..with a stretcher,on it..Kate,covered in a blanket,with an I.V drip, and an oxygen mask.

"NO!"

those surrounding her looked over,as Ken now held me in a bear hug from behind, my body surging in his arms,trying my best to move forward,tears hot and heavy pouring down my face.

"darlin',no..ya no good ta her,let'em do their job" he glared over at the young officer,"ya best be talkin' now son,can't say I be strong enough ta holdin' her fer long,especially now we be talkin' about that wee bun I no seein'"

it was the Chief Constable that came jogging over,I didn't like the look on his face,the worry was written clear.

_"Ken..Lily"_   his breathing labored,"I'm sorry, but..it seems Katie was..was assaulted,quite roughly,their takin' her to the hospital"

"assaulted!?.. _wheres Eithne!?"_ I was getting hysterical.

"Eithne?" the Chief looked puzzled,"I didn't see her,I did see baby clothes and such in the house,was she with Kate?"

looking away,chewing on a nail,a plethora of thoughts raced through my head.

"gawd first Tom,now Eithne" I was close to sobbing.

"wait,what?..what do you mean _now Tom?"_ the Chief stepped in my view.

"as you know he was at the police station with me to report the fire,but when Ken arrived" I sighed,"gone..I think he went after his father"

"shit!" the chief snapped,kicking at the ground _"that's all we be needin',_ that gangly sod goin' off in a tirade ta brawl with that nutter of a Dah of his _,or worse"_

Ken confidently stepped forward,though he looked as if had aged ten years in these last few moments. 

"Chief..me guess is,ya boys should be lookin' fer that _gangly sod_ on a mix breed draft horse,ifn' he ain't at what remains of that shite of a house in the forest" Ken shrugged heaving a sigh "sadly I no not where he be,an personally..that scares this old git" pointing to himself.

"thanks Ken,I'll pass it along" the Chief put a hand of comfort on Kens shoulder,he then looked to me,"and we'll put a bulletin out fer Eithne,Lily..please don't be worryin' yerself too much,we will find them both"

 

Before Kate was taken to the Hospital she was in stable condition,I was torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to help find my daughter and Tom,however it was Ken who who made the decision for me,he would go be with Kate, and the crafty bastard made sure I would stay put.. _.he called Lennox_ and informed him of all that had transpired,and now I was stuck with being babysitted by my employer.. _yay.  
_

"you're going to wear a hole in my oak flooring darling,I just had it resurfaced"

looking down at the floor from my incessent pacing,then back up,the warm smile that Lennox wore before taking a sip of his tea was almost as annoying as the fact that people found it was necessary that _he_ had to chaperone my ass.

"take it out of my paycheck" and I continued to pace.

"Lily..I know you are frustrated,but running off after them isn't safe,even Tom would agree,he would not want you to either"

stopping mid-step,I jerked my head around.

_"oh really?_ ,and did that asshole give any thought as to what I'd be going through?" placing a hand to my chest, "and now Kate's laid up in the Hospital ICU all beat to shit, our child is missing _,all because of that crazy sonofabitch!"_ thrusting a finger towards the mountains where I knew Tom and his father more than likely were.

setting his cup down,Lennox rised to is feet,calmly making his way over to me,placing a hand on each of my shoulders steering me over to a couch,making me sit,looking me directly in the eyes.

"Lily..you are the Mum of a missing child,a woman who loves a man with a shit of a past that is currently tormenting you and have a relative who lays infirmed in a hospital because of all of it,but I'm telling you this now...you are the closet thing to a daughter that I have Lily,and Tom would want me to watch over you like one in his absence, _so please._.do not do anything reckless and sneak off to go after him and Eithne"

"but..he doesn't know about Eithne" I implored.

"and if shes with Toms father..he will soon enough"

the blood drained from my face.

"Tom will kill him"

"sadly...that's a possibility" Lennox nodded.

 

The door didn't have a chance as I shoved it open,it now hung by one hinge,standing in the doorway,I glared hotly with my fist balled up at my sides,my father however remained seated holding Eithne,bouncing an cooing to her as if my loud and abrupt entrance was of no interest,but Eithne..

"Dah!" reaching out making a grabby hand towards me with a big smile.

_"hey button"_ I smiled back if only to reassure her.

"got yourself quite the lass here son,a real beauty" he never looked at me,just kept making silly faces at Eithne,"like her Mum,done well you have"

"better than you" I said flatly.

_"ooh,I don't think I did so bad"_ he looked out of the corner of his eye at me, "you turned out ta be quite the robust man,Thomas..agreeable looking lad,and from what I've heard over the years" he chuckled, "a taste for the women in a way that,well..ya can't say ya didn't get it from me boy cause.. _ya did"_ he finally looked at me,in a side long glance.

swallowing hard _,what I really wanted to do was to grab that fire poker behind him and have a good swing at his head._

"the only thing I got from you was years of therapy and nightmares _I still cannot_ rid myself of _old man,_ do not sit there and wax lyrical about shit that is an invention of your deranged mind" _  
_

"now Thomas,that was unkind" he was now bouncing Eithne on a knee,"after what I've done for you"

done for me...

"the fuck are you talking about?"

"I gave you life _boy"_ his voice raised,wagging a finger up at me.

daring myself, I took two steps into the cottage,growling.

_"and murdered my Mum and sisters"_

nodding slowly,he pursed his lips.

"that I did,a fine job of it too...no less than they deserved,ya _Mum was despicable_ as women go an a slag, an yer sisters,I knew they'd grow up ta be the same.. _its in the blood ya know,"_

_those were the last words I remembered coming from his mouth..._

 

_To be Continued..._


	32. Ghosts of Times Past

I don't know if it was good thing or bad,but I managed to talk Lennox into letting us at least going back to mine and Tom's place,being there made me feel that there was a sense of hope that Tom would return in one piece, _to be honest I was just praying he would return...so I could kick his ass for leaving in the first place.  
_

the only thing though...it was the pang in my chest I would get whenever I headed to my bedroom or bathroom,it was on my way to Eithne's nursery, _her empty.._ nursery,sounds of annoying songs from a toy she'd be playing with,or endless babbling from her as she carried on a conversation with a stuffed animal,none of this drifted from there and it was about to do me in. _  
_

that lunatic better not harm my child or Tom would be the least of his problems,. _.I'll kill him myself._

"Lily"

turning around from my painful musings,Lennox stood holding his cell.

"talked to Ken,..Kate has woken from her anesthesia,shes a bit groggy,sore to be sure,other than that,shes expected to recover"

"anesthesia?" 

why would they give her that?

"yes,darling she had some internal bleeding from the attack,they had to go in and stop it"

closing my eyes tightly,I hadn't realized _just how_ badly that bastard hurt her _,dickless chicken shit_ beats on a woman until shes unconscious..all cause he was trying to get at Eithne, and the sad thing was,there had been a time when he had murdered half his family on whim, for reasons still unknown,for kicks?,was bored?. _  
_

_"Jesus"_ I murmured threading my fingers through my hair,"just how bad is she Lennox?,what are you an Ken keeping from me?"

slipping the phone in the pocket of his coat that was lying across a chair,the look he gave me was grave,he began speaking quietly.

"shes in bad shape Lily,a broken leg,an arm,collar bone,numerous bumps,bruises, the internal bleeding which was remedied,..shes going to need a lot of physical therapy.. _among other kinds of therapy I'm sure"_

as he rattled off the list of her injuries,it brought back the memories of when I had been attacked,though mine had also been sexual in nature,my body had taken a beating too, I knew what lay ahead for Kate. _  
_

"god- _damn._.."I sighed,"is there no end to this mans madness?,why is he so brutal towards women?,I mean yeah he was abusive with Tom..but in the end it was his mom and sisters that paid the ultimate price _,and now Kate_...shes fortunate to even be alive..why Lennox?"

"Lily..he is a man with a diseased mind,and there isn't just one behavior,it manifests itself in various ways,we may never know why Tom's father is the way he is,why he has done what he has" he shrugged sadly.

 _"and Tom may never get his answers"_ I murmured.

"he may not..other than his father is just..sick"

done with the topic I was ready to switch it up.

"all of this is making me feel shittier,I'm going to go feed Ken's Cows in the Barn,he asked me if I would while he was gone,they're ready to calve,some may have and I need to check on them anyways"

giving me a knowing smile,he nodded.

"you go do that darling,some fresh air is good,I'll put some coffee on,should be ready by the time you are done"

 _"fresh air?"_  snorting as I put a coat on" its cold as hell,and the Barn smells of Cow shit,I hardly considered it..fresh"

"yeah,I'm sure it does,I stand corrected" he chuckled.

"Eithne.. _for some odd reason_ ,she likes taking the dried cow poo and throw them..at Ken" I couldn't help but snicker,"that was after we convinced her that _they weren't_ a pastry" looking up at Lennox,"Tom caught her just before she took a bite of one,guess she figured _if I can't eat them,I'll chuck them at uncle Ken's ass..literally"_

Lennox's eyes widened before he belted out a series of chortles,even held his belly as he did.

"oh, _she is_ her fathers daughter,..cheeky little monkey,finding ways to get in trouble already"

"hmm yeah,when shes not trying to eat shit.. _,shes saying it"_ I frowned,but internally staving off the urge to cry, I would give anything right now just to hear Eithne belt out that particular obscenity, _at least I would know she was here,safe._ "well I better get on with it..before I get a call from Ken asking about his damn cows"

 

Having fed most of the Heifers,though I was sure there were a few that were going to calve in the next twenty four hours,they showed the signs,isolating themselves in the corner of their stalls,restless,and their udders were quite full.

making a mental note of these particular Heifers so I could tell Ken if/when he calls,Putting the pail up on the hook on my way out of the Barn, as I exited a sizable unrest from the cattle in the pasture to my left was enough to get my attention.

promptly I made my way out to the center of the yard to see what was going on to make them so skittish,stopping,shielding my eyes,they widened, off in the distance I could barely make out something coming towards me it looked like a...horse.

as it neared I realized _it was_ a horse and I knew this animal, _Braun_  and upon him.. _Tom!_

 _"Lennox..LENNOX!"_ it was only a matter of a few moments and he was coming up on me from behind,never turning around I thrusted a finger forward _,"look!"_

Braun's gait picked up pace and was coming at us at a slow, gentle canter, my legs finding their stamina and I was rushing to the pasture gate ready to open it,tears burning behind my eyes now.

throwing the gate open,the large draft horse lazily walked through,stopping right where I stood,as I looked up I was not prepared for what I saw,a bedraggled Tom,no shirt or shoes,and there was..blood,my heart sank _,please tell me that wasn't his fathers,that he hadn't killed him._

my eyes fell to what in one arm Tom held to him in a large bundled grey blue plaid wool blanket,squinting as I studied it,as if he knew Tom relaxed his hold revealing tufts of dark red curls poking out the top. _  
_

clapping both hands over my mouth.

_"Eithne!"_

without hesitation I reached up collecting my blanketed daughter into my arms,urgently unwrapping her only to see that she slumbered peacefully,not so much as a smudge of dirt on her, _Eithne was alive and just fine._

turning towards Lennox I smiled,gently bouncing her in my arms all the while the tears had been falling, smiling in return he gave a nod as he offered to take her,it was cold outside after all,doing so I then turned my attention back to Tom. _  
_

he really did looked like hell, and all I could do was wrap my arms around his leg,pressing my face on it and begin to sob heavily,it was subtle at first,his fingers slowly threading through my hair atop my head,gripping slightly.

_"we're safe now Lily"_

I didn't bother looking up dreading what Tom had to say,what had went on in the hours he had been alone with his father?,it was only obvious that's where he had been.

"you didn't.."

peeking out of my peripheral I watched Tom shaking his head slowly,his face somber.

_"no..but I wanted to"_

lifting my head,our eyes meeting,there was a finality in his own,like something had indeed taken place and he was satisfied with it,at peace with it?..I couldn't say,but whatever happened I saw a contentment in Tom that wasn't there before.

"I..I don't understand"

leaning down he hooked a hand under her my armpit pulling me up into his lap,I couldn't help but notice the smell of sweat,soil and blood coming from him,but I chose to ignore it as he urged Braun towards the Cottage,holding me firmly against him,head resting on mine. 

_"I'll explain when we get home"_

 

Tom took a much needed shower,but not before he took a much need slap across his face when we were alone,never getting angry or taking surprise in my action,he simply nodded with a weak smile.

_"I deserve more"_

and headed off to bathe.When he had finished up I don't think he was expecting to be greeted with a small houseful of police,well not so soon anyways,the Chief Constable was the first to approach him.

 _"no._.before you ask Chief" putting a hand up "I didn't kill him" Tom was annoyed now.

"I knows that Tom,Lily told us as much"

"good,then I'll give you written instructions so your men can have at it" Tom was now wearing a self satisfying grin,"and you'll find an unconscious slightly beaten sack of shit bound to a tree in front of a cobbled cottage"

I sat there listening to Tom as he gave his statement, cringing at times when he talked about his father playing with Eithne like a normal parent,the thought of that animal touching my child made me sick,but what really made my skin crawl and I heard it in Tom's voice was when his father talked of _why._.he murdered his wife an daughters,why he mistreated them more so than Tom.

because he thought as females... _they were meaningless,abhorrent creatures._

the Chief looked to Lennox as they stepped outside, firing up a cigarette.

"is this one fer the books or what Doc?"

Lennox cleared his throat.

"this case is,I would agree,but as for Tom's father,no..I'm afraid the world is filled with men just like him" he frowned "they just haven't been caught yet"

 

Sleep would not find me,though I thought after how my day went sleep and I would meet happily,so I just laid here Lily and Eithne balled up next to me under my watch as they slumbered,smiling knowing for the first time they _truly were_ free from harm.

Lennox had phoned me,my father after having received medical attention was committed to an Psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane,he saw to this himself, where he would live for the rest of his wretched life.. _good_ ,although it did sicken me,why does my father get to live at all? when my Mum and sisters where denied this at his own hands.

I could beat myself up with this,but no...in the end I have what I want,looking down upon my girl and my child, _this was more_ than I could have ever hoped for... two beautiful people who think I'm their world,..as they are mine.

 

The light patting on my cheek and the ever soft whispers stirred me awake,opening one eye at a time only to discover Eithne involved in her own little conversation as she laid beside me, _I was just thankful for once..she hadn't grabbed for my whiskers._

_"ehehehe..hey Roo"_

_"dah"_ it was a quiet acknowledgement.

 _"I love you"_ spittle bubbles made their way from her lips as she grinned widely,exposing three little teeth, "why don't we go make breakfast for mummy?"

Priding myself in at least knowing how to make a decent English breakfast that's what I went about doing,with Eithne in her highchair having put some dried cereal on the tray to eat and she did..when she wasn't throwing the shit at me _,how does Lily do it?  
_

halfway through cooking the meal I saw Lily making her way towards the kitchen,scratching at her head sleepily,yawning. _.ehehehe,she looked a mess,but I think I'll keep that to myself._

"morning my darling"

_"Ma!"_

and there went the rest of the cereal. _*sigh*_

without speaking Lily made her way to me nuzzling her face in my chest _,hmming_ contently,wrapping an arm about her as my other hand had a spatula in it,I held her tightly,that's when Eithne began to fuss,guess she felt left out. _  
_

exchanging a kiss,Lily walked over to Eithne arms out,smile wide.

"morning button"

"Ma!" she bounced in the chair arms lifted up "Ma!"

"ehehehe, someones excited to see her Mummy"

"yeah,considering she had a foot in one of her mummy's kidneys half the night, she should be happy I'm even in a good mood" Lily groaned as she took Eithne out of the highchair."did she tug your whiskers as usual this morning?"

"uh..no,just patted at my face..cooing"

frowning with a raised brow is what I received,not sure if that was a good or bad thing?..too early to tell.

"hmm,shes playing favorites again,I get a foot to an internal organ you get sweet taps to your face..shes going to be _fun_ as a teenager" Lily gave a severe twist to her lips.

Over breakfast we decided that a visit to the hospital was in order,Kate through all of the recent events was the one who bore the brunt of my fathers madness, _I owed her_ ,she put her body in harms way..to protect my child.

 

Sitting in the hallway of the ICU outside of Kate's room,holding Eithne,I was nervous...Lily had told me the extent of her injuries to prepare me,but even Lily herself hadn't seen them,only by word of mouth through Ken.

holding my hand we both exchanged looks of concern,that's when Ken came out of her room  we stood, _god he looked like shit_ ,he hadn't left Kate's side since she had been admitted,personally I think the old git had been sweet on her for some time now, _and this._.had only compounded it.

he made two strides and engulfed me with one arm pulling me to him.

 _"god boy,its good ta see ya"_ his voice gravelly, muffled into my shoulder.

lifting his head up,he placed a fatherly hand on my face.

 _"I heard the news,..now..may there be peace be with ya son"_  

his voice was the softest I ever heard it.

"it's definitely.. _a new beginning"_ I smiled weakly.

 

                                                                      _To be Continued.._


	33. Ghosts of Times Past

The sight before me was all too familiar,appalling and it angered me,my father managed to get one more dig in before he finally paid his due, Kate was in a state that I only hoped that she could recover fully,conscious yes, but it reminded me well of my Mum and the shape she had been left in countless times,whether it was from trying to protect us kids or...for whatever irrational reason my father came up with.

Lily sat at her side holding Kate's hand,puffy eyed,trying her best to refrain from crying,Kate being the stalwart in spirit kind of woman was the one doing the comforting of the young woman at her bedside,she was having none of Lily's woe.

"ya needn't ta be so shite in mood Lily..I be fine..sides,I had enough of it from this ol' git" she managed to point towards Ken, "an would someone please tell him ta go home already..he be smellin' ripe as a pigs arse"

sniffing up at the air turning toward Ken who was narrowing his eyes,giving me a shitty look.

 _"is that_ what that is?,thought Eithne might need a nappy change" I snickered.

"aye..it be him,an he be needin' a shave too,lookin' like a dirty ol' troll" Kate added.

"I see ya mouth has recovered fully woman,same wicked tongue ya had before,savin' it ta shame me in fron't of me kin where ya?" Ken folded his arms.

"na..the nurses be askin' me this mornin' ifn' I would mention it,they was bein' nice in not sayin' ya reek" Kate managed a little smile though I could tell it caused her some pain to do so.

and as if to add insult to injury,Eithne just had to throw in her two cents,pointing at him as she bounced in my arms happily pointing at him,giggling.

_"Keeen..poop!"_

_"aw fer the love of.."_ Ken threw up his arms,"now ye got the wee bun slightin' her own uncle..ya happy Kate?"

the small smirk on her injured lips said it all. _  
_

 

It would be a few days before Kate could come home and Tom,Ken and I decided to clean up her place,the police did what they could,but the place was still a chaotic mess... _she indeed_ put up a helluva fight.

"that couch was shite,what was left of it any ways,I'll get me horse trailer an have it hauled away,can get her a really nice one ta replace it" Ken said as he and Tom walked back in the house," she been eyein' a nice one town awhile back..I think I get it fer her,a nice surprise" he winked.

sitting on the kitchen floor with a bucket of cleanser,I had been scrubbing walls and floors,peering in the living area through the doorway,I grinned.

"thats very sweet Ken,she'll like that"

 _"sweet?_...meh" he gave a dismissive wave"that other one was older than old man MacLure's bollocks,needed a new one she did"

 _older than old man MacLure's bollocks_..really Ken?,I rolled my eyes and resumed my task. 

"Ken..old man MacLure _is dead,_ has been for years now" Tom looked at his uncle as if he lost his mind.

"ye.. _that's the point_ boy" Ken shook his head, "sometimes ye real thick,ya know that?"

"can we quit with the _old as balls_ talk,we need to get this place cleaned" deciding the chit chat was getting annoying.

"ehehehehe, you're sexy when you talk dirty darling"

the man was a child.

"shut up and get back to work Tom" I wagged a dirty sponge at him.

 

A solid week had passed,Kate was discharged from the hospital under mine and Tom's care,we would stay with her at her home,she would need our assistance twenty four seven,along with her broken leg,it seems she also suffered a crushed knee cap,the Orthopedic surgeon did what he could with pins, but was grim on her recovery,the damage was..extensive,Kate more than likely would have to use a cane to walk once she healed.

Tom cursed his father many times over when he heard this,it didn't help when the Doctor had explained the nature of her knee injury was due to the fact that it had been _literally,_ for the lack of a better word, _stomped on_ repeatedly with great force.

but it was the surprise of the new Chocolate colored plush sectional couch that included a chaise,armless loveseat,sofa and oversized ottoman that left her speechless for a moment as she entered the house.

"that be lookin' familiar..it" turning her head toward Ken and me as Tom had been the one to help her inside, "ya..ya went an bought that couch I had been flappin' me gob about..didn't ya Lily,ya told her?" giving Ken a suspicious eye.

"no I didn't" I grinned, "he bought it himself" pointing a thumb over at Ken,who slid his hands into his front pockets now looking  self-conscious.

"Kenneth Hiddleston. _.ya didn't"_ she was taken aback,"that be settin' ya back a few...pricey it was"

"meh" he shrugged,"not really,an quit makin' a big deal of it woman an just enjoy it,..sides,that other one was a manky piece of shite anyways"

a small smile crept up on the corner of her mouth,Tom help her over to the chaise part of the couch and slowly lowered herself on it,as Tom propped her back and leg with some small pillows.

"aye,this is _very nice_ indeed" as she adjusted herself,looking up and over at Ken, "I'd could kiss ya for this ya ol' git,but ifn' ya anythin' like yer Nephew here, I'd never get ya off me"

that remark made me start laughing loudly,but I was _the only one,_ Tom and Ken went up in a chorus of..

_"hey!"_

which only made me laugh harder,Kate simply sat there with her hands folded in her lap wearing a shit eating grin.

 

Sitting across from Kate who was tapping away on her new laptop Tom had bought her,  _yes she was being spoiled and lord knows she deserved it,_ I watched over the top of a book I was reading a certain little curly ginger headed toddler making her way towards us.

quietly I noticed who Eithne spotted me, gifting her mom with a three tooth smile,I winked back,when she made her way around the foot of the chaise,spotting Kate.

 _"Kay!"_   stopping abruptly,pointing at her,then looked at me in surprise.

"yes,its Kate"

 _"ah wee bun!.._ come here,I missed you!" Kate cheered, setting the laptop aside.

she didn't have to ask again,Eithne scurried over,but I was worried about Kate's leg.

"Eithne, _careful_..Kate has some boo boo's,you have to be gentle,you know..like when you hold Kate's baby chickens"

Eithne stopped, looking at the boot cast and knee wrap on her leg,she stood on her toes curiously looking,then up at Kate.

"ya have boo's Kay?"

"yes darling,I do..so like Mummy said,have ta be a wee bit careful..okay?"

_"ooh-kay"_

I was amazed watching my daughter go to the end of the chaise,pull herself up on it,slowly crawl over to Kate,careful not to bump her leg and broken arm, gingerly slide up into the woman's arms,snuggling up,Kate's face lit up,as she embraced Eithne with her good arm,burying her face among the dark red curls,kissing them.

All three of us seem to have dozed off for a fair few,when I woke Eithne was still curled up in Kate's lap who herself had remained asleep.

"a lovely sight is it not"

turning my head quickly towards the kitchen,there stood Lennox,smiling warmly holding a cup of what I assumed was a cup of tea,when did he get back?

"Lennox"

"hello Lily,you look well" glancing over at Kate now,"and despite everything,she seems to be healing nicely,of course being surrounded by those who love her will quicken the process physically and mentally" 

"I hope so" I now was looking to her,"the Doc says she has a long road ahead of her,that because of the severity of her knee injury,she'll more than likely require the use of a cane...for the rest of her life"

"Kate is as I've discovered, is a resilient sort,she'll not let this set her back Lily" he took a seat across from me,"reminds me of someone else I know" turning his head slowly toward me,brow raised.

"don't know _about that"_ giving him the same look.

"don't know about what?"

Tom came out from the kitchen.. _.filthy_ head to toe,what did he do,roll in the pig pens and the pasture with the Cows?

 _"oh my god_ you're covered _in crap,_ go back outside and rinse off" I pointed.

the look I got was incredulous,if anything that stood out from all the grime on his body..it was those azure blue eyes,expressing this.

"Lily..I've been helping Ken,of course I'm covered in crap...oh hello Lennox"

Lennox gave him a little wave and a nod,smirking.

"hello Thomas"

"Tom...if Kate wakes up and sees you in _that state,_ she'll risk re injury just to kick your ass for crapping up her house _now go!"_ I pointed again.

"what...and strip down and run through here naked all the way to the loo?" Tom threw up his arms in protest.

"its not like no ones seen you naked before,but..no" folding my arms,frowning.

"I haven't" Lennox held his cup up,"and I don't want too"

"ehehehe,that's right..you haven't" Tom took joy in this fact.

standing up now,he stopped laughing.

"just go to the mud room Tom, _you know_ its fully equipped,use the shower and the items in there,you know like towels an such" _primitive ass anyways,wanting to trudge through a house dirty as hell._

when I was sure he was in the mud room I relaxed,looking over at Lennox.

"I just saved you from a likelihood of a trauma from something you'd never be able to.. _.unsee"_ I wrinkled my nose,not because I found seeing Tom naked unpleasant,but for Lennox... _ack!_

chuckling heartily he nodded,putting a hand to his chest.

"I and my psyche thank you,Lily"

"okay all humor aside" now to approach him on something that had been bugging me, "I know you've been,how shall we say?. _..busy,_ tell me Lennox,did you...talk to him?"

setting the cup down,Lennox turned in his seat to face me,he could see how anxious I was.

"you mean Tom Sr?..yes I did"

"well?"

"Lily..hes a _very_ sick man,and its good that he is finally locked away in a facility that can deal with his mental instability" looking towards the kitchen then back to me,"I don't give Tom enough credit for what he must of endured under that mans psychotic and oppressive reign he had over the household,its a wonder that boy came out of it in as good as shape as he did"

my heart sank,Tom's father must of really left a lasting impression on Lennox for him to say all that.

"can you tell me..what he said?,I mean if its not too much to ask"

"it's not darling,you have every right to know,he..flip flopped as it were,in and out of different states of emotion, one minute he would talk proudly of his family,especially Tom,you and Eithne,the next he would just.. _.lose it_ ,called his wife and daughters,women in general every filthy thing he could think of.." he sighed heavily,tongue rolling in his cheek as he looked thoughtfully,"it maybe unprofessional,but he truly _is_ a nutter"

wow..

"my grandma would  put it as _crazier than a shit house rat._.but I like yours better"

"actually..I favor your Grandmothers take on it,yes its profane,but at least its honest" he chuckled,"and she so happens to be dead on in the diagnosis"

our conversation was cut short as Tom entered the room clad in a black bathrobe,his ginger curls wet having not been dried yet.

 _"much better"_ I nodded,"though you do need to trim those whiskers" running a fingertip across my own chin, "got that goat look going on again"

planting his feet firmly where he had stopped,Tom twisted his lips to one side an obvious look of disapproval.

"woman..enough with the _you look like a goat_ ,cause I don't,between you an Eithne,with all the tugging on my chin hairs,its a wonder I have any at all"

"we do it out of love"

an unattractive snort escaped him.

"Eithne..maybe, _you"_ he pointed,"do it cause you are being a cheeky minx"

"or cause you..as Ken would put it,are being a wanker" I countered.

"I was thinking more of..a sod" Lennox piped up,grinning of course.

Tom looked over at him,forehead creased as if he felt slighted by the mans interruption of the conversation.

"and when did _your_ opinion ever count?"

"never, _but I always gave it anyways"_ Lennox shot back relaxing into his chair giving Tom the biggest sarcastic smile I've seen yet.. _bravo Lennox!_

"indeed you always did" Tom frowned,"and it seems you'll continue to do so" _  
_

"its part of my job Tom"

"ever considered a career change?"

"many times" Lennox acknowledged.

 _"oh for the love of Christ,the lot of ya,can't ya just shut ya gobs_ ,soundin' like me hens ya do"all of us turned to see Kate wide awake with a fractious look on her face,"Lily,yas stubborn as mules arse,Tom..wilder than the fires of Hades,and Doc..ya,I think I'll leave it alone,not quite sure about ya anyways"

"well said Kate" Lennox gave a polite nod.

"well ifn' I weren't infirmed,I would of been up by now cuffin' the lot of ya" wagging a finger at us,"starting with Tom"

 _"naturally"_ Tom groaned.

 

Having settled Kate in her bedroom for the night,not without argument though,she insisted that Eithne stay with her,so I set up the porta crib and thankfully Eithne went down without a fuss.

however it was Lily I was concerned about,it was obvious that the tumultuousness of the past week was catching up with her,it had been the whole time,but it was as of late reaching a point that it looked critical,at least to me it did.

I think she thought no one would notice,her irritability,inconsistent sleeping patterns,even her pallor was off,spending a lot of time in the loo,and Kate even mentioned seeing Lily grabbing at furniture as if she were about to faint.

at present Lily was just walking into the bedroom having come from the loo,she looked pale and was wiping her mouth with edge of her hand.

"darling..you alright?"

"uh..yeah,just tired..been a long day,looking forward to some sleep"

dropping onto the bed she rolled onto her back,I laid onto my side,not buying any of it.

"Lily..I know you better than that,whats wrong?"

sighing,she slowly threaded her fingers through her hair,staring up at the ceiling,something was up and she seem hesitant to talk.

 _"nothings wrong Tom,really..I'm fine"_ she murmured.

reaching over,I took her gently by the chin,pulling her face towards me.

"bollocks..tell me,I don't like seeing you like this,and don't think I haven't been aware,you've been like this for over a week now..are you ill?"

a restrained smile reached her face.

"no Tom,I'm not ill..." placing a hand on my cheek _"I..I, have something for you"_

looking at her puzzled, Lily rolled on her side and reached over to her nightstand opening the little drawer, digging through it, pulling something out, then rolled back over.

"what?" still confused.

 _"I was to give you this at the right time,I believe that is..now"_ her voice soft, "until recently, the person who had it _didn't know_ they did"

taking my hand I watched as she placed whatever she had in my palm, holding her hand on it as she looked at me, her eyes were brimming, _what the?_... removing her hand I looked down,it looked like an upturned photo,turning it over carefully.....

 

                                                                          

 

 

 _"Mu...Mummy"_ I choked.

running my fingertips lightly down the photo, gobsmacked wasn't even close, quickly looking over at Lily whose face was now flooded with silent tears.

"shes beautiful Tom, I see Eithne in her" she sniffed.

"I see it too. _.but how?"_

putting her fingertips gently to my mouth,shushing me instantly.

"its a gift...take it as such"

I would pursue this later, Lily knew this, but she was right, I had no pictures of my Mum, _truly_ this was a gift, like my Lily and my Eithne.

"was it Lennox?"

"Tom!.. _no"_

Okay so it was sooner rather than later.

 

                                                                          **The End.**


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